[fisbaby]

Hello ladies! I have been reading on this forum lately, normally I'm on the adoptive parents forum b/c our son was domestically adopted as a newborn. I'm currently starting to look into our options for adding another blessing to our family and at times think that Russia is a possibility. I loved picking up my son from the hospital and seeing all of his firsts which I think I would REALLY miss if I did international adoption. Yet part of me is drawn to have the experience of international adoption as well. I would love to hear how you made the decision to adopt from Russia and how your experience was.

[mommyto4]

Welcome, you will get some valuable info from this board. I think one of the big differences in domestic and international, is you will most likely be adopting a child at least 12 or months or older, and it is alot different than adopting or having a newborn from birth. Be sure to educate yourself very well on the attachment/transition period,to include post institutionalized issues and how to handle them. It is a completely different expereince than having a newborn, we have both. With education, patience and support all should be well. International adoption is wonderful and there are so many children in the orphanages that need good families. Best wishes on your journey We had many ups and downs during our adoption journey, but in the end it turned out the way God wanted, and we have 2 beautiful Russian children,that we love so very much.

[kretzklan]

Our decision was made a bit easier by the fact that we did NOT want an infant. We wanted older children and after looking into foster care, we decided on Russia as there are so many older children waiting for homes. However, your situation is totally different - Just a Russia note. We loved the travel, loved learning and seeing the culture, loved the entire process (ok, maybe not the whole thing). Good luck on your decision!

[MamaChinch]

After a failed domestic adoption and few years, I decided on IA, I had intitally wanted to but the DA came up. I was drawn to Russia after knowing a couple of people who had adopted from Russia as well as the requierments for singles not being any different.
In a nutshell:
I trully cherish my entire experience and a had very smooth and fairly quick process. A few bumps, but I expected that. (2006) I've made lifelong friends, have support on this forum, got to go to Russia twice and have a beautiful little girl !!!
She came home at 18 months and only every now and then I had thought about missing her "firsts", but having now been home almost two years, it seems like she has always been here, and she acts like it.
There will be lots of firsts with them anyway, as most of the children have only seen the orphanage. Even at 18 months, 2 days home she LOVED going to Target! etc, etc......
I got information on when she first crawled, walked, sat up, first tooth came in, as she came to that BH just after birth. The best part was, on the second day I had her...she called me Mama!!!! I didn't have to wait!!!! Then all I heard was Mama, Mama....he he!
You need to decided what you want and what will be best for your family, and you will find a vast array of different experiences. And most importantly, be prepared and educated on the issues with PI kids.
Good luck, it will be an exciting journey!

[ophelia72]

Welcome to the group! I chose Russia due to my heritage. It was really a no brainer. I think for you as Mamacinch said you need to deciede what is best for YOUR Family and go from there. Good luck and God Bless.

[angelkisses0102]

Welcome...

The decision to adopt from 'X' is so personal...each family needs to determine what is right for them.

For us, I wanted to be a mom more than I cared about being pregnant or having a newborn. Plus I am of EE descent so Russia really was a no-brainer for us too...especially back in 2002. (The process was much, much quicker back then and the babies could come home much younger.)

Our experiences were unique and worth every bump in the road, every bit of heartbreak, every mountain we had to climb. I loved adopting from Russia and would do it again if it were the right decision for our family.

Adopting from Russia is not for everyone...you must be prepared to parent a child who was institutionalized...who may have varying degrees of PI behaviors, attachment struggles and issues, transitional related issues, have alcohol related issues, who may be delayed and/or have hidden special needs. Children who are relinquished in Russia...well there is a reason they are not in the birth families home...a valid reason why they are in an orphanage.

My kids...DD adopted at 10 months and DS adopted at 8 months old (adoptions were 20 months apart) are on both ends of the spectrum. DD was in a horrific situation and is a true survivor and had really no major issues (other than her survivor instinct...and I know I am not alone in that!) DS came from a great situation and was just 8 months 1 day old when placed in my arms...let's just say he is still on his uphill battle....but man are things so much better than those first 30 months home. He had attachment disorder, he has sensory processing disorder, severe speech/language issues, and was pretty delayed across the board. He is our surprise special needs lil' guy...here is a link Adopting the Surprise Special Needs Child (x-post) that will help explain it better.

All that being said...my children are great kids...perfect children for our family. They give us love, joy, smiles and so many laughs. We are complimented on how well behaved they are, how courteous they are, and of course how cute they are. LOL! DD is a spitfire...very intelligent...a gymnast and a super golfer at age 6! DS is so loving and compassionate...he is our dancer (that boy has some serious moves)...a smart little guy...a daredevil...and all boy (as in sleeps with matchbox cars.)

DH and I have learned so much from them and really we are better people because of them. God knew we could handle so much more than we ever thought possible and of course, He was right.

All the best in your decision.

[Jessi_76]

Good luck in making your decision!

For us, after many, many years of struggling with infertility, all we wanted was a child. The age no longer mattered. While we were TTC, having a newborn mattered, but when we gave up that idea, gave up our will to God's will, we came to realize that adopting from Russia was our calling and despite missing the "firsts" we will have a lifetime to make up for them. I'm certain we won't miss those things with all of the joy and wonder we have to look forward to. DA was not right for us becuase we did not want to worry about the birthmom changing her mind six months after we brought the baby home from the hospital, and we felt VERY strongly that every baby born in the US and given up for adoption would find a loving home as there are waiting lists a mile long. The children in the foreign orphanges are not guaranteed that, or anything. We wanted to use all of the pain we went through to make a difference where it would matter the most. However, I agree with the PPs, it is a VERY personal decision and must be made solely on what's right for your family.

Best of luck on this magical journey...what route God leads you down.