[redhedded]

Did anyone see this brief program last night about the unschooling in America and the number of families that have opted for this choice? Five, six, ten year olds not going to school. Many families do not use an approved homeschooling curriculum; they allow their children to decide what the day holds.

It is clear that people choose this for a myriad of reasons, many of which I absolutely understand. Some children had great computer skills, great musical ability, and it was stated that some tested on standarized tests much higher than their same age peers. It is child centered, which I love. It is considering the child's individual needs, talents and strengths, which I appreciate. Then. . . the group admitted that many of the children do not learn to read until age 9.

I wonder, did you see it and what did you think? Even if you did not see, what do you think? Do you know anyone who has followed this path.

[Jensboys]

When we began to research homeschooling (which I do with my 4 boys) we stumbled across many in the "unschooling" movement. Its a weird philosophy because I really dont see it working out much past the age of 18. The one mother I know best who does this lifestyle with her kids says she doesnt WANT her kids to get a post secondary education but rather they "do what they love". Well I will remind her of that when her child is doing "what they love" while living in her basement at 45. It also seemed to be joined with an unstructured parenting philosophy of very few boundaries - kids had no bedtimes, no "rules", did what they wanted, cosleeping at 12, breastfeeding at 4. pretty much not alot like me

To be honest, I am way too much of a control freak to school like that. I want my kids to explore their talents and to learn about what they love, but how will they know unless they are exposed to it? I have a son that is highly gifted in math - would he have discovered that at 7 if hadn't sat him down to show him some equations? I have another that can write poetry but HATED the IDEA of it before we started the poetry unit, and now loves it. I have another that enjoys typing but didnt want to do the unit either. Among other things. If I left the kids education up to them, they would watch cartoons, jump on the trampoline and play hockey all day, every day for life

[redhedded]

Jen, excellent post. Your summary was pretty much mine exactly and absolutely felt like the school choice was consistent with very few "other" rules.

What interested me was the physicist who says his kids will find what they love without standard education. I, like you, believe that the exposure has to come in knowledgeable, enthusiastic form for them to "find" it.

An "expert" indicated that post high school was exactly his concern. Most of these kids will not have the skills to go on to college, even if they wanted to.

[crick]

I didn't see the show...wish I had though! Based on the philosophy described by you and Jen, I can already tell I don't agree with it!

I understand exploring and enriching talents that the children have, but agree that without exposure, there are so many hidden talents that might never surface.

I also believe that people who focus entirely on 1 or 2 things in life end up burning out or getting bored. What are they left with then?

[echaos]

Here's a good website on Unschooling

http://www.unschooling.com/index.shtml

I kinda like the philosophy of learning what you love, but I aggree... how do you know what you love if you aren't exposed to it???

[lucyjoy]

I like the unschooling method-especially for kids with RAD. It removes the battles. (However, there is no co-sleeping or breastfeeding involved here) I use a lot of life skill lessons as well. My one son, is disabled and couldn't read when he showed up at 9 and sat in school with an IEP that required he count to 10 and know his colors. He could go to school that way, but at 45 would be living in my basement which is not an option that works for me.

My niece has severe auditory processing issues but the school was letting her fail 7th grade and said she was working at her IQ potential and didn't qualify for services. She does hate reading. My sister removed her from school and is using mostly unschooling with her. She attends lots of science and fine arts events and camps. My dad takes her and two of my boys on adventures that teach them about careers and cost of living and exposes them to real life. She does tons of things on the computer. She does have a math and science tutor that comes once a week.

In true unschooling, the environment around you becomes the classroom and everything in it becomes a learning opportunity.

[crick]

Lucy...based on your experience with it then, it sounds like a much more learning and exposure environment. So guess, like with anything else...it's up to the parents to make sure the program works the way it's intended to?

[scarlet52698]

My sister in law has followed this philosophy with all three of her girls who are now 10, 8, and 6. They are amazingly creative but emotionally very immature. That might just be from the parenting style though I don't know.

The oldest begged her mom to let her go to school and they relented to letting her attend classes 3 days a week.

I guess it can work for some families but I think it limits the child's exposure to diversity IMO.

[Jensboys]

I would concur that the children I am exposed to that are unschooled seem extremely immature in the way they relate to others. Could simply be the way their parents "teach" though.

Of course, in regards to what Lucy said about special needs - I can see its relevance. To every opinion, an exception occurs

I have hard part with the concept that the child shouldnt do anything they dont want to. Life, in great measure, is about hard work and doing what you HAVE to do. Like showering or laundry, or paying your bills. I think its GREAT to have a passion, but a large part of allowing my kids to develop their PASSION is that I am also teaching them that other things, to us, are more important than that. Family, church, responsibility, a work ethic etc. How many young men do you know (or know of) whose "passion" for video games robs them of their chance to experience life? Or kids whose passion for a sport (in our house, hockey) robs their family of a normal life?

I want my kids to know ALL things in balance - and know what their priorities are. I love the fact they learn about other cultures, even if they dont "want" to.

Disclaimer: My kids CAN function through regular schooling and do quite well

[Lexie]

I did not see the show, but I wanted to comment on homeschooling without a structured curriculum ( Is that what unschooling is?) I have a cousin that has 5 children that were homeschooled without a specific curriculum until high school. The first 4 children were ahead of grade at the time they entered school ( the last one is still being homeschooled for a few more years). My cousin's wife is a trained teacher. She lets the children decide the focus for the day---but then they are required to do a full range of studies related to that topic. They also do a lot of reasearch on the computer as well as in the library. They visit various museums frequently as part of their study. Their kids are just so well behaved and interesting. They are a bit used to being around adults so they carry on quite mature conversations and always have. When they were younger it used to amaze me how I could talk to the parents in a relatively quiet room with the 5 kids around. Each doing something--reading, computer, draawing, a game---quietly. They are active in their church which has a large children's program so they get a lot of socialization there.

I must say that I was quite against homeschooling before I was exposed to the cousin's philosophy and now knowing their children it can be great if it is done well. It takes a lot of work!!!!

[redhedded]

Lexie, I have the utmost respect for homeschoolers, and we have considered it often (waffled actually) in the last year for our daughter. I know how much work and dedication it takes and absolutely understand why some people choose to do it for their kids, for many reasons. Our city has a HUGE homeschool population.

The program, was in fact, a bit misleading, in that it did not show the world as your lab/classroom so to speak. I did some reading online after this post and the program to find that some unschooling groups are very very organized in their free spirit, child centered approach to education. The program more or less showed a 5 year old boy who poked around on the computer, played with his toys and wore his pajamas all day and responded "whatever I want" when asked what he chooses to do each day. It does not seem to be a good representation of those who are doing it well.

[Lexie]

Originally Posted by FH-redhedded

The program more or less showed a 5 year old boy who poked around on the computer, played with his toys and wore his pajamas all day and responded "whatever I want" when asked what he chooses to do each day.

It doesn't sound like this boy is going to have the skills, discipline and exposure to realize his potential. I wonder if his parents think about that. I know my cousin tries to emphasize both fun and rigor ( She lives in the UK or I would have her school my son too). We can have fun while we are learning--but you have to learn something.

[bjhv5]

we do a bit of unschooling but only to a certain extent! we have rules "I am a very rule oriented person" but I am not a "book learner" I do better with hands on things as does my dd.SO we combine the methods and it works out great for us.

I disagree with moms who do nothing with their kids except let them "be".I think kids need some kind of structure in thier life. but that is just me

[Howdy]

I didn't see the program, but I think unschooling sounds nicer than the schools my daughter has gone to. In 3rd grade (when in a different placement) she cheated all the time on her homework. In her current school in 4th grade I'm constantly having to try to rein her back from cheating, but I totally sympathize with her inclination, because the homework load is too much for her, also, she doesn't seem motivated to do it, and she claims she doesn't understand it.

I've bought her math and general workbooks from the education store, and she will spend hours happily working in those on her own. She will read packages, catalogs, and directions (and successfully followed the directions to put together some cheap badminton poles/net, which is better than I can do!), but she resists sitting and reading books.

School is too much stress for her. Also she doesn't seem ready to do abstract math and that is what her class has switched to already. She still needs word problems and pictures to understand math concepts like division, but is being forced to memorize techniques to get the right answers. Sure she is being 'exposed' to lots of topics, but the way the school system is exposing the kids I think is too pressured, too fast, too advanced for their ages, etc.

I'm single and have to work and I don't know if I could afford a private child-centered school.

I'm finding myself being unsupportive of the teacher or my daughter's schooling, which has been a big shock to myself, because pre-adoption I thought schools with high scores, testing, high standards, etc was the right way.

When I went to school I had almost no homework, and when I did have it, I usually didn't do it. But school was easy enough to get through, and my casual attitude through age 18 didn't adversely affect me in college (except that I had to take an algebra course before I could take "real" math classes, but even that wasn't a serious handicap, and in fact my B.S. is in Math, ironically, ha!).

I think schools today are discouraging kids more than preparing them. I've read that cheating rates keep going up and up, and that today's kids have high levels of stress. It is too bad.

[bjhv5]

When my dd went to public school( only for the first 6 weeks) I was so upset at the way they did things.Her homework ( which was at least 2 hours) did not count for a grade ,the school work did not count for a grade the only thing that counted were her test scores!! Can you belive that?Some children do not do well on test and it so unfair to base what you think they know on a test.

As soon as we got custody of her we pulled her out,We have done homeschooling with our oldest for the last 10 years he is now in college and doing great.
I think there are people out there that use homeschool as a way to do nothing at all with the children but then there are those of us who seem laid back but still get the work done and children learn.