[RoseM]

We are in the process of applying to private middle schools. I would like to understand why some private schools still have the question "Is the child adopted" on the admissions form, while not including questions about other options in family creation such as, are these your biological children or are they a result of donor sperm, eggs, or both. I have also found the same question ADOPTED? on the entrance exam/IQ test. I experienced some very negative feed back from an educational psy. who tested my daughter. She reported her IQ to be in the "Extremely" High range, but because she was adopted she must have slight ADD because all adopted children had some form of ADD. All of her teachers and our peditrician scoffed at that saying she is absolutely no way ADD. I decided immediately that I would never again check off adopted on any of these forms. Here are my questions:

Legally do I have to disclose my children's adoption information to schools or educational testers especially if I am paying for it?

What purpose does it serve in the evaluation for an IQ test/entrance exam to ask if a child is adopted?

[dragonfly1234]

You raise a very good question that I am trying to figure out myself. First is how do you answer that question? The second is why must I say that he or she is adopted? Thats just the mom coming out!

Now with that being said our son understands he is adopted and that there are no secrets. I also want his teacher to understand should certain projects involve family history.....but other than that should it be on the paper work? I don't know what the answer is....I am still trying to work thru this myself and it will probably take me years along with my son to figure out what is best for him.

[bethy724]

My son is only 4 so I haven't seen the question - but I would wonder if I would want to send him to a private school that finds that private information necessary. I think they can ask whatever they want (it's their school) I'd just wonder if that is the est place for a child that is segregated before he even gets there. As far as the educational psy. I'd report her ignorant statement to her supervisor unless she has some documentation supporting her THEORY that adopted children have ADD - I've never heard of that. And if she is an employee of a public school - I'd notify the schoolboard of her ignorance (again if she doesn't have documentation to support her blanket statement) I don't think I could let that one slide - it's too damaging for children to hear that statistically they are this or that especially when people in authority make the "statistic" accomidate their agenda. If she put it on paper I'd submit it to her supervisor/school board - it's unacceptable to label a child.

[Empty_Nest]

I wouldn't answer it. NOTB. If there is an adoption-related issue, I would only tell the people involved on a need to know basis.

And I would definitely report anyone making such incredibly ignorant statements as the one you mentioned. I've done that many times, starting with the school nurse who told me my Korean kids were more susceptible to head lice than other kids. Some days it's still hard for me to believe people that clueless actually were able to acquire college degrees.

I don't check off boxes that ask me about my race, either. Again, NOTB, and I don't want to be included in some demographic like 'XX% of all [insert race here] applied for [whatever is being applied for].' Ditto for anything asking for my income range, and if anybody is asking for my SSN, they better be able to convince me they really need it.

Yes, some days I really am that cranky.