[Nursie222]

I wanted to know if anyone has adopted a child without owning a house? I currently live with my parents because I am saving for my adoption. Once my adoption is complete and my child is home I am going to move out. My parents house is very big and all of the rooms are not used so she would have her own room so there is no problem there. My problem is that this is my parents house and my name is obviously not on the deed. I spoke with my agency rep. and she said to avoid any problem, questions, extra paperwork to put my name on the deed; however putting my name on the deed of their house is not something I really want to do. Has anyone experienced the same problem or have any advice for me??? Thanks so much

[MominPA]

I think putting the name on the deed is not necessary.

How about having you parents draw up a lease agreeement showing that you are renting from them?

You will need to answer some question anyway about the living arrangement since it will be mentioned in your homestudy. Also USCIS will require your parents to be fingerprinted for your 600A.

[Nursie222]

I didn't think of the lease agreement idea. That is a great idea and thank you so much. Thank you for the information.

[amyfk]

Nursie, Ive been done with my adoption for two years but from what I remembered you dont have to own a home to adopt. You can live in an apt. etc. but the child has to have his/her own bedroom or living space. Also the place has to be safe for a kid (eg. no hanging wires from the ceiling).
Best,
Amy K, NJ

[Bcelli]

I had a similar concern with our first adoption because at the time we lived in a mobile home on my mother's property in the country. (SIDEBAR: Russia does not have mobile homes so if you live in one, don't let your homestudy agency call it that in your homestudy. The Russian courts interpret that as a travel trailer and that opens a whole can of worms.) However, I second the non-requirement of home ownership, but am aghast your agency would suggest you have your name put on the deed of someone else's home - parents or not. As a single parent, it might work in your favor that you share the living space with your potential child's grandparents, as they would also be available to support you and the child - in the physical and emotional sense - not financially. However, if your plan is to move into your own space following the adoption and you express that to the court - and they might likely ask - you should be prepared to address all associated issues from child care to location to your financial status. Just a head's up.

[momraine]

When my sister lived with us we also drew up a lease she paid us a small amount (which we put in an account for her daughters college fund) for tax reasons. She wanted to claim head of house hold and her kids as deductions. In order to do that she had to have a lease and be renting from us, otherwise our tax person told her that she could not claim head of household and there for her kids were my dh's dependants as was she. (actually that was the reality since she did not contribute to the household at all, but that's another story)
So you might want to do that for that reason as well. I don't know if I would bring up plans to move in court. We were planning to move due to dh's job and were told not to mention it in court as they would see that as uprooting the kids. They will probably see the living with parents as a positive thing as you can spin it as live in child care. If they ask about you moving into your own home, you can mention that you will likely move into your own home near your parents when you feel it's best for the child.

[ddahl]

You will need a statement notarized at least but you do not need to be on their deed. They will have to be background checked though and possibly fingerprinted. I am not entirely sure tha tyou need to mention your future plans, You live there now and you will bring the baby home there. Keep it simple. You are only dating the Russian government....

[Mykidsmom]

I agree about not mentioning future plans. After you are home with your child and have post placement reports then AFTER the move give them the new address. That is not being deceptive we all have plans for our future that my are may not happen.

Renting from your parents is the way to go, that the Russian government will understand.

[Nursie222]

Thank you so much for all of your advice. I definitly won't mention moving. I'm gonna work up a lease agreement with my parents to submit with my dossier.

I was stressing about this issue but I do feel better now.

[manon]

I agree that the Russian government will probably be fine with the concept of you still living with your parents; many generations often share living quarters in Russia and it's not unusual for people to live with their parents. It'll still be roomy by their standards for your child to have his/her own room.

I also second the advice you got from one of the other posters that every adult living in the house will be subject to the same background check and fingerprint check that you are.

I think financially the biggest thing you have to establish is (a) for the social worker doing the homestudy, to show that you have the wherewithal to take care of your child, and (b) whatever the adoption agency's own requirements are - there sometimes are limits they place on it themselves so they don't have to be faced with issues coming up about being able to complete the adoption. I think for both of these concerns, you can address all that with a budget and with a plan of what you expect to have to pay & how you'll handle contingencies, like if your parents were to ask you to move out.

Best wishes.

[Nursie222]

My agency is really pushing for me to put my name on the deed of my parents house. I told her I really didn't want to do that nor do I even know how to go about it. I gave her the suggestion of coming up with a lease between myself and my parents and I am waiting for her response. I will keep you all updated. Thanks so much for all of your advice.

[Bcelli]

This is just weird. Can your name even be on the deed without also being equally financially liable for the mortgage? I would think the bank has a say in all that. And would that not create an entirely new set of issues with your financial documents? Unless, of course, the mortgage is paid and you and your parents don't care one way of the other.

I would put my foot down, though, and tell them flat out 'No." The lease proposal should be more than sufficient. Do they tell women - or men - whose home's deed is in the name of their spouse only - maybe because they owned it before the marriage or maybe because the non title-holder had bad credit when they bought the house - to change the deed? I doubt it. I know it can get scary when you are relying on these folks to help you find the child your heart longs for, but the bottom line is that they work for YOU. You call the shots. Not them.

I would venture to speculate that if you told them this would be a deal-breaker and you're going to have to find another agency, it would quickly become a non-issue. You could also mention a 100% refund since they obviously did not reperesent their requirements up front and thereby nullified the contract before it was even signed. Realistically speaking, times are tough and the economic crunch is hitting everyone - even adoption agencies. I'm sure they wouldn't want to loose a good client over their own preferences rather than the requirements of the Russian government.

These kinds of things are aggravating to me because I've seen and heard of too many potential adoptive parents getting strung out in the process by less than scrupulous people for myriad reasons, when all the adoptive parents want is to love and raise a child. I'm not saying your agency is unscrupulous, but I think their reasoning for pursuing this line of thinking is probably because they've never had a case before where an AP lived with their parents and they're not sure how to present the situation in the dossier. Well, here's a perfect opportunity for them to learn something new.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out. Good luck.

[Nursie222]

Beclli,
They did tell me that if one spouse was on the deed and the other wasn't they did have to put both names on the deed. I emailed her and told her that I am willing to sign a lease agreement with my parents and I am not willing to put my name on the deed but she hasn't responded to me yet. She responded to me about everything else but that. We will see what happens. Thanks so much for the advice and I will keep you all updated.

[Bcelli]

Hang in there. We're praying for you. :-) Like I said, this is NOT a requirement of Russia and if it is THEIR requirement, they should never have accepted you as a client. UGH! Always try to present your arguments with a dose of sugar, but sometimes a slap across the face is the only thing that will get some poeple's attention. Keep the faith.

[MominPA]

Honestly between this requirement and the other post about them having you only go to certain IA doctors is causing me great concerns.

Even a married couple may not want to have both names on a deed for legal reasons. An agency has no right on insisting it be done.

Not everyone has black and white lives. There are sometimes gray involved. If they can't be flexible or have different options over simple matters what happens if a more complex issue comes about.

If I was in your shoes, I would re-evaulate if you want to work with this agency. I would also call up other agencies whom you were interested in and ask them about these two situations and see what their response is.

I wish you the best of luck.