[beckyww]

The stiletto heels and (no color occurring in nature) red hair on women.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[momraine]

Lets see, first the driving and traffic, then the women in the high heals and italian fashions giong out to haul water from a well becuase they had no running water. The family we stayed with were very proud to tell me they had running water, but you could not close the bathroom door becaue of the hose that ran through the door.
The biggest shock came when my daughter was put in a hospital. That is a whole long story. It was scary!

[amyfk]

We were in Moscow and Tver Region, which wasnt all that far from Moscow. Sounds like Tver Oblast was much nicer than other areas of Russia. I didnt get the feeling it was so depressed.
I was stunned by the amount of traffic in downtown Moscow. Looked worse than NY.
I also was surprised to see tiny villages of only about a dozen homes each out in the middle of nowhere. Some of these villages also looked abandoned. But for the villages where folks lived, I wondered where they did their shopping. There didnt look like there was commerce near many of these tiny villages.
Amy K, NJ

[momraine]

our translator told us that some of those little villeges of little house are actually summer homes. I can't remember the name they called them. But he said most people live in apartments, so they have these little bitty houses where they can plant a garden and they often go there in the summer.
It did seem odd to me to see miles of farmland and then in the center of it, a huge cinderblock apartment building. We were told these were co-operative farms. Our driver lived in a huge apartment building in a one bedroom apartment with his four teenagers and his wife. He talked about how excited they were to get the apartment, because after they got permission to get married they were not granted permission for an apartment until their second child was on the way and had to live with her parents. He also told of being baptized in the underground church. We stayed with our facilitator who proudly told us he was one of the wealthiest men on town. (come to find out he had been skiming from the charity he was supposed to be working for, but that's another story)
Here is a scary thing, when they put my daughter in the hospital I asked to go visit her, and was told that Russian parents are not allowed to visit thier children in the hospital. Our hosts told about when thier son was small and hit his head, he was taken to the hospital and returned two weeks later and they heard nothing during that time and were not allowed to visit. I insisted and we paid a man to let us in a back door. What we saw will haunt me for life.

[Bcelli]

The smell of leaded gasoline.

[ddahl]

The first trip to the baby home was the most shocking. We walked in and there was a long bank of windows and when we peered into the room we saw about 30 cribs with the smallest babies you can ever imagine. They appeard to be newborns. They were all swadled up in newborn receiving blankets with little cribs as neat as a pin, despite the fact that the cribs looked like somethingout of an old I love Lucy episode. I just stood outside the window and tried to hold it together emotionally. 30+ babies and so many families waiting. Its a total travesty there. What a shame.

[lovestruck]

I travelled to Russia before Kaz.
In Russia

The driving!!! Literally being scared I would die EVERY TIME I got in the car in Moscow and in region.

How the people really did wear the same out fit over and over. They spend a fortune on their clothes and look incredible, but really do only have a couple of outfits that they wear. I had heard it, but it's different to see.

The contrast between between Moscow and the region we visited. Very poor.

NO middle class, you are either rich or poor, the end.

The LARGE beer bottles that cluttered the streets.

[DET62]

I, too was quite shocked by the poverty and dirt, the first time I went to Russia in 2003.

The lack of public bathrooms was horrifying. I spent 4 hours one day going in and out of really nice stores in Moscow and not a single one would let me use the bathroom.

However, as many here have commented about the women's fashions, I have something to add. Russian women dress like hookers there because their total aim in life is to GET A MAN. Everything is geared towards that. It's a very 1950's attitude. My daughter was raised with this attitude and since I adopted her at 13, I am having a hard time dispelling this notion.

And, I know a lot of our children ended up in orphanages because women chose a man over their child. Men won't raise another man's child in that culture. This has been verified for me by many Russians.

I am single and I was asked in both my adoption hearings what I would do if I was dating a man who didn't want my child. I said I wouldn't even go out with a man who didn't like my children. I thought the question was ludicrous. I came home and did some research. Russian women know they will have a hard time finding a man if they have a child and that's a big factor in a lot of kids winding up in orphanages. I'm sure it's not true all the time, but it's true some of the time. THAT is the most shocking thing of all, to me.

Dee

[ophelia72]

I have read this post a couple of times and yes too all and every thing above shocked and would apall me if I happen to be involved but what surprised me most is how much we are alike. I have never been outside this country. Ok except Bermuda on my honeymoon but does that really count?
I think of going overseas to a foreign land and it being different. There were pine trees and birch and maples. Just like here in NJ. They planted Begoinias in the court yards, just like the ones I have around my house. I found it pleasant that they drove on teh same side as we do. I like that the traffic lights were red, yellow and green. ( how teh intersections work I will never understand, but I believe CTON means its one way. That's just a guess).
I too believe the caregivers at the orphanage were doing teh best they could and that they genuinely cared. Corruption is everywhere, and with capitalism in its infancy what can anybody expect from a country that has been poor for so long and their history ripe with tormoil. Moscow was NYC for me there was no difference in traffic or people. My husband and I enjoyed our region tremendously. Which too was a pleasant surprise.
But I have to admit. I did limit my intake of fluids before getting in the long car ride for 5 hours. We passed a many a gas station and out far out away from the station I saw those outhouses and I tell you I DID NOT WANT TO GO THERE! Whenever we went out to eat I held it until we got back to the hotel. Adventurous there I am NOT.
Great Post really made me think!

[MominPA]

Our first time in Russia in 1999 was major shock. When we landed in Moscow it was snowing in the middle of May. Walking in the airport and not seeing any signs in English was another shock. Also just being in Russia when you were brought up as Russia being the bad guy. I think that was the biggest shock that WE WERE IN RUSSIA.

Back in 1999 you had to go through the red line and your bags were inspected. You also had to claim things like you camera and any other electronics you may have. Unlike in 2006 you could just go through the green line.

When we were waiting to go into court in 1999, three soldiers came running down the hallway going from door to door with their rifles drawn. My husband and I were nervous, but our coordinator and translator said it was a normal occurance.

In 2006 we were glad to see how much Russia has changed for the positive. It seemed cleaner and greener. Both adoptions were in Moscow City so we never travelled outside of it. Moscow seemed like NYC to us.

[hg808]

>>However, as many here have commented about the women's fashions, I have something to add. Russian women dress like hookers there because their total aim in life is to GET A MAN. Everything is geared towards that. It's a very 1950's attitude. My daughter was raised with this attitude << - I am quoting DET62 who posted before me.

This reply shocks me more than anything else I ever read on this website, and than anything I ever saw in Russia. I cannot imagine how the moderator could allow posting such a horrible, incredibly hateful thing. Ok, maybe someone's child was raised with this notion - but to switch to generalization that Russian women dress like hookers and their only aim in life is to get a man - this comes from an adult woman who should know better than a child and bear some responsibility for what she posts here. We are talking now about women whose life is so much harder than ours, and who still chose to give birth to our children. We are talking about half of the population of the country, where the majority of the women earn their living and raise their children often by themselves. I was born there, and I lived there and studied and worked there, and the statement made by DET62 is simply not true.

DET62, I think that you have to apologize, and the sooner, the better. I am ashamed for you.

[crick]

HG808 - People are allowed to post their opinions and it's not against the TOS to post an opinion. The purpose of a discussion is to do just that. If you disagree with an opinion, you post to that effect - just as you have done. If we moderate someone's opinion of xx and you disagree with it and post, then by your reasoning, if your opinion is seen as "harsh" or "incorrect" by someone else who disagrees with you then we'd have to moderate your opinion as well.

[SingleMama2B]

I agree that alot of the women in "Moscow" completely over dressed and sometimes alittle to proavocatively. I traveled 2 times, and it was in the middle of winter.... even in Winter, the dress was very skimpy. The makeup was also extremely heavy for daytime hours... this was just my observation. I also was surprised by the body odor alot had.... Yes, I understand about the water, etc., but my goodness..... I also think it was the clothes that had the odor verse the people, since they would wear the same or variations of the same outfit practically every day. Cultures are different, and this was noticed in Moscow, and in my darling daughter's village and orphanage. Even the director and caretakers, let alone the children.

I was also surprised that their Micky D's actually tasted better then ours. Almost affraid to actually know what the meat was

Back in 2004 & 2005, the dollar was stronger then now, and that I could get 2 oversized shopping bags full of medicines, bandages, compresses, a blood pressure machine, and 13 thermometers, and 36 rolls of toilet paper for alittle less then $150 american dollars!

Again, these where MY experiences, and in all, I did spend 18 days in country for this small experience.

[momraine]

I traveled in 2000 and stayed a month with a family in the town of sergiev posad. They did have running water but you could not close the bathroom door because there was a hose that brought the water in. The grandmother wore an old fashioned house dress every day. There was a small tear in it and I watched as each day it got bigger and bigger, then in the third week she wore a long skirt and simple blouse one morning but by afternoon she was back in the original dress which had been mended and washed. The man wore the same suit every day or maybe he had more than one, but he smelled like it was the same one. The wife had a couple of fancy outfis and she would wear each for about three days. She always wore high heels and tons of make up. She ran a nail salon and did a great business. The kids each had two outfits, one for school and one for play. While I was there each child only had half days of school because the town could not afford enough teachers. The daughter was ten and was my guild most of the time (she shocked me when she asked me for a cocktail when I took her to mcdonalds, turns out that's what the call milkshake) anyway she was lectured about her behavior and reminded often that she would need to find a man in a few years. The sad fact was that it was almost impossible for single girls to get jobs. Also apartments are not given to single girls. Many families live in tiny apartments and you still (at least in 200) had to apply for permission to get your own place. Owning property was still not allowed, everyone rents from the government. So there are or were very practical reasons for girls to get a man. We cannot judge another culture by our standards. Something that is offensive to us may be normal or accepted to them.

[susan1326]

Exceeded my expectations! Our son was in a very well run baby home which was squeaky clean and cheerful, even though they were in temporary quarters due to renovation. There were lots of toys and the caretakers showed much affection. We met with several doctors who treated our son, and it was clear that they had established a relationship with him. The orphanage director did everything in her power to help with the adoption. When we took him from the baby home at age 4 (he'd been there since birth), there were tears from all adults!
On the shocking side: both in Moscow and in the region we received middle of the night phone calls asking my husband if he wanted to have a beautiful Russian woman come up to our room! He told them he didn't think his wife would appreciate that!
I felt pretty dowdy next to the stylish women of all ages we encountered. The shoes, the shoes, the shoes.....they were awesome and I was in awe of how easily the women wore them all day. I also loved seeing all of the stylish coats--being from Florida, I didn't even own a coat prior to our adoption trips.