[HappyMomAnna]

with Sean and Tori they got to experience everything that other families did--they just came home and slept in their own rooms at night...They still got to eat meals, still got to play late.... They expereinced camping very young and very VERY often....but, as parents 90% of the time We were camping with our kids... Sean is an Eagle Scout and I lead Tori's Girl Scout troup....

We also do a lot of Family Camping....and we get to know other families in the camping area and different things about a lot of different families...

There are many opportunities for children to have expereinces and they don't have to include useing someone elses bathroom and waking up in someone elses home.... There was never a problem with my kids being part of parties or having their own.... It just ended at Midnight or even when they were older 2 am...I don't care...Camping and hotels are vacations and distances and eventful.... Those are memorie maker events.... There is plenty of ways to give children expereinces and having a night off or a houseful of children never really has made much sense to me.....

[spaypets]

Summer camp and camping aren't the same thing...Summer camp is living in a cabin with 10 other girls, learning to cooperate, share the workload, learning about what you have in common and what you don't.

It's about sailing and swimming and softball and services (mine was a Jewish summer camp). It's about writing home and care packages and mail call. It's about being independent in a structured environment, knowing to see the camp nurse when you're sick, making your bed, sorting your laundry not because mom told you to, but because you won't have clean clothes otherwise. It's about growing up with the same people (I went for 9 years), about wish aways and color war about tearful goodbyes and promising to write. It's about being responsible for your stuff and keeping track of it. It's about knowing you can be without your parents but still miss them. It's about dreaming about being a counselor when you are old enough, about singing in the dining hall, about sleeping w/o air conditioning and remembering to put on sunscreen.

It's about arts and crafts, and clay and gimp and macrame.

For my brother, it was about meeting the girl he eventually married.

Sometimes when I smell wet spruce trees or french toast, I'm transported back to those days even though it's been more than 20 years. Camp was so much more than sleeping in a tent twice a summer. It was everything--I don't even know how to explain it to someone who hasn't been. All I know is that I'm a better person because I went to camp.

[Lorraine123]

I apologize if I sounded harsh in my previous post. I didn't mean to offend... maybe just debate a little and offer the other side.....

Anyway, let me clarify something. I have two biological children and one adopted child. My biological children are older (teenagers). They attend sleepovers and have their friends sleepover at our house. So, I'm not against sleepovers. That wasn't my point. I probably wasn't clear. I'm not overly protective (well, maybe sometimes) and I very much agree that children should experience the world as they grow. I do tend to prefer for my children to have their friends over to our house as opposed to them going there. Our door (and refrigerator) is always open. But I also realize there is value in sleepovers for them.

My response was more due to the fact that we are discussing children from foster care. Almost all children from foster care will have some attachment problems (I didn't say they all have attachment disorders, but problems). Therefore, I feel that they should be in their own homes as much as possible and with their own families as much as possible. I don't think you can err on the side of promoting too much attachment with these children.

Yes, my daughter has RAD (along with a myriad of other issues). And I realize this makes her different and I have to treat her in a different way.

Truce??????

[DinPAis2adopt]

Lorraine123,

Thank you (really!) for being so polite and real, and clarifying your post. I was expecting a real "lashing" based on some of the other boards I've seen on here (by other users)

I guess that my wife and I are fortunate that our son (even though he has been through a tremendous amount in his short life) does not have "full blown" RAD... I have gained a lot of insight about this over the last year, and I have seen how bad it CAN be...

I can certainly agree that many kids with RAD should not go to sleepovers at other's homes... as they truly cannot know how to deal with some things. Some kids with attachment issues can do this though.

Thanks for being a mom!

D