[MissDaisyofTexas]

Hi! For those of you who traveled to Russia with kids already at home, who watched your kids while you were traveling? Did you feel comfortable leaving your kid(s) with someone else? Did you take your kids with you on either trip?

We recently started paperwork for adoption #2. We have a 4-year-old that we adopted last year. We are hoping not to take him with us on Trip #1, but would like to take him on Trip #2 (and DH and DS would leave after court and I would stay during the wait). I was hoping that one of our family members would volunteer to live in our house for a week and take care of him while we were gone on Trip #1, but so far nobody has volunteered.

Thanks.

[Kasey]

We are very lucky to have all our family live near us. Our son who was 2 1/2 when we traveled for little guy number 2. For trip 1 he stayed with BIL/SIL at their house for half the week then to grammom/poppy's house for the other half, we picked him up there on the way home from the airport. He had been home since 5 1/2 months of age, so he had very close relationships with everyone and had spent lots of time at both houses.
We contemplated brining him on trip 2 but it was because we missed him so much, but after hearing how well he did, we knew it would be too rough a trip for him and with our second guys health issues, we were worried about a rough trip 2.
For trip 2, he stayed 2 nights at BIL/SIL house, then my step mom took over and stayed with him at our house for a couple days, then my mom/step dad (grammom and poppy) came and stayed the rest of the week at our house with him. So either than 2 nights he remained at our house on his schedule for trip 2. They brought him to the airport to meet us and his new brother.

I probably wouldn't wait for anyone to volunteer, just ask and see their reaction. If you don't feel it will work or you wouldn't be comfortable, then you will have to bring him or maybe someone will want to accompany you to help watch him on trip 1?

It is extrememly hard to leave your child, so unless you feel absolutely comfortable and he feels comfortable with whom he is staying. Also since he has only been home a year, how is his attachment, how will he do if you leave him or how would you anticipate his reaction being back in Russia?

[beckyww]

For trip #1 - a friend (no kids) insisted on coming from Dallas to watch our three school-age DD. So she stayed that week.

For trip #2 - A retired friend stayed w/them the first week. Then my niece from Houston drove in to watch them the second week. Nice, because it put her here to meet Julia, then age 6, the night we arrived home.

I prepared a binder to keep on the kitchen counter that was the "brains" for anyone staying w/the girls. The usual phone numbers. Medical releases. Printed mapquest to schools, church, basketball practice locations, the grocery store, etc. Cash. Appliance warranties. "Rhythms" - bedtimes, when the trash guys come, what time the mail arrives, the grocery store hours, how long to expect it to take to drive somewhere, etc. Closest 24-hour pharmacy. Printout of their medications. What noises are normal for the dryer, water softener, etc. Whose houses they are allowed to go to and when. How to work the voice mail. What to do if the computer does "this." It was very handy.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[Shark01]

On the first 2 "1st trips" we left our daughter with friends. On our recent 3rd "1st trip" we decided to take her (8 yrs old) with us since we would have (and still would if this one also falls through) quit should something not work out and wanted our daughter to see her home country at least once.

If we get to travel back for court, we would leave her here for the court trip (again with friends, or fly Grandmother in from Florida to house-sit) and take her on the pick-up baby trip.

[momraine]

When I adopted from Russia it was back in the day when it was not the two trips. I went and stayed a full month but dh only stayed the last two weeks, for court and paperwork and we came home together. So for the first two weeks I was gone dh was home. He was working so my preschool aged son stayed with grandma and my older son went home from school with a friend and he stayed there until dh got off work and they just bached it together. For my last adoption dh and I were gone first for ten days and then I was gone six weeks wtih dh with me the first three. For the first trip and for the first two weeks of the second trip my very good friend (who already has six kids of her own) took my three, got them to shcool and activities and was just wonderful. She had to have surgery the last week, so we had planned to farm them out to three different church families. However one of the church families was a grandparent raising his grandkids and he ended up in the hospital, so my sis in law, took off work and came here and stayed with the kids for that final week until dh got home. She also took them some of the weekends before that to give my friend a break. I am blessed with a very good friend!

[AngFL]

Ironic this was mentioned as we are currently stressing about this very thing!!!

My parents live 15 minutes away, but my divorced sister and her 2 kids live with them and my mom basically takes care of EVERYTHING for all of them (and has for the past 3 years). My sister will not put her kids in afterschool care while she works, so my mom has them everyday.
So, now we will have a one week trip and then a 3 week trip to Russia for this adoption and we need help for our 2 kids here at home. The logical thing is for my parents to come stay here while we are gone and take care of them for us....a total of 4 weeks, for ONCE in all of our lives. They have NOT offered, but we have basically told them we need them to do this for us. They have not mentioned it at all, but did look shocked when we told them the second trip would be 3 weeks. They are just not very supportive of anything in our lives, never get excited for us over anything and they are very negative.
So, DH is still insisting that we will both stay during trip 2 and they will have to stay here and take care of our kids. I am not looking forward to this.......every time we call to talk to the kids and check on them, it will be full of complaining about how bad the kids are, how they fight and asking us when we will be home and it can't be soon enough. This is what they did when they kept them for 5 days for our 5th anniversary trip. They will moan and complain about it forever.........even years afterwards we will still hear about how they had to take care of our kids for us to adopt from Russia, blah, blah, blah! Just exactly the kind of stress and crap I need while I am going through this adoption and time in Russia. Right?

Ugh! If only we could come up with the "perfect" solution!
Good Luck to everyone on this one!!

[Katie63011]

We have adopted three times, so for a our second adoption, I did two one week trips and my husband stayed and waited out the 10 days and his second trip was 20 days. All our family lives out of states and all have jobs or kids of their own. We paid a former daycare teacher who did babysitting for us to stay with our son. She was 25 and very responsible. DS at home was 2 yrs, 9 months old. He did fine. He got teary on the phone with us, but overall did okay. I definitely think having me go home instead of having us both gone for three weeks was the best thing we could have done. It certainly helped him transition to life with his sister.

During our third adoption, it was a one trip process but three weeks in legnth. I was a wreck about leaving the kids that long. We had the same sitter come and stay. Both kids went to half day preschool/daycare so we upped it to full time as our sitter (same one from our first trip) was working full time for the school district as an OT. I am not going to lie to you, it was really hard to be gone from them and feel so far away for three weeks. Did they survive - certainly, but my daughter would have done better with the transition if one of could have come home sooner like the previous adoption.

Personally, I think paying someone you trust completely is the better way to go. I could call the shots, make the schedules etc. I em'd the kids daycares to see how things were going, had friends give her a break and check-in. At one time, one of my family members talked about flying out to watch the kids but it would have been so much work to set things up so that she knew where to go etc I found it easier to use the local sitter/nanny.

Katie

[MissDaisyofTexas]

Thanks everyone for your responses and ideas...I guess I'll work up the nerve to ask MIL (that would be our best-case scenario).

[Bcelli]

We took are then 5YO No. 1 DS with us on trip 2. He turned 6 in the city of his birth and it is a trip he will remember always. He went to court with us, as well, and unlike another Amom, we did not leave him in the courtroom gallery playing a video game. As a matter of fact, our translater had to find another chair because there were only three at the petitioners' table and we took them all. :-) No one seemed to mind, though. DH went on trip No. 1 solo because of a lot of reasons, primary among them - our No. 1 son and the fact my passport renewal was in transit somewhere.

If you haven't had a volunteer, I would certainly request one if you have that kind of relationship. Often, people don't say or do anything because they aren't sure what to do or say to help. Giving suggestions might ease the way for them as well.

Good luck.