[momraine]

What is the most annoying question or comment you get from people?

[MissDaisyofTexas]

"He's so tiny!"

My son is small for his age, and it annoys me when people make a big deal out of it.

[momraine]

I get asked if my children's birth mom, or I when people don't know they are adopted, took thalidimide.
No is the answer. When I tell people there is no identifiable cause for my kids birth defects and that the doctors have said, sometimes it just happens, they don't seem to get it and keep asking. For one of them I have no family history and I don't know the prenatal history of either.

[kretzklan]

How is their English? People who know we adopted, but don't know us well...they still ask this. The children have been home almost 3 years and I want to say (but I try to be nice) "they speak French".
We don't tell the adoption story to new people we meet - and the big question always is "where did she get her blonde hair". We just say from my DH's side as he is gray and could have been blonde before!

[mauserhaus]

why did you adopt from Russia instead of the US?

I hate that one. There are lots of reasons, but I don't need to explain them to anyone......

[MamaChinch]

"Do you know anything about her real parents?"
Me: "Yeah, I know a lot, I am her real parent!" UGH!!!!!

I also get asked how's her English? After being home 2 years and, she came home at 18 months, so essentially English is her first language.....geez.....she does speak every good Spanish and understands it even better. I should say she speaks Spanish to people! (good advice, kretz!)

A couple weeks ago an older woman in a store was commenting on how cute she thought she was and then Delaney said, "I'm from Russia!" The woman looked at me and I nodded my head and said, "She was born in Russia." The woman said, "Oh, she knows that?" And I went ahead and told her she was adotped from Russian, and the woman said, "And she knows that?" Sometimes you just want to slap people! he he!

[GCS]

Oh there are so many, too many to count. These are recent ones:

"you have to be careful and have them checked for AIDS." Seriously, we've been home 3 years. Do you really think they never had a blood test done?

"are they twins" No. they are 33 months apart. Raised eyebrows. Buttercup is only 1lb lighter and 2 inches shorter than her big brother. Usually people leave it alone but often I get follow up questions. My new response is that girlie is very tall for her age and that her big brother is on the s-m-a-l-l side. I make sure I spell it out so they understand I am not going to continue this conversation in front of the kids. I just think it is rude to talk about the kids in front of them as if they are not there. Maybe that's just my hang up.

"all those Russian kids have Fetal Alcohol exposure". Really? wow. I am so glad I met you. In my 4 years being active in Russian adoption this has never been brought to my attention. Ok, I really don't say that but I assure you that is what I am thinking. I could do a dissertation on FASD. Please do not try and educate me on something you read one article on. I have heard this one too many times to not be a little jaded in my response to it. I have replied "my son learned English in 3 months and my daughter is considered gifted by her preschool teachers. They are not bio-siblings. They are both very smart and very well adjusted. I know many wonderful children adopted from Russia." Although those of us who live with FASD know that many people on the spectrum are of above intelligence.


Sorry if this sounds negative but I've been dealing with lots of ignorance lately!

[SingleMama2B]

I think the most popular that I experienced is/was:

Wow, I bet it was EXPENSIVE!? Me.... no answer!

Then...... "How much did it cost you?" Me... why, are you seriously considering International Adoption?

And of course..... "Why don't you adopt ONE OF OUR OWN?"

[Kasey]

How much did they cost?

That one gets under my skin.

[momraine]

I get the cost one, I get questions about why I don't get prosthetic legs for my son and an arm. I am asked if my dd home 8 years speaks English or Russian and I am even asked if I am sure she is adopted since she looks more like me than my bio boys. LOL

[MamaChinch]

Here's another one that irks me:
"Why didn't you have a child of your own?"

Answer: "She is my own!"

Dumb person: "Oh, well, you know what I mean"

Me: "No, I don't, she's my very own child!"

Until someone else is making Monster Spray, kissing boo boos, driving her to dance classes, meeting with her teachers, holding her when she's frightened, keeping her mac and cheese separate from the peas......
she's all my own!

[Max'sMommy]

Are you going to tell them they are adopted?

"No, I am going to send them to school with an Ohio Birth-Cert. that says Place of birth: Russia" DUHHHHHHH!

[cmmandjam]

I get that question a lot too . . . Do you have any children of you own?

me: YEAH, You're looking at him!

Does anyone have this problem? I'm trying to teach him not to talk to strangers and a woman came up to talk to us out of the blue yesterday when we were trying to share some quality ice cream time. He looked at me and i said, "no, we don't talk to strangers." She continued to talk and eventually apologized. I don't usually, but for some reason, I told her the situation. She then began petting my sons arm and then his head eventually moving to put her arm around him. He's been home for a year with no signs of attachment problems, but it still drives me CRAZY when strangers touch him!!!

Oh sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent!!

[beckyww]

"Why didn't you adopt from THIS country?"

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[amyfk]

My child is supposedly part Roma.
I often get the "Your daughter doesn't look Russian to me" comment. Since Russia is so diverse, I dont know exactly what it means to look Russian.
Amy K, NJ