[rejola]

Our son, Alex, will be three in May. We have been home for about 1 1/2 years. Everything for the most part is incredible; however, we are suddenly having an issue that is driving us wild.

We put him to bed and think he is heading off to la-la land and we go to bed. He has been getting up, getting ice cream and a spoon and going back to bed with the full container. After three nights of this, I threw out the ice cream and last night he did the same with a full box of pop-sickles. He has always been a good eater (although some texture issued when we first got him) and likes to snack on anything he can get his hands on. He is normal size, not chubby at all so it doesn't seem like he is eating more than he can handle.

We don't want to over-react if it is due to being "hungry" at some times during his stay at the orphanage. His survival instincts are second to none. He can help himself to anything and everything he seems to need or want.

The ice cream thing is bothersome because, he doesn't care what kind of mess he makes and last night he left the refrigerator door and freezer doors wide open when he was done shopping. He had Rocky Road ice cream all over the bed and carpet.

After we got him cleaned up and put back to bed, we tied the doors (side by side doors) together so he couldn't get back in.....but now we are concerned that if he is really hungry, we don't want to cut him off from food and we want him to know that he is welcome to anything in the house within reason.

What do we do? Has anyone experienced this? I will also include that it seems to be only sweets he is after.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

Rex

[DET62]

I would never allow him to get food out of the kitchen and eat it in bed - that's a bad habit for him to develop. You need to tell him he can have a snack before bed, but then nothing until breaklfast. He won't starve. I think you should punish him if he tries to get food out and eat it in bed.

I tell my kids they can have anything in the house, within reason, but there is NO eating in their rooms, and they have to ask me for snacks.

You need to get control of him NOW, because when he gets bigger, so will his misbehavior.

Dee

[momraine]

One thing that some people have done for kids who are worried about not having enough food is to give them a sealed container (plastic box type or big bowl that has a seal lid) and in this box keep some single serving typs of snacks. Like single serve sealed bags of pretzels, fruit snacks, cheese crakers, etc. Then tell the child that when the box is low he is free to get more snacks. We have a set of plastic drawers and one drawer in the fridge that are "snack drawers" The kids can get a snack out of there anytime they ask. They do have to eat in the kitchen. I keep snacks in there. I usually buy a big bag of like pretzels or a box of goldfish and then I put them in snack size zip lock bags. I also put grapes and cut apples and baby carrots in the zip lock bags. I also when we get close to the bottom of cereal bags or boxes put those in the bags for snacks. The box in the room helps kids who are afraid of running out of food, many of them never even open the packages they have, it's just the security of knowing it's there if they need it.
I also don't keep a lot of sweets in the house and they never get them for snacks. when we have ice cream for example it's a treat and they only get it with permision. Usually on Friday night which is our family night.

[MamaChinch]

Delaney had been saying she is hungry after getting into bed, and I was just thinking it was a stalling tactic. So she usually has some milk after dinner and I started putting some instant breakfast in it to full up her tummy and it seems to be working. But she has been growing like a weed lately and eating al ot, so I think that's the issue with her. Maybe if he has something that will stay him longer at dinner or a snack after dinner, like more dense foods, that will full up his tummy while he falls asleep.
You need to find out of he is really hungry or if he is worried about not having any food.
We also keep the bottom drawer of the fridge full with things she can just go and get and eat, cut up veggies and fruit, cheese. She has a basket in the pantry she can reach with other snacks I keep there just for her, crackers, raisins, cereal, etc.
Has he said why is doing that? I'd try making sure you know he had a full tummy and enough to eat, then see if he is still wanting the ice cream. Then you will know it's something else. He is also at the age where they start learning they can successfully stall at bedtime or after.....good luck!!

[justmp]

I don't really have a suggestion for stopping the behavior, but I don't think it's necessarily a PI issue. My nephew, four years old and "home grown" has been known to do the same thing a few times in the past couple of months and my sister has been surprised each time.

[kazmumtobe]

could this be something like "hoarding" behavior?

???

[kretzklan]

I am probably in the minority, but we are mildly strict about food and when the kids can have it. One of my children came home with major food issues and to us, we felt that it was important for her to understand that we made smart decisions for her. My kids are not allowed to get food whenever they want. We have set meal times and allowable snack times. They don't get into pantries or fridge/freezers without permission. We also have a strict - no eating anywhere except the kitchen rule. I agree with an above poster that this could get worse instead of better if the "law" is not laid down. I think the idea of child-proofing the fridge and cabinets is a good one. At three years old, he needs to know that you are in charge - of everything...even food. Perhaps a healthy snack before bed - or even a little sweet snack (one scoop of ice cream) so that he can be fulfilled. Good luck!

[momraine]

I guess we are the combination between strict and not so strict. I do have the snack drawers, but they have to ask if they can have a snack, if I say yes, then they can choose for themselves what snack to have, if I say no, they get into trouble if they get it anyway. Though usually they can't get away with it. I have my computer in the kitchen, a small tv I watch sometimes also in the kitchen, and both the laundry room and my bedroom are off the kitchen, so I am usually very close if not in the kitchen. I would only allow a child to have the container of food in the bedroom if they truly had a fear of not enough food. My daughter was very young when she came home, but she did not get enough to eat there. When she was small she had a bottle of water in her room all the time. Now she usually has something sealed in her nightstand drawer. We periodically go in and change it out, but she never eats it. She just needs to know it's there. The other five kids in my house have no such fears, so they are not allowed food in the rooms, though my teens often sneak food into thiers, but since the little ones really do sometimes go out of thier way to bug them, I sometimes look the other way and let them have something in their room, but I remind them to bring the trash or dishes back down and they do.
I think the key is finding out what his reasons are. If he is really hungry then try the bedtime snack idea, if he is afraid of not having food, then you can try the emergency food supply idea, if he is just doing it because he can then the laying down the law and possibly locking things idea.

[MamaChinch]

Oh, yes!, she must ask to get something to eat, but she her drawer and basket are what she can chose from. Eating is only at her little table for snacks and big table at meals, no where else in the house!
This little guy is probably just trying to express his independence...oh, and maybe he is hungry! Mine cannot opent he fridge yet, but I have a lock on the pantry, also.

[Bcelli]

Kretz - you may be in the minority, but you are not alone. I too control food intake, when, where, what and how much. They do get choices so it's not a Nazi regime, but I am heavy and do not want my children developing unhealthy eating habits.

With that said, our younger son is 6 years old. He came home at 2.5 years old with a serious sweet tooth. When we received his daily schedule at his adoption, he ate 4 meals a day, with the last one being at 9 p.m. At home, the boys can eat at the table or, on occasion, at the table in their playroom, but nowhere else. My youngest frequently will sit at the table with some of his favorite foods and say his stomach is full and he can't eat another bite. (And we're not talking large portions here.)If I then ask if he would like some candy for dessert - he's answer is a resounding "YES!" So the truth is that he's not full, he just wants candy. He's a junkie.

For Alex, I would ensure he goes to bed with a full stomach -- a small portion of fruit or hot cereal is a good choice for sending little ones off to la-la land. And I would reiterate the house rules about where, when and what he can eat. As long as you know he is getting plenty of healthy food to eat, he'll be fine without the midnight runs.

I considered that our youngest might have had some food issues when he came home because he had never been exposed to choices and plentitude before. But I knew he was being well-fed and at appropriate times, so if he wanted something late at night - tough. New life. New rules. Kids are much more resilient and flexible than we usually give them credit for. But being kids, they will always try to push the margins to see where the lines are. Even at nearly 3. Until you can get him trained out of this behaviour, I would set the alarm and check on him periodically. He likely isn't actually hungry, just craving a sweet and exercising a little independence and mischief.

[ddahl]

AHHHHH 3 year olds! He is probably just getting food because he can. I have a safety lock on my fridge because my son is small and frankly he really could get stuck in the fridge if you think about it. At 3 he went through the phase of "I can do it myself" and I laid down the law. No food without asking.

He does not have a sweet tooth but he is independant to a fault in the food department. Like an above poster mentioned, he will say "my tummy all full" then want a bowl of fruit immediatly without wanting to eat his protiens. Not acceptable. He must make a dent in his plate (protien) then he can have a snack or fruit etc.

I believe most kids will not over eat and that we teach them to over eat. Just my opinion. The scarey part with your sons late night raids is that he could choke and you might not hear him. (drama queen I know but still...)

I might try the fridge lock or a baby gate or set up some coffee cans as a trap so he knocks them over and you can hear it and get up or a very simple door lock tha tyou can latch before you go to bed. The racket he will make the first night or two will drive home the point that he must call for you if he needs something and can not go prowling about. Tell him every night at bedtime that he must stay in bed! If you need mommy then call me loud like this MOOOOOOMMMMYYYY! I had to teach my son how to call for me. He said I called you like dis MAHHME and you don't come. Few practice runs with louder calling and trust me I hear him every time!

Perhaps too in the morning you can give him a little box like a shoe box or a tupperware. You could decorate it together with fun stuff. Allow him to pick out 3-4 snacks and an "Emergency Hungries" snack. If he is feeling like you might run out of food then he will always know he has an "emergency Hungry" snack available at all times. I would also let him take the snack box where you go, in the car etc. so he feels he has some control over his food. He will be eating for the rest of his life so some control in my opinion is a good thing. I might also do this if you absolutly have to:
Tell him getting food at night is a big no no without mommy and daddy. Make a snack box for yourself when you make his (if you decide to). Keep it in your room. Tell him no getting food without mommy or daddy and have him awaken you and get food from your snack box. It might not be quantity he is after. He just may need to know its there. The need to eat is primal instinct and his urge to find food might just be overwhelming right now. If he gets up and needs food, give him something small. You could even use a freezer ice pack in a lunch box so you could give him a small tupperware of yogurt, say three large spoons and thats it.
I know! I know! Flame away! Flame away! Its just my opinion that these kids were hungry, some very hungry lying awake never knowing when or if food was coming. If it were me I would not mind getting up with him because it will not last forever. It might suck doing without sleep but it keeps you in control. Some of my most special moments are in the wee hours of the night all alone with DS. I have spent the last year and a month getting up with DS every night....knock wood, he has been sleeping through the night. I am so tired its unreal! The thing that gets me through it is I tell myself I am making up for all the nights no one came. He deserves me.

Good luck!
P.s. Fridge and freezer lock are stick ons and I got them at babies r us in the safety section, they are white.

Good luck!

[mommyto4]

This behavior sounds pi related, he hasn't been home that long to have these issues resolved, also since you mentioned "His survival instincts are second to none" a sign this is likely effects from his life in the orphanage. You may also try getting an opinion from a specialist who deals with post instutionalized behaviors. Best wishes!

[angelkisses0102]

Originally Posted by mommyto4

This behavior sounds pi related, he hasn't been home that long to have these issues resolved, also since you mentioned "His survival instincts are second to none" a sign this is likely effects from his life in the orphanage. You may also try getting an opinion from a specialist who deals with post instutionalized behaviors. Best wishes!

I tend to agree 100%. One other thing...my DS MUST eat at night...right before bed. He typically has a piece of chedder cheese and then one bottle of pedisure mixed with rice cereal in bed. That is followed by some water. Is it a PI behavior, a fast metabolism, or something neurologically related to either his SI issues or potential alcohol related issues...who knows. All I know is my kid must eat right before bed.

Good luck....