[tigger44]

I am going to start the re-adoption process here soon and I am giving serious thought to using the opportunity to change dd's name from the name we gave her at adoption, back to her birth name. It is different only by one letter, which does change the pronunciation. She is almost five years old and will begin kindy in July (year round schedule). It seems like the best time to make the change as far as school goes. I've asked her what she thinks about being called by her birth name, and she agrees to it. Just wanted to get some opinions from others. The biggest reason I want to do it is to give her back her birth name, so she has an "original" thing from her birth country. She's starting to ask more and express more about her adoption, so I guess I think into the future when she is a teenager and an adult, and wonder if she'd appreciate me doing this for her. I dunno. Any feedback would be appreciated.

[momraine]

I think if you and she both agree it's a great idea.

[votemom]

at age 5 she obviously doesn't understand the decision being made.

if in your heart you really want to change it, i would follow your heart.

and you are right - this is a good time to do it.

[k8c]

It sounds like something that you want to do. Since your daughter is agreeable, I'd do it. (I know many five-year-olds who would be vocal in not changing their names.)

If it's only changing one letter, then I would imagine that she'd be able to decide later what she'd like to be called regardless of what it says on her official documents. Nicknames abound!

I agree that the timing is good.

Best!

[amyfk]

I personally think I would check with an adoption professional on this one. Right now your dd may be ok with the idea but maybe she won't be later on.
I understand that as some kids get older(schoolage) they dont want everyone to know they are adopted. Also as they reach adulthood some are more comfortable with the fact that they are adopted, and want to do a birthparent search. Others havent come to terms with it and want to move on.
Therefore because there are so many different outcomes I think it may be best to ask someone who works in the field and see what they have gotten as a followup from their former clients.
Best,
Amy K, NJ

[TweetyMom04]

We chose our Sons First Names. We kept their Russian Names, which became our Sons Middle Names. Have you considered something similar? Let your DD pick out a First Name and her RU name becomes her middle name?

I also agree that nicknames abound. What she chooses to call herself can vary as she gets older. Here are a few examples:
-Our Niece rarely is called by her given legal name. The Family and herself call herself by at least 5 different nicknames. We just stick with her original given name, unless she tells us to call her 'x.'
-I worked with a Woman whose name written, was Karen. She prounced it Karon (K-ron).
-Our Sons have formal First Names, Michael and Stephen. We call them Mike and Steve. (These are not their real names). One Son has a Formal First Name that can produce 2 other nicknames, in addition to the one we call him.
-Think about how many people you went to school or work with that really go by their first name and not known by a nickname or their middle name.
-My DH was nicknamed in College (because he looked like a WWF Wrestler) and it stuck for the 4 yrs. Many people he went to school with only knew him by his nickname, never knew his 'real' name until a college reunion years later. Ironically, I can call him 'real' name in a crowd and he won't hear me. I call his 'nickname' from College days and he gives himself whiplash.

I agree this would be the time to do it. But this is an age that Children like and dislike everything on a daily sometimes hourly basis. They like PBJ one day and dislike the next. Cats are less picky than our Children, sometimes.

I would 'sleep' on it for awhile. Call her by her RU name, see how it fits for a few weeks. Switch back to her current name for a few weeks.

Good Luck in your decision

[beckyww]

Kids that age can't make judgments on stuff like this. You have to decide this. And I'd take a deep breath before changing again, because you sure don't want an identity "question" by Homeland Security 20 years from now. You'd have to go by-the-book and change everything including Social Security, immunization records, recognition of foreign birth certificate, etc.

Good luck - big decision -

Becky
This Reminds Me

[angelkisses0102]

One of my biggest regrets with our adoptions is not leaving our kids birth names as their first names. In our case we know, for certain, that their first moms named them. In DD's case we kept her birthname as her middle name...but for DS...we left nothing. (Although I did find out that DS's first name -a common Russian name-was his birth grandfather's name.)

So, I say go for it...

[ChelleBrewer]

As an adult that had a name spelling and pronunciation change at 8, I can tell you my experiences. I grew up without my parents. I was an 'oopsie' as it were and by the time I was born, I was raised by the German landlords on a German pig farm with a German nannie and attending a German kindergarten. I spent maybe 2 hours a week with my parents, due to our schedules. I became very comfortable with the German culture and language to the point that I didn't speak much English. Maybe hello or goodbye...

When we came back to the States, I adopted the Anglo "Shelly" and started writing it on my papers. In an effort to preserve the German culture in which I spent so many years, my mother was adament that my nickname be "Chelle" and pronounced similarly to that of two other girls we knew in Laufersweiler. I TOTALLY embraced it. I actually remember feeling closer to mom because I realized that she cared to honor my 'adoptive' roots. So, you were mentioning a one letter, pronunciation difference. Although not exactly the same, from my standpoint, I see that you are trying to embrace your daughter's culture. It's like 'Katya' and 'Katie'. It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it is important. I also like that you are talking to her about it. Kudos to you. Let us know what you decide.

[Jen_in_OH]

My 2 cents for what it is worth:

My daughter's Russian name was Lia (pronounced Leah). We decided to keep that name as well as the spelling. Yes, sometimes people struggle with pronouncing it, but we are happy with our decision.
Our daughter is 8 years old now and we don't regret keeping the spelling. Her name is part of her history, and we know so little that I'm glad we kept the name and spelling.
Also, I think it has helped her in knowing that her birthmother must of liked that name and that we also like that name. I think in some ways it connects all of us. Not sure if this makes sense or is helpful to you, but wanted to share it none-the-less.

Jen

[tigger44]

Thanks to all for your input. It has been VERY helpful. I have wholeheartedly decided to change her name back to Natalia. Isn't that a beautiful name?! I often regretted that we didn't keep it to begin with, and seems God has urged me, and the opportunity is here to do this for my little Russian girly.

Thank you!

[momm2be]

Originally Posted by tigger44

name back to Natalia. Isn't that a beautiful name?

Yes it is!!

My princess is also Nataliya.

[Shark01]

Although we changed our daughter's names (strangely enough, they were BOTH named Dasha at birth) because some unknown nurse or doctor had to put something on a birth cert, we wanted to keep their Russian heritage.

When we met the Russian ambassador last Christmas, he was very pleased we did......and doubly so since his daughter shared one of the names.....

Katerina (called Katie)
Svetlana (called Lana)