[comit1]

Hi everyone,
I hope this is not a stupid question. But I tried doing some research and could not find much on this.

I was talking to my consultant through my agency in-regards to a referral. And she asked about the ethnicity I would accept. I said caucasian. She asked me if I would consider a gypsy? I said No. But what exactly is this ethnicity?? I could not find much on it.

Does anyone know anything about this???
Thankyou much
Sara

[sak9645]

It is generally not considered appropriate to use the term, "Gypsy." It is considered derogatory. It is also factually inaccurate, as it derives from the word "Egypt", because people used to think that this cultural/ethnic group originated in Egypt.

Gypsies are more correctly called Roma (a noun) or Romani (an adjective). They are a cultural group of Caucasians, probably of Indian origin, found mostly in Europe, although some live elsewhere, including the U.S. They tend to have tan skin and dark eyes and hair. The Roma tend to take on the religions of the areas where they live, although they may mix those religions with their own historical spriritual practices. In much of the world, the Roma are Catholic or Protestant, though they are sometimes Muslim.

The Romani people have always been subject to a great deal of prejudice and discrimination around the world, but especially in Europe, for many reasons. The Romani people were targeted by Hitler for extermination, just as he targeted the Jews, and thousands met their death in concentration camps.

The Roma are often semi-nomadic, not living in any one place for too long, and that is "strange" to some people, who form prejudices against them, as a result.

There has long been a stereotype of the Romani people as thieves and petty criminals. This may have arisen, in part, because it was easy to assign responsibility for objects that were missing to people who had since left town -- namely, the semi-nomadic Roma. The Roma have also tended to be poor and to live on the margins of society, and some thefts and petty crimes may have occurred because of poverty and marginalization. Unfortunately, the term, "gyp", which derives from "Gypsy", has come to mean "cheat" or "swindle" -- again, part of the stereotype of Gypsies as criminals.

Further, the Romani culture is often at odds with Western cultures, which makes them easy targets for persecution. As an example, it is very common for the Roma to marry off their children at very young ages, sometimes at ages considered illegal in their countries of residence. The Roma place a high value on the virginity of unmarried women, and also on married women who bear a lot of children, which is why early marriage is preferred. Many people don't like the way the Roma treat women, even apart from the marriage issue, because the culture is very much male-dominated.

Because of bias against the Roma, Romani children who become available for adoption are rarely adopted domestically in countries like Russia. As a result, they are often available for international adoption. If you see a gorgeous child with big dark eyes, black hair, and a nice tan on an Eastern European adoption photolisting, there is a good chance that the child is of Romani heritage.

Many, many Americans have adopted Romani children and are very happy that they did so. They can be as beautiful, healthy, intelligent, and loving as any other children.

However, prospective parents should remember that, although they are definitely Caucasians, the Roma may have darker skin, eyes, and hair than some White Americans. If they are not comfortable with a child who looks a bit different from them, they may not want to consider adoption of a Romani child. There is an adoption course called "Conspicuous Families" that is designed to help families decide whether they should consider a child who may not look like the rest of the household. Of course, a family where many of the members have dark hair and eyes, and an olive complexion, may find that a Romani child won't look all that different.

Also, because there is prejudice against the Roma, some prospective parents may worry that their relatives and neighbors will not accept a Romani child. There have been many instances where prospective adoptive or adoptive parents have encountered relatives, friends, and neighbors who said hurtful things like, "Those Gypsies will grow up to be thieves," even though there is no genetic basis for stealing, and a child who is brought up to believe that stealing is wrong is unlikely to commit theft.

I hope this is helpful.

Sharon

[amyfk]

Hi,

I agree with what Sak before me had written. I am an adoptive mom of a Russian-born girl, aged three. I dont know much about her birthparents but her birthmom is supposedly Roma and i dont know anything about her birthfather.
My child has olive skin and in the wintertime can pass for caucausian but in the summertime she is bronzed colored. She has medium brown hair and big brown eyes, on which she gets complimented a lot.
With the exception of occasional childhood antics, she is a very good kid and she is very intelligent. I dont suspect any FAS/FAE etc. At the babyhome the orphanage doctor said that it's not normally in Roma culture for the women to drink alcohol.
Of course, you have to feel comfortable with raising a child who may not look likeyou. My daughter often passes for my biologica child. I get this statement a lot. I have black hair and brown eyes. I am Jewish. Whether you feel comfortable or not is something you have to think about.
A friend of mine adopted a son from Russia and supposedly he is of Roma extract too. While he has the bronzed skin, his hair is dirty blonde and he has hazel eyes. I dont know if he is totally Roma.
I am assuming that many Roma children are put up for adoption in EE because there is a stigma against the Roma. Due to this I think many live in isolated communities and many are unemployed. That is supposedly the case with Joanna's birthmom.
I own a book called " We are the Romani People" by Ian F. Hancock. I felt the book was informative and I got quite a bit out of it. The one thing I felt though was that the literature was somewhat of a scholarly nature and not always an easy read for the layperson. It is a good start however.
IF you have any other questions feel free to PM me.
I wish you best of luck in whatever direction you choose for your future family.
Amy K, NJ

[momraine]

My son is also Romani, though he came from Poland not Russia. We live in Texas and many people mistake him for being hispanic. He is in a wheelchair so he would get stares no matter what he looked like, however, no one ever seems to blink when they realize that he and my blond daughter are siblings. I am also blond, and my bio kids have darker hair than I do, my oldest's is dark red and my second son has brown, so my kids hair is a rainbow. Both of my adopted kids skin get very bronzed in summer, I was surprised my Russian daughter gets so tan. She is pale in summer, my son is tan all year round, my bio kids just stay pale all the time, LOL. I too have looked for books to help my son learn about his heritage, as I want him to be proud of all the parts of his heritage. My children have books about Poland and Russia already.

[GCS]

We know a few children of Roma descent. They could be my Italian nieces or my Greek girlfriend's kids. Big brown eyes and an olive complexion.

There's a link I'm looking for for the many different faces of EE adoption. I thought it was in Karen's adoption links but now I can't find it. If anyone knows and can post it, I am sure that would be helpful here.

[comit1]

Wow, thankyou all for your responses.

All that matters to me is a happy healthy child. I dont care about eye color or hair color or color of skin. At one point, I was also adopting from Guatamala until I was told to switch countries because Guatamala was closing its doors. My nephews have the very dark color skin and big black eyes. They were adopted from Guatamala and they are beautiful.

So once again, thankyou for your feedback.

Sara

[RussianTutor]

Sara,

Previous posts have been very informative. As a native Russian from Saint Petersburg I can confirm great prejudice about Roma. There are many of them in my home city and as we say "there is no smoke without fire". They do commit crimes, steal and each time one sees them on the street they should stay away. However, it is not in their genetics to steal or commit crimes and it will depend on the upbringing parents will give to their child, whether he/she is Roma or not. Best of luck!

Tamara

[mcanvasback]

I am going to chime in and add, though my child is not Roma, (she is Asian) I would be proud if she were. Amy's daughter and the other kids of Roma descent that I have known or known of, are healthy and smart, not to mention absolutely beautiful!

[momraine]

I have to say my little Romani child is absolutly adorable (he has the longest eyelashes) and is very smart. Of course I may be a little prejudiced, LOL, I think all my kids are awesome.

[amyfk]

The only thing I get is when I tell folks my child is adopted from Russia, I sometimes get the answer" Your child doesnt look Russian." But then again I dont know what "Russian" looks like. Is it blonde hair and blue eyes? That's what Im assuming.
I got this answer from a lady yesterday. She said she was from Moscow. Most recently she was from Brooklyn. I was surprised she was talking about my child, because she is olive toned and I thought she was Latino. There are also a lot of Latinos in Brooklyn so I would have never taken her for a Russian. Then she went on as I usually get, "your child doesnt look adopted, she looks like, you."
If you adopt a Roma kid, you have to be prepared for this comment. I just said my child is probably a mix of things and I dont know what she is. I said there are many ethnic groups in Russia.
Amy K, NJ

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

My daughters are both Roma. They are very intellgent and wonderful kids. My oldest DD is a talented violinst. I have attached pictures so you can see what they look like. In included the one picture of my DD as a flower girl so you can see the skin color difference compared to my nephew and his wife who are both very fair.

Truthfully, Roma children seem to be drop dead beautiful. You may want to aviod them just due to all the issues you will have when they turn 16!

Kay

[comit1]

KAY,

the girls are so beautiful. Well, I am happy to say that my husband and I last night called the agency and wanted to add to our request that we would be so happy to adopt a roma child if available.

So they are going to let the referral dapartment know!!

I cant wait!!


SARA

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

Good luck and prayers for a speedy referral and homecoming!

Kay

[momraine]

Here are photos of my Russian daughter (brown eyes and blond hair) and my Polish Roma son.

[amyfk]

Kay and Momraine I want to let you know that you have beautiful kids! Sara, I want to wish you luck on your adoption journey! Keep us posted down the road. I think it will be easier as more folks adopt Roma kids on these forums so we can exchange ideas on how to instill culture in them, fight off prejudice and preconceived stereotypes, etc. I am very proud of my dd, but I have received general disparaging remarks against gypsies(Roma) and the typical, "your child doenst look Russian" and I find it easier to bounce this off of others who have had the same experiences as me.
Best of luck on your process Sara.
Amy K, NJ