[Russiaknight]

We've been home with our 2nd son (he's 17 mo now) for about 2.5 months and things are going really, really well. We've been doing a lot of attachment parenting, staying home, bottle feeding, rocking, carrying in ergo, etc. He's generally a happy kid and seeks us out for play and attention. He has recently started to react positively when he sees papa at the end of the day but doesn't seem bothered or react at all when either DH or I leave (I've left occasionally for 'dates' with my other son, rare errands, etc, all under 2 hrs).

What is folks' experience with separation anxiety in PI kids? Our first son was anxiously attached at first and would get upset when either of us (especially me) left for any reason. Not that I want our 2nd son to be upset but more wondering if some kids just don't go through this.

Thanks!

[Kasey]

My youngest came home at 13 months. He attached first to DH before me. I would say about 3months home he would get upset when DH left. 6 months home he was fine with DH leaving but would be upset if I left. around 3-4 months home he the anxious issues of following us around the house, but that didn't last long and it was more if his brother wasn't around. I feel strongly that having another child in the house really helped him alot. I think it would have been a whole lot harder on him not having his big brother.
Our oldest came home at 5 1/2 months of age, so I think we mainly experienced the typical sep anxiety at the typical ages, it was really nothing out of the ordinary.

[MamaChinch]

My dd came home at 18 mos and I was home for three months before going back to work. She rarely expressed any anxiety when I left at all. When I went back to work she would take my mom's hand ( my mom watches her for me) and walk her her over to the stairs and point up stairs and say "Mama". Guess she thought I was upstairs. But she was always excited to see me when I got home!

Possibliy it's a good sign that he trusts you will return. My dd attached beautiful, so if he's doing very well, maybe he is secure enough you are coming back?

[votemom]

we brought home two toddlers at once (same age), and they both needed to form healthy attachments to us from different ends of the attachment spectrum. one had very insecure attachment, and the other didn't show any preference at all who was home taking care of her (we have 3 older siblings as well as me and my husband at home).

it was interesting to watch both of them move from opposite ends of the spectrum toward healthy attachment over the past two years that they have been home with us. it's a slow process. keep doing what you are doing. don't give up - it IS worth it and pays HUGE dividends in the end. think big picture: their emotional health is much more precious in the end than the hassle and inconveniences that can come with attachment parenting for a couple of years.

you may find, however, as i did, that when you keep doing it long term, those hassles and inconveniences become wonderful parts of your relationship and blessings in your family life.

it's so early - sounds like you are off to a a great start. congrats on your new son!

[Mommy K]

This is a great question.'What helped us alot is to read up on developmental stages of babies and chldren, and try to sort out what is typical from not.
For us, we decided to err on assuming that attachment issues were there & use attachment parenting anyway regardless, because as others have said-it can't hurt not one bit, and further will make a healthy attachment stronger.