[GCS]

Along with what Angelkisses says about food allergies there is a great reference book "Is this my Child?" by Doris Raupp. I originally bought it for DD knowing she had food allergies and had some major aha! moments concerning DS and his food intolerances (and mine too!) affecting his behavior. A definite must read!

[angelkisses0102]

Oh GCS just reminded me...you may also want to look at the GFCF (Gluten Free Casein Free) Diet or the Feingold Diet...

[ddahl]

I had to check before I replied because I though there is no way my 4 year old could have made it all the way to your house and be mascarading around as your son but what the hay! I had to check any way. LOL! In all seriousness, suffice to say I have been living with this from the first week we came home from Russia. Its bleeping exhausting. I could have typed evrything you did and more.

I will not talk about PI or attachment related advice because somedays you just want to be a regular Mommy. Most of the behavior may just be typical boy behavior, but some of it goes too far. The only advice I will give you is to say that your son totally has your number and he has you on speed dial. My son does too. Stop everything you are doing and take an observation week or if you feel he will just level the house, take a few days to observe. I just finished doing the same. I came up with a responsibility board and so far its working. We are 5 days in and his bvehavior which has been pure doodie for 2.75 years has miraculously improved. Time out, losing privlidges, nothing works with my son. We feel we may be on to something. We just had a add/adhd eval and are awaiting a referral. My son is not bouncing off the walls so we could not figure out what it was. All we had was "he won't bleepin" listen and I do mean he won't. I will post a picture of our board. in a later post. Also, I have had to dig really deep to find out what exactly he does care about to know how to make it punative when he does not follow the rules. Right now he has some lightening mcqueen shoes that he calls race shoes. You can not imagine the mileage I can get out of those shoes. Find the in! p.m. me if you want to talk.

Please don't think I am not subscribing to attachment issues etc. , I am but thats only part of the cause and at the end of the day we have to find a way to live in our homes with these kids ans happily not frustrated every day. We can not be run by 4 year olds. I am focusing on solutions that work and having some luck. We will be exploring medication if we can not gain some ground in the next 8 months ( ped. says no meds until 5). We simply can not live in a house of lunacy . My prayers go out to you. Its hard, very hard.
If you need to talk, I would love to! Hugs!

[MamaChinch]

Ah, yes, added on to what Dixie said....I like what Dr. Phil says, "Find your child's currencey and USE it!"
My sister's step daughter was one of those who was motivated by seemingly nothing, it took them a very long time and finally found out the horses were her currency. Gosh parenting is tough!

[MominPA]

Welcome to the world of boys!

The other week it was only around 60 degress and a cool wind, my 5 year old came into the house soaking wet from his head to his toes. It took his sneakers two days to dry out. I found my 10 year old outside the same way with the hose in his hand. The 10 year old "claimed" the the 5 year old told him to spray him and then he sprayed himself so he would be wet too.

We are under a crayon band in our house after numerous conversations that you only draw on paper. The newly painted bonus room has some "creative" art work on its walls.

My youngest and his friend (not adopted) were swimming in a puddle at the playground after both sets of parents said not to go near the puddle. This was last weekend.

My oldest's son friend (not adopted) pushed out his screens in his room one day. The same day both boys came home cover in mud. I got a call from the mother (the PTA president) saying she had no idea what they did.

My oldest son and another friend were over one day. I told them to stay away from the empty lot next to our house since when it rains hard that area gets very wet. Well, lets say the friend was the first to go in that area and of course my son followed. This time I had to explain what happend. The mother laughed and said boys will be boys.

My husband went to pick up my oldest son from a sleep over party. The boys were have a wrestling match just wearing their underwear since they were hot.

It drives me crazy at times,. My DH is one of four boys and my MIL claims this is how her boys were too. My DH when he was younger use to take the toliet apart to see how it worked.

I started reading Raising the Spirited Child one day after my oldest was driving me insane. It was given to me by my son's mom, the PTA president. She only read the first couple of chapters and realized that her child isn't going to be the "model" child and to accept him they way he is. For every habit that drove her crazy it was the same habit that made successful people successful.
My realization was after working in the emotional support rooms this year in our school district is that my kids may not be perfect but they are kids being kids.

[ddahl]

Oh! I forgot to mention that my darling son has decided to pick all the paint off the wall in the hallway. Conveniently this is where the time out step is. I thouoght wow he seems to really be staying put. Probably because he can sit there and pick off my wall paint! UGGGGGGG! Its boys I tell you! Its got to be a chromosme thing ! LOL!