[amyfk]

Hi to the List,

Perhaps some of you experienced parents whove been there/done that can help me.
Joanna's birthday is coming up. We are having her birthday party at the Little Gym. We get a bit of a price break because Joanna is a student at the Little Gym.
Over the past year or two we've met some friends in the area.
My question is this:
Most of our friends have two children.(still seems to be the norm in most families). Anyway in some cases, with some families we play with both children all the time. In other cases, where the kids have an age difference, we usually play with the younger child while the older child is in school/camp.
I would like to save money to be honest, but on the other hand I would like to do the right thing. Joanna is our only so we could afford a few extra bucks for her party if need be.
In terms of invites, if a family has two children, do we invite both siblings? What about in the case where we always play with both at the same time? And what about the case where most likely we only play with the younger one because the older one isnt around?
Thanks in advance, I'm curious to see the responses.
Amy K, NJ

[TweetyMom04]

We went through this recently with the Boys 5th Birthday.

The Boys have several Friends/Playmates, where there is a younger and older sibiling. G&L play with the Child their age, that is who they invited to the party.

All went well!

-If a family has 2 children? Does your child play with both or just one?
If both, invite both. If one, invite that one.

-If plays with one b/c sibiling is older, and maybe not playmates, than invite the playmate.

Good Luck

[Drazil]

We invite the kids that actually play together, sometimes its only one of the siblings and in other cases its both siblings. You probably have a pretty good idea already who that would include. Also, we have noticed that in a couple of cases we invited the older sibling because they have actually played with Adrian but when it came time to come to the birthday party they did not want to go because it was for "little kids"! So even if you invite them they may not want to come especially if they are going to be one of the only "older" children there. .

[kretzklan]

Defintely only invite the kids that Joanna plays with on a regular basis. It's a special time for a kid who gets invited to a party! The older sibs can come and sit with Mom during the party and I'm sure most folks would know that. But, only the kids that she plays with should be in the gym participating in the party. I would get a larger cake so that any parents and sibs can have a piece also! And, if there's leftovers - who doesn't like a little cake at home?

[MamaChinch]

I agree to invite the children that Joanna plays with. I think most parents would expect that. If you feel you would like to extend the invitation the other siblings, it's nice gesture, but not necessry.

[angelkisses0102]

Bucking the trend as usual...we invite the family. I know as a mom to two, sometimes we turn down parties due to having two kiddos and no one to care for the child not invited. And I'm married so I would guess for single parents, it happens more often. Plus I just feel bad for the ones left out. We had DS's 5th b-day at The Little Gym and the kids ranged in age from 12 months to 9 years old. And all had a blast...including the parents.

[waitinginnj]

I invite the kids and if there are extra spots available, and the others come, I tell them to join in. You usually have a set number included in the base price and it normally just works out.

I always make extra goody bags, but if necessary, only the invitees get the goody bags.

[momraine]

I usually just invite the ones my kids play with. We had a problem in the past with older kids kind of taking over a younger ones party. There is also the fact that some parties at places like that are limited and you don't want to use up your spots with older kids. If parents choose not to come that is thier choice. My sister is like that, she will not come if both kids are not invited and her kids miss out on a lot. They also miss out on activies. Sports, scouts and other activities are often age based, so her older daughter will ask to do things but my sister won't allow it because her younger child can't go too. I will tell you that my older neice greatly resents this and by extension her little sister. The fact is two siblings will not always be invited to the same things. I don't feel obligated to invite siblings. Of course we also have several big families around here and some families with a huge age difference. Also with school age siblings they often don't want to hang out with preschoolers or they may have thier own activities that day. It's your party you can choose whom to invite. If I do something like at the park where numbers don't matter, then I don't mind if siblings come and I always have extra goodie bags. (though if it's a girl party and my daughter has only invited girls, I don't feel obligated to make boy goody bags for sibs) I have met people who just assume sibs are invited. I even had one drop of a much younger child for a sleep over party for my older son. She did'nt even come in just dropped both boys at the curb. One was 10 like my son, but the other was only five. They must have gone out since there was non answer when I called the house. They didn't even leave me a cell phone number! I did not have a child this kids age at the time. I was pretty busy with the big boys to suddenly be saddled with babysitting someone's child. Of course last year at the park some older kids (jr. High age) just wandered over and tried to join my son's birthday party. LOL I think they just wanted cake. Another parent happened to be a junior high teacher and knew them and sent them away. I probably would have given them some cake.

[amyfk]

Thank you all very much for your help. I appreciate it. As an inexperienced parent(and as a parent of an only) it's hard for me to know what to do.
Amy K, NJ

[katie52]

You only need to write the name of your childs' friend on the invite. And if the other sib is somebody your kid really likes ,you can say on the invitation, you are welcome to bring________ along as well.
The other older sibs will probably have other parties or things to go to anyway. But usually there will be some toddlers who will have to come along.

Have Fun.

Here is a tip on something NOT to do for a kids birthday.
One year we threw our sons party at a pizza parlor that had a game arcade attached. We had lunch, and games and then for dessert, a special cake I had ordered from a bakery.
It was made to LOOK just like a pepperoni pizza, but it was really a chocolate cake. BIG FLOP. lol
The kids would barely touch it because it looked so much like pizza.

[Traci Major]

We have 4 kids, and 99% of the time when our kids received invites, it was for only the one child, the invitee played with. I never had a problem with this, as I understood if I had a party for one of my children, we could not invite everyone else's brothers or sisters. We also felt like when one of our kids got invited somewhere, it was special for them. I would never dream of bringing one of my other kids to a party if they were not invited. Puts too much pressure on the host or hostess.
If one of us parents had to go with the child who was invited, the other stayed home with the rest of the kids or we made other arrangements for them.

Have a great time.

[MominPA]

Since I have an age difference with my children, I just invite the ones who my sons play with. Case by case basis I will invite the older child. For instance if my older son knows the older sibling.

There have been instances that I had to bring my younger child with me since my husband had to work. I will stay at the party and entertain my youngest son and pay for his entertainment. I of course tell the host what I am doing prior. My youngest usually gets a piece of cake. This only happens at parties that are a distance from our home. Local parties I just drop off and come back for my oldest.

My youngest has only been invited to a few parties, and his brother was not on the invitation.

[amyfk]

Hi,

Thank you all so much for your input and help. I really had no idea what to do.
A.K.