[Bcelli]

It seems our first son has always understood the circumstances of his birth and adoption. We've always talked about him being our chosen Russian boy, how God led us to him, etc. and he has asked since he was 'little' about his life in Russia and why his Russian mom didn't keep him.

With our second, who just turned 7, we have used the same talk and references, but he has never shown the first indication that he has an understanding or curiosity about his beginnings. He understands he lived in a children's home in Russia and we looked for him for a long time before we came to bring him home. But he doesn't seem to realize he was born from a Russian mother before he lived in the children's home. (He was relinquished as a newborn.) It's not something I intend to talk to him about until he asks or starts getting to that age where it's possible other kids could ask him questions or say something unkind, but I can't quite figure out where his head is on the subject. He's extremely bright and blows through his school work easily, so it's not like he can't put 2 and 2 together. He has friends whose mother's have given birth to younger siblings. But yet, he's never asked about that as it relates to his story. He has asked questions a number of times about things he did as an infant, what were his first words, etc. I just tell him I don't know because he didn't come home from Russia until he was 2 1/2.

For those of you with school-aged kids, at what age did your child know, ask about or understand the facts of their early life? Since we seem to have opposite ends of the spectrum in our family, I'm trying to get a better picture of the average situation. Thanks.

[mommyto4]

My bio and adopted were curious around 4y/o. My adopted daughter home about 2 years before she really became more interested and felt more secure and comfortable talking about her life in the orphanage, and memories she had. Usually at times before bed when it was just the 2 of us. Since your second son was adopted a little older where he had memories of his time in the orphanage, he could be afraid to bring forth some possibly unpleasant memories. Best wishes.

[momraine]

My daughter is nine now and occasionally will go through spurts of wanting to know more, but most of the time she doens't think about it. I think she will probably continue to have spurts, and I always answer her questions to the best of my ability. I think she understood a little more every time.