[mcanvasback]

I don't mean to be intrusive, but, I am curious as to if/how the economy is affecting your choices for your kids (or yourselves) this holiday?

I like to think of myself as a 'less is more' Mom by nature but I learned something from my 3 year old this week. Bear with me - I am a first time single Mom - all this stuff is new to me!

She had a birthday Tuesday, with a party at school, cake, balloons, small presents, the whole bit. I was going to have another party for her the day after Thanksgiving, because my family was here for the holiday, with the "big" present", another cake etc. So much for 'less is more"! Ha!

Well, I mentioned to Bella that we were having a party and she looked at me, frowned, and said, "Mom. I already had my party". Hmmm. Indeed.
I cancelled the order for the cake, and put the toys away in the closet for Christmas. Really made me think. The 2nd party was for me, not her. It brought home so clearly to me the fact that, while we all know in theory that it is not good for our kids or our pocketbooks to overindulge, it is fun, and tempting, to do so.

So.....I am vowing to remember this, not just this year when money is so tight for so many, but every year. As well as having decided as a family that the exchange will be one present each except for the kids, I feel that, between Bella's "big" gifts, a play kitchen and (yet another) Princess dress, a few small things and her stocking, that is more than enough. Also, we donated $25 toward a fund that will send 65 kids in Kyrgyzstan to a "McDonalds" type restaurant for Christmas. I explained as best I could to Bella what the money was going for and how Christmas is about giving as well as receiving. I don't think she understood but if she didn't understand this year, she will next year.

So...again, I am curious as to how other people deal with this - is anyone else using this time to rethink their practices - and what are you saying to your kids about it?

[MominPA]

This year we are doing the less is more too. I am already done with 95% of my shopping. I just need to get some picture frames for the grandparents to put in pictures of our kids.

I skimped back on the back to school clothes shopping with the intentions of getting a couple more outfits for Christmas.

They have more then enough toys. I just got Adam a few small Transformers, some Hot Wheel cars, Hess Truck and a car carrier for his cars. The only toys Josh wanted was a Nerf Tag set. So it is going to be a pretty simple Christmas this year.

This is also the first year Josh doesn't believe in Santa.

[kretzklan]

We brought the kids home on December 1st and that first Christmas was crazy. I was a maniac. I bought everything I saw - they didn't have this toy or that sweater or that other toy. Whatever. WAY too much. I had done that a bit with my oldest when he was little...
The funny thing is that we seem to do it when they really don't care - you know? Why buy a 1 year old thirty presents? They'll like the box from one of them the best. Whereas my 12 year old would LOVE to get that much. That said, he won't. Since 2005 we have revamped Christmas. Each child gets one big gift and a stocking full of the little stuff. I do buy board games since that is one of the things the kids and I do ALOT. The kids memories of their first Christmas are negative - the felt a lot of pressure to do things "right". We are blessed and aren't really "feeling the pinch" like others and our hearts go out. But, our Christmas will still be small. Hopefully my kids are getting the message that it's not about gifts. (maybe not since they were disappointed at the number of gifts under the tree)

It's funny - we do very little for birthdays now. VERY little. Every other year they get to have a "party" or sleepover...but it's low key and not a lot of kids. Then the off year, they get to pick where we eat out - NO gifts from us in either scenario! We eat out every Friday night - it's a tradition and we simply let them pick the restaurant. Funny thing is they LOVE it. They look forward to it all year. I will admit that we do NOT let them pick on other nights...

Anyway - long winded way to say - it's not the economy so much as our deep desire to not have kids that are spoiled and entitled!

[momraine]

I tend to do a lot of little things. I like streaching it out. When the my oldest had his first christmas I noticed how fast it was over. We were at my mils and there were millions of gifts and it was over in five minutes and I could not tell who gave what.

So now we do a big Christmas eve thing. We have an international dinner and then we have the kids each give thier gifts. First the youngest one will bring out his gifts and one at a time hand them out. (we make a big, big deal about each and every gift) Then dh reads the kids a book (we have a stack of Christmas books) Then the next child gets to give out his or her gifts. ETC, we always give each child new pajamas for thier Christmas eve gift from us. We also serve hot chocolate with candy canes and I make cookies.
In the morning we hide the stockings. They have to follow clues. Lately the older kids last clues say to help the younger ones and they find all the stockings in one place. The more abled bodied kids have clues upstairs and then downstairs so they can run off some of that Christmas morning energy. The stockings contain cheap stuff, candy, maybe cheap jewlery or something and sometimes fancy instant oatmeal or fruit and those little cheeses that are in wax.
Anyway, after breakfast we do the gifts. The gifts are numbered. There are some socks and silly things, new toothbrushes and toothpaste, sometimes some clothes or shoes if they are needed, cool water bottles, videos or board games for everyone etc. The "big" gifts are the last ones. If it can come in parts, I wrap all the parts separately. The reason they are numbered is to ensure that we only open one gift at a time. I have the secret chart (I create it while wrapping) Anyway, becasue we take our time and watch each gift being opened, the smaller gifts are enjoyed and looked at. A new pencil or coloring book or something is actually appreciated since they have to wait awhile before thier next gift. The pattern is usually youngest to oldest, but we randomly add gifts for mom or dad and gifts for all to keep the older ones from being able to guesse which are thiers.

[kretzklan]

We also do the gifts one at a time - that is how I grew up and I remember going to my friend's house for Christmas and they all just ripped into the gifts. 5 minutes and everyone was finished. I felt let down!

[amyfk]

Luckily my husband is still working and he's making about the same amount of money in his business(he leases a spot from Wal-Mart and more folks are shopping there). I am looking for part-time work but it's not going too hot for me.
Nevertheless due to the fact that we are getting less for our money nowadays I am buying less. This year when Joanna was in school i painted ceramics for my family at one of those ceramics shops. I thought Id' be saving money and I did somewhat, but the prices for the pieces were more than I anticipated.
I am tired of my local radio stations(I only listen to radio in my car) and I would like to get satellite radio because the choices are so much more, but I think you pay montly. I dont want to make my husband get me satellite because I would rather him get me something that he can pay as a one shot deal.
So I am trying somewhat here.....
I havent gone yet for Joanna....
Amy K, NJ

[Kasey]

I don't think we are changing much from last year. We don't buy the kids alot because there are 3 sets of grandparents and quite a few aunts and uncles whom they also get presents from. We usually stick with one big present for each and several small ones and a few things in their stockings.
The adults in our families have agreed not to shop for each other,s o that is the biggest change this year.

We also try to send something back each xmas to the babyhomes. So we are in the midst of collecting socks and mittens and hat. Alek really enjoys this.
He has been a big help as well this year with the annual clean out of toys. We take them to school to donate as the school has a charity for women and children in need.
SO at least now I feel less cluttered and there is room for santa's arrival this year!

[TweetyMom04]

Early on, we informed the Boys that there are children less fortunate in the world. Some have no clothes, books, toys, bikes, stuffed animals, etc. That said, when the Boys receive gifts whether for B-day or Christmas, they donate the number of 'new gifts' in 'old toys' to a local charity shop. Each time we go they come and help unload the car of items.

Interesting that over the years, their Wish Lists have gone from many, many, many requests, to one or two. Those one or two items are typically larger in size and $. This year, they picked out two items each.

As for the large family, we only exchange for and with the 5 children. Some years, we do a Family Gift.
This year, only exchanging with the Children. Mainly because 3 Families are moving.

[mcanvasback]

Originally Posted by momraine

I tend to do a lot of little things. I like streaching it out. When the my oldest had his first christmas I noticed how fast it was over. We were at my mils and there were millions of gifts and it was over in five minutes and I could not tell who gave what.

So now we do a big Christmas eve thing. We have an international dinner and then we have the kids each give thier gifts. First the youngest one will bring out his gifts and one at a time hand them out. (we make a big, big deal about each and every gift) Then dh reads the kids a book (we have a stack of Christmas books) Then the next child gets to give out his or her gifts. ETC, we always give each child new pajamas for thier Christmas eve gift from us. We also serve hot chocolate with candy canes and I make cookies.
In the morning we hide the stockings. They have to follow clues. Lately the older kids last clues say to help the younger ones and they find all the stockings in one place. The more abled bodied kids have clues upstairs and then downstairs so they can run off some of that Christmas morning energy. The stockings contain cheap stuff, candy, maybe cheap jewlery or something and sometimes fancy instant oatmeal or fruit and those little cheeses that are in wax.
Anyway, after breakfast we do the gifts. The gifts are numbered. There are some socks and silly things, new toothbrushes and toothpaste, sometimes some clothes or shoes if they are needed, cool water bottles, videos or board games for everyone etc. The "big" gifts are the last ones. If it can come in parts, I wrap all the parts separately. The reason they are numbered is to ensure that we only open one gift at a time. I have the secret chart (I create it while wrapping) Anyway, becasue we take our time and watch each gift being opened, the smaller gifts are enjoyed and looked at. A new pencil or coloring book or something is actually appreciated since they have to wait awhile before thier next gift. The pattern is usually youngest to oldest, but we randomly add gifts for mom or dad and gifts for all to keep the older ones from being able to guesse which are thiers.

Love these ideas, momraine!

[momraine]

The kids actually look forward to their turn to do the giving on Christmas eve almost more than the getting on Christmas morning. Also because there are no other gifts being given, their little gifts to each other get more attention. Usually the kids give each other home made stuff. Last year the little ones had a school store where they could purchase things (dollar store type stuff) the older ones use thier allowance so their stuff is usually dollar store stuff! However being the very first presents makes them a big deal and the kids are getting good at thanking each other. I love watching how excited they are about thier turns to give.

[Mykidsmom]

We are keeping it the same. We discourage the techno toys and give more hands on toys, science stuff, games, playsets. We were able to retire the same year of our last adoption so we have never been extremely extravagant with ourselves or the kiddos.

[MamaChinch]

Delaney's first Chirstmas home was simply shameful...so much so that she got tired of opening gifts! I tried to be better last year, and defintely cut way back this year. Since her birthday is in Feb, last year and this year I took a couple things from Christmas for b-day gifts. This year I am done with her and have picked things for gifts up on clearance, and her big Santa gift is a used train table I got at Once Upon a Child. Her b-day preset last year was a bike , and it was used also.
Last year I tried to make a big deal out of doing things like cooking, listening to music, I play the piano and we sing, we drive around at night and get hot chocolate from Starbucks and look at lights. We made reindeer food.....(okay you can make the hot chocolate, too!)
Delaney's class has adopted a familiy locally that needs help and they have asked for the kids to bring in coins for a big jar they have. So we have been making a big deal about finding coins around the house and taking them to school. Last night she got some from her piggy bank and Mommoy took change from her purse. Also, this weekend we cleared out toys to give to the homeless shelter, to make way for her Christmas gifts. We will make a trip there for her to give them away.
We get new Chirstmas pj's and she loves that. I really think if find fun things to do and make them a tradition, she will remember those things long after presents go away. You are doing the right thing! Bella sure has a wonderful Mama!!

[Jessi_76]

Because this will be our first Christmas, I know we'll go nuts, although quite truthfully because we just came home 3 mos ago and I don't work, we simply cannot afford it. I will try to make most of the gifts simple and special or things that they will need anyway since they are too little (1yo & 2yo) to ask for things and really know the difference. Besides, my parents will go INSANE! They always have for us, and the kids will be no exception...they will actually probably be REALLY insane with them. LOL.

[GCS]

We're in a bit of a different situation this year. Last year my FIL died right before Christmas. He was Mr. Santa and there were always so many gifts for the kids we begged him to do less (seriously, one year each kid had more than 30 gifts - each one!)

Last year Christmas was hard and this year we're going into the one year anniversary and its going to be tough again.

My family does very little in the way of gift giving at Christmas. The kids will each get two maybe three small items there. My siblings are older and a few of them are already grandparents so the extended family is big and we do not buy for one another at all.

DH's family has changed now that his dad is gone. There will likely be three or four presents top there. Not the 30+ they had seen in the past.

DH feels there should be many packages, even its just small things so we are going to be going all out this year again. He feels that the kids are small for such a short time and that they should have that overwhelming feeling he had with his dad. I get where he's coming from but tend to feel more like less is more around the holidays. Its a hard time for him right now and this is important to him so I am going along but hope that as the years pass we can start to wind down on the gift giving.

Like with Bella, I held some of Buttercup's bday gifts back and have them put away for her. Her bday party was before her actual birthday and she got so much stuff I held back most of what we had bought for her and it is already wrapped for Christmas morning. Her bday was in June but I had a good hiding place so my secret is safe!

[Bcelli]

Christmas is my holiday! I am an absolute psycho at this time of year. It may be the boys' best Christmas ever and I say that having dodged a bullet today at our company with a 10% worldwide workforce layoff that didn't include me. And DH is in job transition this month. He'll be able to stay with his current company if he chooses, but starting in January, he'll have to work in another state and just be home on weekends. Not a good situation for us. We actually like each other being around. But as is always the case, we adopt two angels off the angel tree at church that serves the Methodist Children's Home here. When we chose our angels - one wanted an MP3 player and the other wanted a GameBoy Advance game - DH asked if we could afford to do that. I said we couldn't afford not to and that God would provide. As it happened, the MP3 player was on sale for a great price and I had to order the game off Amazon and they were running an instant $30 credit if you took out a credit card. I thought about it awhile and said - sure. So we got the game AND expedited shipping and still have a credit on the card. Didn't know God handled credit applications! We try to involve the boys in as many mission opportunities as possible, especially at this time of year, and they are also going to the children's ward at local charity hospital and delivering gifts with their Sunday School classes. I just LOVE Chrsitmas!