[DET62]

A couple of things struck me as I read this.

One, I was 5'4 in the 4th grade and a bean pole compared to the other kids. Then in 8th grade I had not grown any more [never did] and I was among the shortest in the class. Kids grow at different rates.

I would wait until she is older and more mature to tell her about the tests. I would also leave her where she is grade-wise. My son is now 11 and in the 3rd grade. When he came home last year he was only in the 2nd grade in Kazakhstan so I had no choice but to put him in 3rd grade. Now, he's growing a lot and I'd like to skip him. The most important thing, though, is not size, but maturity, I think.

Good luck -
Dee

[GCS]

Personally, I would not push her up. How do you do this at her age without having to explain it to school, etc. It would put a lot of stress and unneeded attention on her I think.

We wondered last year if our son was really older than we were told. (turns out he's not) I spoke with an IA doctor and he told me to never push them up or try to make them older. They've already missed out on so much and then having to play catch up makes things more stressful.

I think that in a few years these things even out and she will be the same as others in her grade.

Just my thoughts.

[mjkkbbr]

Thanks for all of the replies so far.

I would really like been there/done that responses if available. PMs would be great if you wish to remain private.

Our DD is in private school now. We chose that for class sizes but it is very lacking in extra help where needed. It is also academically about a grade level above the public school so she won't really "skip" any material by jumping a grade. We were probably switching schools regardless of her test results. But given the knowledge we have we need to decide to place her in 4th or 5th. The public school principal says we need to place her where she is socially and emotionally appropriate. Then they will assign the appropriate curriculum for her needs. I would like to put her into the age appropriate grade for her current birth certificate. Then technically she is a grade below true age instead of 2 grades below. Graduating High School at 20 years old just seems unfair.

We probably will not correct her birth certificate as it is not absolute proof.

My main reasons are not just her size and physical development. She gravitates to older kids (those that are truly the same age) in large groups. She is already uncomfortable knowing that she is older/bigger than her classmates. She is very sweet and very social but plays with older kids by choice.

[Jessi_76]

What a difficult situation. I'm sorry. It truly must be a confusing time for your daughter and your family.

While I have not been through this myself, like other PPs, I have been a teacher and coach for performing arts schools and public schools. I taught and coached gymastics for many years to children ranging from age 4 - age 18, and I must say, in that middle age group - from 8-11 or so, I have always noticed drastic differences in the sizes and development of students the same age. Naturally, like anything in life, it will inevitably be tough when you feel left out.

There will always be faster or slower developers at any age. My sister got her period in second grade at age 8. I had young students who started very early as well. You just never know, but I suspect that your daughter will not be alone in this, and that within a year or so, she will blend in.

Perhaps you can tell her that being tall is considered by many to be an extremely beautiful and attractive feature.

I think private school was a wonderful option and I wish you all the best of luck.