[sixx788]

I need some help here. My 10 year old step son will not sleep by himself. He used to up until about 3 months ago. His room was the whole upper floor, but all of a sudden seems to be scared of it. So he asked his dad to move his bed downstairs. Now that his bed is downstairs, he wants my husband to lay with him until he goes to sleep. I work afternoons and come home at 12:15 am to find my husband still sleeping in my step sons room. NOW, for the past week, I have been coming home to find my step son in my bed! I have to wake my husband up and my stepson to make him go back to his own bed. UGH!!! But, I am the only one that is annoyed with this behavior. I think he is too old to be wanting or should I say, needing his dad to go to sleep. He also sleeps with his mom in her bed when he is visiting her on the weekends. The funny part is that he is mr. tough guy all through the day until bed time. If you know what I mean. I just find this behavior to be bizarre. Am I wrong?

[aMarylandfamily]

My son did this about age 12 ... all of a sudden just didn't want to be upstairs or in the rec room in the basement without someone else there and for a spell I had to sit on the end of his bed while he went to sleep - for up to an hour or longer ... weaned him a little bit at a time down to 10 minutes ... and then set up a time when I wouldn't ... so if he wants to chat before bedtime and have me in the room it has to be by 9:15 for 10 minutes and if after that we say goodnight and I go to bed ... it has worked - alleviated some of the fears as he knows I am there if needed - still not doing the rec room in the basement by himself but that's the next target.

I think its just something kids experience - as they get older they watch more tv ... and even news ... and sometimes the reality of life can get them thinking - part of maturity where they don't need us (as you say all day) but they really do ...

Hope this helps.

[sixx788]

Your post really has helped. I do think what you have done is a great idea. I am going to print out your message for my husband. I just hope he will follow through. But I think this is a great idea. Especially setting up a time to be in bed by if he wants to chat. Getting him to bed is a chore alone.


Thanks!

[candace2006]

I wonder if something traumatic happened to him three months before, when his behavior started, something that made him feel insecure and needing the proximity of a parent to be able to fall asleep.

Has your husband tried reading him a bedtime story in the kid's own bed? Even if he is 10 or over, doesn't mean that he doesn't enjoy that... especially if he is an only child. He may feel lonely in a huge room all by himself.

Good luck!