[Ebadge90]

Kind of a touchy subject, but after reading many posts here, I might be posting strictly for moral support. Our 3 year old is going to a nursery/pre-school. The one he is enrolled in is close to our house, religious affiliated, although I am not sure what denomination, and they will take 3 year olds that are not fully potty trained.
We are having problems with them not telling us how he is doing, but we get to hear reports to other parents at pick up time. Two weeks ago he told us that he hit someboy. My wife called the school and they initially denied anything happened, but then finally go to the point that he may have pushed a child in order to either move up in line or to get a toy.
Yesterday he came home and said that "Miss ------- had given his a treat, but that he didn't get any snack." He showed us that a "treat" was taps on his bottom. He also has stated that his "hose" hurts. He then motioned that his "hose" is his penis, after all he is only 3 so he can call it what he wants for now.
My wife is taking him to the pediatriacian today because we are scared to death that some major inappropriate behavior is going on at the day care.
Needless to say, he has been to the day care for the last time. At this point in time, since it is only the word of a 3 year old, do we get the police involved, let the state know, or just wait until the pediatrician checks him?
Both my self and my wife have said we will cause bodily harm to the people if anything has happened, so there is no need to think that we are not on top of this. I just needed to talk about this to people that are not involved. My wife and I get to upset to talk about this much together. Thanks for listening.

[momraine]

If there is any proof the pediatrition will have to report it. I would be prepared for that. The hose thing, well that could be a urinary tract infection so you would want to check that regardless of any fears of abuse. I would also be talking to the director and asking more questions. When I worked in a preschool and in daycare, there were good and bad teachers. Usually the bad ones were fired as soon as the directors realized something was going on.

[mcanvasback]

Wow. I am stunned. I'm sure you will get some great advice - I don't know how to respond but as the Mom of a 3 year old in 'pre-school' I can imagine how you must feel and I'm so sorry. In fact, my daughter was coming home a few months ago and saying her fanny hurt and my mind jumped to that terrible place too. Honestly, with her, I believe it was just attention seeking she also told me someone threw sand in her face and when I asked her who she said Miss Cindy (her teacher) and I am absolutely certain that did not happen- I know Miss Cindy very well. Her school has been there for 21 years and it's a very small town so I convinced myself I was thinking crazy, and I think I was - that said - we all know this happens. My only advice would be to be very cautious even though you want to go charging in there - try to get your emotions in check until you have more information - gather your facts as carefully as you can. Good luck and I'll be interested to see what happens.

[Ktates]

I would report it - in our state you can report it anonymously if you so desire. It may be the case that enough people reported suspicious things to warrant an investigation. I think the pediatrician is a mandated reporter in our state anyway.

Hang in there - I can only imagine how stressful this is for you.

[votemom]

if your three year old is generally verbally articulate (i.e., is able to communicate accurately what he is trying to say), then i would not hesitate to take some action.

"treat" = a spanking? yikes.

definitely get him in to the doctor right away.

[MamaChinch]

This all sounds very suspicoius! First of all, for an educator to have "nick names" for certain things is completely unacceptable as well not to get an update on your child's day. I'd talk to the director and the ped.
Move forward carefully, but you are completely right to do so!!!

[Drazil]

Yeah, I would have taken my child out also, for good!!! Stay on the side of caution, if they are being evasive anyway then assume there is "something" amiss (no matter how little) and you probably do not want your kid there anyway! Its easy to reason away what a child says as embellishment or fantasy but I would be cautious in todays world. You just never know what you are dealing with when other people influence your childs life. Keep us posted with an update and good luck with this situation.

[EZ2Luv]

First of all if they are witholding information about how your child is doing that would be enough to be looking for a new day care.
As far as any abuse I would be livid at the thought of it, but I was also first have the child checked for a UTI as someone mentioned. You say that he is not fully potty trained, could he be holding in his pee? That could cause some urinary tract issues. Then based on what the doctor says I would do one of two things, have a serious talk with whoever runs the daycare and demand that you be updated and notified about how your child is doing or search for another daycare.
If there proves to be any abuse then report it as I am sure that any pediatrcian would too.
I don't blame you for being upset. You know your child best and how well he communicates though some children can be quite imaginative. Even still you need to get the truth.

EZ

[angelkisses0102]

Yikes...time for a new daycare/pre-school in my mind. I hope all went well with the pedi. and that your little is just fine. But I would be looking for a new place.

As for reporting it...I probably would...just in case.

Good luck...

[papedge]

At our daycare every room is filmed all day long/picture and voice is there any way yours is and if so ask to see the tapes from the time your child started to the present time.

[Ebadge90]

After a night of sleep, although not a good nights sleep, we started with the pediatrician. I think cooler heads prevailed on our part. Obviously, and I think all parents would feel the same way, my emotions were sky high and I was ANGRY thinking that somebody that I trust to take care of my son would instead be hurting him. My blood pressure goes up every time I think it might have happened.
Even after this latest episode, the owner of the daycare still says that the teacher does not have time to do any log book to see how our son is doing. Writing some things down for us would take time away from the other children. We have found another day care, but he might not start until January. Hopefully, they will find an opening and he can start after Thanksgiving.
We will certainly be writing to the daycare and cc'ing a copy to the state. There were certain issues with this daycare that didn't thrill us when he enrolled, but they were one of the few that would take non-potty trained 3 year olds. We thought we found the perfect place. In the end, that was no where near reality.
Thank you everybody for your thoughts and insight.

[amyfk]

Ebadge, so sorry to hear about your child's experiences. My child is happy in her school, but her teachers never give us a written take home report on her either so I am left scratching my head at what she does there all day long.
I am looking for a new school for her for next year(for oher reasons though) but I will be looking for a place where I get feedback.
Sounds like you made the right move. At age 3 the kids have the right to feel safe, loved, and secure in school. If this isnt happening it's time to move on.
Amy K, NJ

[ddahl]

I would call everyone in ASAP. First of all its illegal to withhold any food or snack for any reason. Based on that alone I would place a call to DCF.

As for the other issues clearly they are cause for concern. Have you talked to the director? A lot is missed because the classes are crazy with all the kids and lets face it a 6 -1 or 12-2 ratio is ridiculous. We had a multitude of issues with our first daycare and could never get them to tell us what happened.

I once went there ans M was missing???? I have to tell you that if I had a weapon other than my razor sharp tounge I would have leveled the place. You are totally right to feel outraged. Make a list of exactly what he said in detail. Call the peditrician regardless. Of course they would report it whatever it is if there is something to report and frankly you would want that because it might protect another child. I would just casually investigate with your son as well. I know with mine, he is easilly led when I question him so I have to be super careful about it.

Take deep breaths and remain as calm as possible. My last straw was when I picked up M from school and they said "Oh hi! we were going to call you" "M hurt his neck".... What the F !!!!! I ran to the classroom and he had lacerated his neck when he tied a shoe lace from a learn to tie your shoe board around his neck hours earlier. Let me tell you I was in lock and load mode and was certainly capable of heinous acts upon everyone involved! He was sliced from ear to throat. He never went back. 3 years later and I still have the same feelings about it as I did then. Friggin ridiculous!

My heartfelt prayers are with you! I will close in saying that its pathetic as parents that these crap daycares are the best we can do for America's future! UGGH!