[marcy2006]

Hi All,

We are leaving for our 1st trip to Rostov on Jan 17th to meet a blind referral of a child under fours years of age...Does anyone have any tips or suggestions, websites, info. they may pass on?
It would be greatly appreciated!

Melissa

[sak9645]

Spend a lot of time reading a good child development book, so you will know what a "typical" four year old is like, and be able to assess how delayed the child is that you are considering.

Also, talk to an adoption medicine specialist and get a list of questions to ask and things to observe. He/she may also suggest that you call him/her from Russia if you have questions.

Sharon

[beckyww]

Along these lines....on our first trip in 2/06, we took lots of different types of toys when we met Julia, who had just turned six years old. Crayons w/blank paper and coloring books; toy cars; Etch-A-Sketch; balls; dolls, etc. We wanted to gauge fine and gross motor skills. We left it all, of course.

Also take clothes in various sizes so you can figure out what to bring for him to wear home on trip #2. And a small notebook to trace his feet for shoes - we bought the size we thought would fit, plus one bigger and one smaller.

Read up on FAS and FAE, and have your IA doctor engaged before you travel. Take the measurements and photos they tell you to take, and upload them ASAP for evaluation.

Sleep with a blanket for a couple of weeks before you go, then ziploc it and leave it with the child.

Good luck! Let us hear from you!

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[momm2be]

Pack a variety of toys to play with - you may be placed in a room to interact with him/her without any toys.

Good things to bring
- paper and crayons
- balloons
- cars
- small ball
- stacking cups
- something musical
- stuffed animal that makes noise (great ones at Babies R us in the stroller accesorie department - about 5 bucks for a cow that moos)


Trace their foot, their hands, take a tape measure and get their height, head circumference.

Expect the child to be afraid of you and not want to make contact. You need to win him/her over - not vice versa. Get on your hands and knees so you are eye -eye and slowly introduce a toy etc until he/she is willing to play. Don't get upset if the child doesn't do much on your first visit - you are a stranger and they should be wary of you. Each visit should get better.

[Kasey]

Adding to what others have said, bring some little snacks like cheerios or crackers (ask permission though before feeding them).
Write down all the questions you want to ask the director or physician at the baby home ahead of time, so you are prepared, that way you don't have to think on your feet when you are emotional.
Our IA doc sent us with a chart regarding development per age group, it should normal, acceptable delays and red flags.
Take it slow and don't expect alot out of the child, we saw a big difference the 3rd visit from the 1st one.

[momraine]

Snacks were what really helped my daughter. Toys worked better with my son. Also anything you are planning to leave if you want them to keep it, buy a duplicate. We did this with some toys and a blanket and a photo album. In one adoption the child still had everything later, in another nothing was kept from visit to the next.

[Bcelli]

Keeping in mind that you likely may not have a number of visits on this trip, eye-level eye contact is very important. Smiles, soft voices - especially from Dad (if there is a dad - sorry don't know your specifics) - but you may have to intiate physical contact in your first visit rather than wait. These kids are used to adults telling them what to do and when so it might not be too imposing to initiate physical contact, touching or taking a hand (for an older toddler), stroking hair, etc, and let it build slowly. Always ask permission before giving any food because you don't know their schedule of any posssible food allergies. Enjoy every minute.

[Military Momma]

I would definitely take in all the suggestions above. BUT I would also put in, enjoy yourselves. Spend quality time with your referral. We only got two hours in the AM and 2 hours in the PM for the five days that we were in his region. We did a lot of physical contact, ie. hugs, kisses, soft voices, cooing, and cuddling. I think this helped so when we came back for the second visit, I did the same thing and he sort of "remembered" my touch.

Granted, this is just my observation but take it for what it is. My experience.

Hope this helps,

[coachmom]

Don't expect them to become all snuggly and want you to hold them. I knew what to expect but still had a hard time as I am a very snuggly mom. He attached very well to my husband, which really surprised me. I, too, brought lots of manipulatives and he loved the goldfish and cereal puffs we brought. I brought this little musical xylephone that came apart like a puzzle and he just loved making music with it.(plus it was easy to pack as I could take it apart to pack).
WE are in Rostov region also!
Coachmom

[rejola]

We took some of the items mentioned above; however, his favorite was a cheap bottle of bubbles. We didn't get any smiles out of him that day but he was fascinated with us blowing bubbles. I don't think he had ever seen such a thing. He was only 12 months old on our first trip but I'm sure older kids would like them as well. Rex

[RussianTutor]

Melissa,

I am sure you will have a wonderful trip. Keep your mind open and don't have any particular expectations. You've got so many great pieces of advice here. Just don't try to push something the child does not want to do. Some like hugs, others do not. Snacks are always great. Especially the ones that are different from Russian snacks. Keep in mind, that everything you bring might be gone by the next visit. It all differs, but it happened a lot in my practice. Best of luck!

Tamara

[GCS]

For our then 3 year old boy we had great luck with a bag of teddy grahams (resealable so we could just bring them with us every day!). Dont forget a sippy cup and a bottle of water.
He liked the stuffed animals but those were less interesting to him than the cars. Especially a car that made noise. We brought books with real photos not illustrations in them. That was a big hit. We brought clothes and shoes to check for sizes and then to leave with the orphanage.
I also brought with the developmental pages from The Toddler Years book from the Girlfriends Guides series. I figured he'd be delayed but I could reference where he should be and where he really was. This was a big help!
Leave a disposable camera and they may take pictures for you during your time away.
Take lots of pictures. I wish we had video taped things but we really couldn't manage that with the camera and both kiddos so we opted not to. I would love to have that footage now.
We also took a tape measure and got all new measurements for our IA dr.

Good luck and have a great trip!

[adoptkali]

Melissa,
We are headed to Rostov too. I sent you and email!

[Jpride]

The snacks are what worked for us. Our son was almost 3 when we met him and he was very nervous when he came in the room, but once I offered him a snack he was all smiles. A true little man - the way to his heart was through his stomach.

The water was also enjoyed by him, but not in a sippy cup. He did not get the hang of that for a while. I just let him drink out of a bottle.

We of course had toys, which he enjoyed after the snacks. Just make sure if you start with snacks bring them every day, because that was the first thing that he would do was go through my bag and find the snacks!

Most of all just have fun with him/her.

[waiter]

Considering you don't know how old your child is I would try to pack things for a variety of ages. Blow up beach ball, bubbles, books that are touch/feel or lift the flap. Small cars, balls, etc. I also might want to check with other families that have traveled to your region to see what they have there already. We met our referral in a "play room" that had some toys in already. You don't want to bring it half way around the world and find it is already there. I would agree to try snacks/juice. Make sure you ask first though. Things like Cheerios can also help you see how they handle feeding themselves, transfer things in hands, etc. Have a good developmental book with a variety of ages so you have the spectrum. I actually just copied the pages I needed rather than carrying the whole book (saving space and weight) but I knew how old my referral was before I left. Good luck and have fun.