[cac_li]

I am here in Russia waiting out the 10 days and woke up the day after court with a fever. I had to cancel the trip to the orphanage, which was devastating as now I cannot go back until next Wednesday. I am feeling physically better now but am just exhausted from this ENTIRE process. I cannot believe how rough it has been to go through--between the waits, frustrations, insensitive comments from peoople etc( one of my friends just emailed today to say that people were thinking of coming to my house rather than the airport when I got home b/c they were concerned about Friday night traffic home from airport--I told them definitely not--when I finally get home, I am sure we will be ready for bed--unbelievable!). I know I will be overjoyed when I can FINALLY pick up the baby, but right now I have just had it.

I don't mean to scare anyone in the process--I am just exhausted and venting. Did anyone else feel this way?

[MissDaisyofTexas]

Hang in there! This entire process is long and difficult. I spent part of trip #2 by myself and I got sick and had to visit a doctor in Russia, totally stressed out. You will make it through! It's only temporary and then you'll be home.

[GCS]

Its a remarkably stressful time and it is not uncommon to come home sick. I think its the travel, the stress and the time changes.

Hang in there. Soon it will all be a distant memory.

[waiter]

Yep- you are not alone. For me it was getting sick in Moscow after I had my child. Not fun but some how we all seem to make it through. With regards to your friends e-mail. E-mail back and matter of factly say what you want/need from them and when. It is time to think about you and your child and the people back home "don't get" it and probably never will sadly.

[k8c]

Sorry you're not feeling well--and that people at home are being, well, selfish.

I would make sure they know that you appreciate that people want to see you and support you, but completely understand if the traffic is too bad for them to make it to the airport. AND let them know that if they can't meet you at the airport you'll be happy to see them in a few weeks (or months) after you have both settled in, caught up on sleep, and started figuring out how to be a family.

[TweetyMom04]

Hang in there, it will all be fine, sooner than you think.
Get rest now and take care.

Ditto here. All the stress, stressed the body to the max. It lasted until we got back to HOTlanta, a.k.a., Atlanta.

I agree with k8c.

[beckyww]

You'd have to be exhausted. You've just run an emotional, physical, mental, financial and spiritual marathon. Your friends likely have not.

Your friends mean well. You know they do. So reply in love. Kate's answer it on the head.

BTW - The morning after we came home after 27 hours of travel, some friends from our old church in Houston were in town. They had called the day before and my adult niece - who was staying with our bios - told them yes, we were due back, but she knew we would be exhausted and while she knew we would love to see them some other time, a visit on Friday was simply not possible. They said they had a gift for Julia, to which my niece said, "Oh, Becky will be delighted. But please do leave it on the porch. I know they want to keep Julia secluded for awhile, and I also know they'll just be exhausted." Instead, our well-meaning friends rang the doorbell at 11 a.m., waking me and my niece's sleeping toddler, and totally infurating my niece. She accepted their gift and said, "I'm sorry. My daughter is crying now, and I'm just hoping we've not woken Becky. Let me give this to Becky later." And shut the door. They were very cool to us for a long time, and I"m sorry about that - but they were told. I was nauseated, I was so tired, as was Keith, and Julia was in wonder and fear. Not the time for company. It's time for quiet and home and getting adjusted. If others don't understand that - that's a shame.

Becky
This Reminds Me

[amanda_p]

Oh boy does everyone know what you mean. I got sick too while in country. It is exhausting...mentally and physically. Just try to take care of yourself. Get some rest because once you get your baby you wont get any

[cac_li]

Thank you everyone for your support and understanding. This is such an exhausting, emotional process and have not felt understood by people who have not gone through it. I always feel better after people here post b/c I really know you understand b/c you have been through it. I am feeling better and have only 3 days to my next visit and 5 to the big day--I cannot wait and cannot wait even more to be home!

On another note--I am in amazement of those of you who have gone through this more than once--what a testament to your strength!

[cindyc]

Glad you're feeling better! I, too, felt like crap during one of our visits - nauseous the whole time, mostly from stress, dehydration, etc., etc.

I also agree with previous posters on the friends and relatives thing. Those who haven't been through this don't have a clue. But maybe think of this as an unintended gift from them???? We only had my parents to meet us at the airport, and that was plenty. After a 24 hour trip, we pretty much went home and crashed.

Hope the rest of the trip is better!!
Cindyc

[N.Gwinn]

And I too was sick. I was so sick by the time that we got home, that I ended up in urgent care the next day, and I think that my husband was dangerously close to taking me to the emergency room. My body did not react well at all to the flight home.

So, take care. Know that we all survived. Know that you will, too.

And I agree with Becky. Your friends mean well. They just don't get it. So thank them and tell them that you would love to see them AFTER the jet lag has worn off.

[momm2be]

Hang in there... This seems to be a common occurence. I think your body knows the immediate threat (court) is over and relaxes and 'lets the ills out'. Hopefully you are feeling better already.

This goes down the line of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And strength you will need when you arrive home with the toddler.

Tell your friends, you appreciate their thoughts but remind them you will have been traveling for 24 hours. If family must come by, give out assignements -- ie can you pick up some staples from the grocery store, somone else grab a pizza as you will be hungry, it would be nice if someone could stock you up on immediate baby needs etc. Make use of the good intentions.

[angelkisses0102]

(((Hugs))) Hang in there!

[Max'sMommy]

I am so sorry you feel terrible! We kept saying It only makes us stronger! I know we were homesick too waiting out those days. We did this twice so I completely understand what you are going through! I think I can handle anything now! Hang in there, thank your friends for their kind thoughts but tell them you are on a complete different time zone and need time to recover from jet lag!




2004 Beautiful Bright Boy
2008 Sweet Sassy Girl

Different regions.... Great Kids!

[SingleMama2B]

Hang in there..... I'm coming into this conversation in the 9th inning, and glad that you are already feeling abit better! It is hard, but when you do arrive home... you have this sense of I can handle anything... at least for the first week =)

I did my trips by myself (single Mom), and I too got sick (on the orphanage food plus a touch of the flu) - that was embarassing while trying to make a good impression! All of the older kids thought it was really funny. Though, I did not miss a visiting day, I was green in the car 4 hours each way to the orphanage. I could not wait to get back to the hotel. On the PLUS side, when we finally got home I was 99% and "A" then got sick!! I could take care of her and be glad to be back home.

Hang in there...... We all have been through simular feelings, etc. It is something that unless someone has been through, truly cannot understand 100%.

AND..... Just be truthful with your friends/family. If the airport is not good for them.... that is fine, but you need time once you get home. You set the schedule and availability!