[mamae]

Se hosted the kids we hope to adopt. We thought we had everything ready, were going to beat the odds (due to children being 10+yo) and bring them home before Christmas.

I am sooooo sorry to say that today we heard that we need to re-do some documents, have everything re-submitted to immigration and pretty much there are almost no chances of having kids home for Christmas.

Our agency was very nice and said they could help us bring kids on their next hosting, so we would not feel so bad. But we can't afford $6000 in hosting fees (that will need to be used for the adoption).

We thought of traveling over there over Christmas but it is almost as expensive. So.... I wonder on what to do

I feel awful that my kids will be stuck in an orphanage for Christmas, while their best friends (who came with them for hosting) are getting adopted next month for the family who hosted (they were paperwork ready).

They will probably think I am an awful mom, or don't love them as the other family love their friends...

Any good ideas to make Christmas better?

[tigger44]

I can tell you that Christmas in a Russian orphanage is almost non existant. I am sure that some kids in some orphanages in some regions may get gifts, or celebrations, but in an insitution the kids must share everything, so christmas is almost like any other day for the children. I don't think the children will consider this yet another christmas without a family. Even sending them personal gifts may be futile, as they would probably be added to the general group of toys for all the children.

But, I know for YOU it is torture to think of the holidays coming and going without your children home. It's way more difficult for the adoptive parents than for the children, at the holidays. The best thing I can recommend is that you get as much done as possible these last few months of the year, house projects, personal projects, anything that you probably won't have time for after the children are home.

And, there's absolutely no reason why you can't have "christmas" with the kids when they do come home. Our adoption was taking place during the christmas season, and even though DD wouldn't come home for SEVERAL more excruciating months, I did buy her a "baby's 1st Christmas" ornament. It will be something special for her when she's older, and it helped me to feel like she was already part of our family for that christmas.

[beckyww]

Do something nice for another child who has even less.
Operation Christmas Child

Becky
This Reminds Me

[votemom]

becky you read my mind.

my heart goes out to you - oh you have no idea how my heart understands.

i'm so incredibly sorry for this turn of events... but i do know the broken road well.

THE VERY VERY BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD YOU CAN DO, NOT ON THE GOOD YOU CAN'T.

sit down and figure out what you can do for your kids... and then do it. if it's writing letters and getting them translated and figuring out how to mail them to their orphanage, then do it. if it's arranging for a long-distance phone call with a translator on hand so you can talk to them, then do it.

but then.....

put your energy into doing something significant and meaningful and important for someone else who is hurting. it really will help fill up the cracks of your broken heart as you wait and wonder and hope.

there are a zillion possibilities.... choose the "cause" that most moves you, and jump in and make a big splash!

believe me, i know what i'm talking about!

and believe me when i say that one day, this will all be just a closed chapter in the book of your journey. an important chapter, but one that is history and one that doesn't hurt so much anymore.

i look forward to hearing that your precious kids are home. and it will be just as it should.

HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!

[Jessi_76]

I don't have any real advice; I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. It will surely be a tough time. Saying that there will be so many more to come won't offer much solace during your time of pain, but it is the truth. You are giving these children a miraculous gift, and they are giving you an even greater gift. That gift alone, should make Christmas a joyous time. Try to focus on the positive through your heartache. They will be home before you know it. Many of God's blessings.