[nhook]

Let me preface this by saying that my son is fed very well. He eats 3 big plates full of meat, veggies and fruit, along with some carbs like bread or potatoes. He gets regular snacks like bananas, apples, carrots, crackers and popcorn. I don't give him a lot of refined sugars and artificial foods because they are unhealthy but he does eat some. He ate 3 giant smores last night after supper!

When we brought him home at age 3, he was way below the charts and now at age 7, he is definitely on the charts but still skinnier than most children.

I find that from time to time, other parents comment on how thin my child is and "What do I feed him?". I don't know how to respond to that because I feel defensive about it. I just tell them that he eats all the time.

I do not want to start him drinking pop and eating chips and candy all day just to gain weight. That would set him up for unhealthy habits later in life.

How do you handle those comments and will he ever catch up to his peers?

[angelkisses0102]

Both my kids fall into the skinny category...DS is more super skinny...especially compared to many of their peers who are either overweight or outright obese. Our doctor tells me to remember that actually my kids are a very healthy weight...it's the other kids who are not. Since there is an 'epidemic' (her words) of obesity...most kids (and their parents) now view being overweight as the norm...and truly obese people as simply being overweight. And trust me on this one...I will share her point of view as my own these days.

My kids also eat healthy...very healthy and we do feed them a higher fat/calorie/protein diet than many of their peers because they need it. We always have healthy snacks (and so not so healthy...but not awful snacks) available for them. Food issues are common in many PI kids and we have worked very hard to allow the kids ready access while teaching healthy eating habits. Every day they eat fruit and veggies...most kids don't...sadly. Neither of them really eat red meat...but lots of chicken and other protein sources. And we also go to McD's once a week (sometimes twice) but I think that helps with the kids good eating habits. Nothing is truly off limits...but they like and feel better eating healthy foods.

I think it's sad that my niece...who will be two in July weighs almost as much as my son who will be six two days after her birthday. (She's fat, really...way off the charts at something like 32 pounds...DS is on the other end of the charts at 38'ish pounds.) It's also sad that I was the one who just last month introduced her and her twin to blueberries. I offered a bunch of fruit options as a snack since SIL was fine with them munching away on chips and junk. I just don't get it...but that's another thread. LOL!

I don't know if this helped or not...but you are not alone. I am not one to really care what other people think when they ask a question like 'What do you feed them?' Often my first response (typically in my head) is 'well obviously not what you are feeding your child!' But I love the come back...'Why do ask?' Puts the ball back in their court...KWIM?!

[kakuehl]

My question would be, what does the pediatrician say? Are the kids on the charts? Are they healthy? Then don't worry. Continue feeding them the way you do. They will be much better off as they get older if they haven't gained the habit of eating lots of sugar and fat.

[votemom]

how rude!

are they asking you in all seriousness, or is it just an off-hand casual remark with a chuckle?

if someone is seriously asking, i would simply say "i feed him food" and change the subject.

good grief. some people have too much time on their hands!

[momraine]

I would say something about how they are blessed with a fast matabolism. Just a light hearted comment and then change the subject.

[devildogwife]

It is hard. My 19-month-old son weighs the same as a friends 8-month-old granddaughter. People's shock at his weight is discouraging to me. He has only been on the growth chart twice in his life. We do everything we can (he's tube fed with 24 cal formula), but my son's heart just has to work so hard, he's NOT going to easily gain weight. I'm thrilled when we go in for appointments and he hasn't lost weight. Like Karen said, you're not alone. And I agree, you don't want to feed your child junk and set up bad habits for later in life.

[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by momraine

I would say something about how they are blessed with a fast matabolism. Just a light hearted comment and then change the subject.

Good come back... (personally, my metabolism is nonexistent!)

[JustPeachy]

I was a naturally very thin child/young adult (wish I could say the same now in mid life!). I ate anything and everything! I used to get all sorts of comments, it was just never ending.

If people are asking "what do you feed him?" I'd either say "food" and change the subject, as another poster suggested, or knowing me, I'd get sarcastic and say "just bread and water every other day when we let him out of the basement."

[dlhall]

My dd is in the same category. She'll be 8 in July, and we cheered last week when we weighed her and she hit 45 pounds.

I'm not one to take offense at someone's comment about how tiny she is; I just acknowledge it and say, "yep, she is tiny and she hates it" and then go on to something else. I don't think anyone is trying to be mean or anything.

Surprisingly enough, I don't think I've ever gotten the question of "what do I feed her?" If I did, I'd probably just say food and leave it at that.

Liz

[nhook]

I am just hoping that he will eventually catch up to his peers in terms of weight.

[angelkisses0102]

Originally Posted by nhook

I am just hoping that he will eventually catch up to his peers in terms of weight.

I don't know how to ask this without it sounding 'off' but why? If he is healthy and eating healthy why worry about him being the same as his peers?

My DD is tiny, tiny, tiny...she is a full head shorter than the next shortest child in her class. She is going into third grade and still rides in a full back booster seat and will for the foreseeable future. She is barely on the charts for height and weight...she is going to 8 soon and weighs 47.5 pounds.

But she is a very confident child...we have worked with her and she understands 'someone' has to be the biggest or the smallest...the thinnest or the heaviest, etc. Every child is unique and still perfect. We also bring our faith in here and tell her that God made her just the way she is and we wouldn't want her any other way.

Same thing with DS...even with all his 'struggles' including being tall and very thin...he knows he is perfect in our eyes and that all kids are different.

I hope my question is not taken the wrong way...kids are all different...as long as they are as happy and healthy as possible...well that's all that really matters.

Do I think all of 'our' kids eventually 'catch up'...nope but that isn't always a bad thing in our 'super-sized society.' JMHO.

[Pinkie]

Antonina is very thin and although I don't get asked directly what I feed her on, parents are often shocked at what she can pack away food wise in one day! It doesn't bother me when they comment on what she has eaten and the fact that they can't believe how thin she is considering what she eats. It does bother Antonina, she knows she isn't the tallest but to be honest in her class she isn't the smallest so I got off lightly with that one!! She weighs about 56 Ibs and she turned 9 years old today. My concern is putting her mind at ease and not what others say or think.

[jenbmom]

Ditto what Kathy said.....

Our son is in the 50th percentile for height (not that it matters, but he is bio. but I thought regardless of kids being adopted or not, there are all types of sizes out there, no matter their background).

I was surprised that he was in the 50th percentile, b/c to us, esp compared to other kids, he seems so tall and thin. Our pediatrician said to us, "well, that is what a healthy 7-year-old should look like...you have been programmed to some degree to think that he's thin, when in fact he's perfectly proportioned."

Honestly, if someone were to comment about my being skinny, I'd be thrilled.... hee hee

[momraine]

I have a child with an actual eating disorder, but I don't share details with just every commenter. Only those who need to know, like a teachers aid who will have him every day. Mostly, I just make a funny comment and then change the subject.

[proudmommyof 2]

My Tommy is all bones and ribs. He's almost 5 1/2, is above average for height, and weighs 32 pounds. Yet you wouldn't believe all of the food he eats. He eats more than Dennis, who at 8 1/2 weighs 55 lbs. Dennis was a very tiny baby and toddler, and is on the smaller side for his age. I used to count his calories and could tell you at any given point of the day how many he'd eaten and how many more I wanted to get him to eat. What I realized was that he'll eat when his body tells him to. All three are healthy.

When I get comments, I blow them off.
As far as people asking, "What do you feed him? "
A good answer would be, "The same things I feed myself. If only we carried our weight the same way!" And let it go.....