[mhale]

Hi. My DH and I are trying to make a final decision on an agency. We are considering Commonwealth and Gladney. We are looking for a boy under 12 months. We just found out that you go on a blind referal. Has anyone used either agency? Or has anyone gone on a blind referal? Did you have the opportunity to select another child if you did not feel your referal was a match? I am concerened about the whole blind referal thing. Would love some insight from someone who has been there.

[paulukon]

Mysti, I haven't been there, but I hope to be! Our agency, Children's Hope International, does not give any info about the child before going. I've heard of this as a blind referral, but I've also heard of someone going with any specific child being called a blind referral. Our agency gives no information because, as far as I can find out, it is illegal in Russia for this information to be given out. People have been a little vague about it--I know videos are definitely out in most if not all regions. Photos are only to be taken by the actual adoptive parents I've also been told by a number of different places. Medicals and names--haven't head about those one way or the other. Except that our agency gives nothing out.

That alone is a good enough reason for my husband and I to travel blind. We don't want to break the law nor to lie about it in Russia. (I personally know someone who lied about not having any info on their child even though they had a picture, name, and medicals in advance.)

Also, every agency I looked at has you travel after getting a referral but promises additional referrals if the first doesn't work out (for medical reasons). Ask your agency to be certain. In another forum, someone was told there wouldn't be any other kids of the age they wanted. So you might also ask what happens if no others are available--will they make you take another trip, send you to another region, or what.

At first, blind referral scared us, too. But once we learned about the legal issues, we are afraid we *will* will be given information. We won't start our family on a lie.

AnnMarie

[PBRTN]

Hello Mysti:

My husband and I just adopted a little girl from Russia. We completed the adoption December 24th. We used Commonwealth and would use them again. We originally went over to see a 9 month old little girl. This referral did not work out and we were matched with another girl the next day. Our daughter is 3 yrs old. We are thrilled with her and even though we thought we wanted an infant girl, our 3 yr old is great. We can't imagine being any happier!!!

Just please keep in mind that no matter what agency you use that the information that you are given is only as accurate as the information provided to the agency. Sometimes your agency is only given partial information, and a referral that sounds good, isn't always the referral you accept.

This happens, but international adoption is a leap of faith.

Commonwealth was very supportive of our decision to turn down the first referral and worked diligently to get us another referral while we were there.

Good luck with your journey!! It is the experience of a lifetime!!

pbrtn

[tinker1]

Hi

My husband and I are waiting patiently for our court date in Omsk, Russia. We went there in November with 2 other couples and did a "blind referral". I would never recommend this.
Once we arrived in Omsk, it took 8 days for the Ministry of Education to even think about meeting with us. Once she did, she picked older children for all of us to meet than what was in our home study. But with emotions flying, we were so eager to meet our child. Once we went to the orphange to meet our new son, the director of the orphange said that we did not want to see this child. We could not understand why and we were so excited to meet our child. Once things were explained to us that this little boy was extremely sick and possibly going blind, we understood why she might have said what she said. However, my husband and I wanted to meet this child. We had less than 5 minutes to say yes or no without seeing the little boy. With everyone discuraging us and no way of sending his medical records back home to check his diagnosis before we agreed, we decided not to meet this little boy. It was a horrible experience and the different emotions running through our heads. Afterwards, the director wanted us to meet another little boy who she thought would be perfect for us. We did meet this little boy and we fell in love with him. He was 15 months old and does have some medical issues, however, again we had no time to send any medicals back to the states and made a decision on our judgement and hearts.
We have been waiting 3 and half months to go back and get him but can not get a court date set. We have had many delays and knowing that our child was sick when we were there was very difficult and the wait is killing us. He just turned 18 months old and we have no idea how he is doing.
I would definitly consider your options before going over ther "blind"...
Again this is just my opinion and your experience could be very different than ours.

[Tracy K.]

Making the trip without any information on a specific child was a change made by the Russian government in an attempt to control unscrupulous people who were corrupt and trying to "sell" babies. As far as medical information is concerned, each orphanage keeps a huge ledger book on each child with detailed notes...that was our experience. However, since the information is handwritten in Russian, it isn't likely that they would let you read it. A physician at the orphanage in Moscow where we were kept the book on her lap and read to it from us. But just know that the information is there and you should be able to get a hold of it...there is no reason that you should be waiting for months without any information. Agencies and facilitators have close relationships with the orphanages from which they place children in homes. You should be able to get information. Ask questions, be a pest.

Also, there are US/Canadian physicians who specialize in medical evaluation of referrals from international adoptions who will accept phone calls from overseas, and physicians in-country who will examine your child. Check out some of the links contained in other messages in the Russia section. And most of all, good luck.

[reneetaylor]

MHale - I went on a blind referral when I adopted from Russia. I was told that I was travleing to meet a 9 month old boy and when I got to the region to see him, I was told that he was unavailable but that they had great older kids which I could choose from. When I insisted that I wanted an infant around the age of one, they left me and another couple at the hotel and agreed to contact us within a few hours. When they returned, we were told that they had infants available in another region about 3 hours away and that we would travel there the next day.

When we got there, I went in and was shown a few different children. My daughter was the first who I saw and I spent about 20 minutes with her, a caregiver, the translator, and the orphange director. The medical reports were translated into English and I was able to hold her and play with her while I listened to the info. I was unable to take pictures because I didn't say that I definitely wanted her yet. I wanted to get the medical info reviewed by the team at the U of Minnisota, which speacializes in international adoption. After the time I spent with her, they brought in the other two children (one at a time) and went through the same routine. At the end of the meeting with the third child, I told them that I was interested in my daughter and they left it at that. If I had told them that I was unsatisfied with the children they had shown me, they would have kept on bringing in children which matched my criteria of being around 12 months old.

From what my agency told me, they will try to get you to adopt the older kids, but you've got to stick to your guns and demand to see the type of child you specified on your INS paperwork and in your homestudy. I was told that I could look at as many children as it took in order for me to find the one I wanted to adopt, so I truely beleive that the Russian counterpart will do what they can to ensure that you find a child. My daughter was 11 months old when I met her and 12 months old when I returned to pick her up for the trip home. While it didn't start out too smoothly, I feel that it worked out the way it was intended to.

It really is a leap of faith! Trust that God will lead you to your child and then just go with the flow. Be assertive and don't let the chaos scare you!

Renee

[Claudia Murphy]

Hi;
We are waiting for an invitation from Russia and our Agency, Per Russian Law, agencies are not allowed to give you photos or information about the child prior to your travel. That said, there are many agencies out there that somehow work around this issue, albeit not legally. Once again, per our agency, and I believe most of them have the same policy, you are allowed to not accept the referral. Ours told us that they would make every effort to match you with another child in that same trip. Hope this helps.
Claudia

[marinas mom]

Hello! I used Gladney to adopt my daughter in April 2001. They were excellent. You cant go wrong with them. My daughter is very healthy and beautiful. She was 9 1/2 mos. old when she came home. She will be three next month.

[sofla100]

We are using Commonwealth and they seem good so far. The only concern I have is that they have delayed, due to demand,
submission of requests for more than 1 child. You might have to wait several additional months now if you want more than one. However, if you go with one, they are telling us it will be 1-3 mos for the first trip. We are looking at just one because we don't want to wait, and thinking if we want another we might just go to
Ukraine in a year or two for an older child. Right now, we are
looking at probably a little girl, age 1-3, from an orphanage in Tomsk, in Western Siberia. Because me and my wife are both in our later 40's - we really don't want to wait (especially with getting an infant), and we have our hearts set on this.

So, I would say Commonwealth is a good agency, but, if you are looking at wanting more than 1 right now, ask them or other agencies how long it might be. They all probably would make you wait longer. I don't know much about other agencies, but, (from others who have used Commonwealth) I really get the feeling that they have good contacts is Russia. Of course, other agencies might have good contacts as well.

Personally, however, I would shy away form using an agency without its own folks in Russia. Non-accredited in Russia U.S. agencies typically use AMREX - that is where US agencies have brokered for facilitators in Russia with this independent agency, AMREX, which can operate in Russia. People do ok with it and perhaps it can even sometimes be better, but, I would fear its not really your agency then if something goes wrong while you are over there.

Anyway, good luck with it all!

Joe and Jackie