[MamaChinch]

Has anyone found any good books that talk about "where babies come from" with regards to adoption, but doesn't exclusively talk about the birthmother as THE mommy? No flames please, I mean this only in terms my three year old can understand....we have a good friend who is about to have a baby and she is asking questions.
She knows she was born in Russsia, and that I was not there when she was born and she lived in the BH, etc., but we have not really had the where babies come from discussion in full and as such, have not had the you grew in someone else's tummy discussion completely yet.....well.... you get it.
It's funny, she's asking questions all the around the obvious stuff, like why does S have to go to the hospital to have the baby, is she sick, and why does her friend have to be there when the baby is born, "so he won't be lonely?" "so she can help her Mommy take of him?"
And somehow we got on a discussion about the umbilical cord and how it feeds the babies in the tummies and then the doctor cuts it so the baby can eat real food and that makes your belly button....what??? I am, of course, taking her lead, but I know what's coming next....
All the books I have and have looked at talk about the baby growing in the Mommies' tummy but that not all babies live with that Mommy. But I have been saying that babies grow in "ladies" tummies and sometimes that lady becomes the Mommy and sometimes another lady becomes the Mommy. (this seems to be the best for her right now.)
I am just trying to find something that is more clearcut than some of the books I have seen. Really at this point, keeping it age simple and appropriate.
She is smart and I want her to know everything, but am just looking for something that helps explain it well.
Any books you liked best?

[Kasey]

I cant say I have really found any one particular book, so we have read all different ones, from standard baby comes home, how babies are born, to domestic adoption (tell me again about the night I was born, etc..) to ones specific for Russian adoption(they like Borya and the Burps).
So they have had a taste of everything. Our good friends who we see all the time have had two babies since Alek has been home, so we have been thru all the questions, he liked feeling the baby kick, he would ask if I felt him kick and we would just talk about his story.
I think as he has gotten older he "gets" it a little more. Plus we have photos of his birthmother now, so I can say this is whose tummy you were in.

Another thing I did is help him write his own book. We did it on the computer together and he draws pictures of the family and he tells me how his story goes. He loved when we finished it and printed it out.

[amyfk]

I wish I could help you C but I havent come across such a book yet. We read more simple ones and while Joanna knows she's adopted and she grew in the lady's belly in Russia, she hasnt really asked much more. Even when she sees new babies. Maybe just try to answer questions as honestly and simply as you can for the time being? I wish I could direct you better.
Amy K, NJ

[Whistler]

We read "Over the Moon" and LOVED it! It was about Latin American adoption and did not reference the birthmother but followed the aparents' story.

[MamaChinch]

Thanks, guys, I love making a book idea! Yes, Amy, the best advice, answer the sinple questions simply!
So today....what does bring up? Being born, living and dying!!! Yikes! We started to talk a little and then she said, "are we living?" and that seemed to suffice for now!
She hasn't asked too much about it this weekend...but my friend is due in a couple weeks!
Boy, I'd better go book shopping!!!! he he!!

[amyfk]

Wow Delaney is something else! Sounds like you are going to have a gifted kid on your hands. She's thinking pretty theoretically for a young one. I thought the little ones thought more concretely at her age.
A week ago we were in the diner. Joanna started getting obsessed with blood. Im not sure why. I guess she had a cut or something. I told her we all had blood in our bodies and it is constantly moving around our bodies through our circulatory system(in simpler terms). She told me she didnt want the blood going around her body. I told her she had no choice....
The other day we were talking about gender difference. Joanna already knows the basics of anatomy and she doesnt even have a brother!
I would just be as honest and straightforward as possible. Id also keep things simple. And I think you can have a choice on topics that are for her age and others which can come up later as she is older and can take in more.(but you can double check this with an expert, as Im not one).
Amy K, NJ

[Kasey]

Kids are so funny! Never ceases to amaze me what comes out of their mouths!
We went through the living/dying thing a few months ago, we had a weeks worth of "death" conversations.
He is now fascinated regarding his heart and brain and that they "talk" to each other.

Thankfully with the two births of our friends children, he has accepted my responses that they go to the hospital and the doctor helps with the baby being born. I haven't had to go into any details yet!

Good luck, you definitely have to stay on your toes!

[MamaChinch]

he he! Very funny Kris and Amy! It's so funny how they think of things in their little brains!
Yes, Delaney is theoretical, she blows me away sometimes about what and how she thinks. She can be very profound for a three year old. She is also obessed with men being bald right now!
Staying my toes ALL the time!! he he!