[Sally26]

What were you instructed to do? What did you spend? What did you give?

We were told something like have 6-$60 gifts and 6-$30 and not made in China. We put them in bags which our translator went through fished somethings from some bags and put them with other things... I'm not sure the care takers got anything but the champagne and cake we delivered on the day we got dd, but I know that the social worker got her gift as were with our driver when he delivered it to her office. We also put together little gifts for our driver with a monetary bonus.

I didn't spend that kind of money. I bought gifts 80% off after Christmas. Pallets of eye shadow that Target sold in the Christmas section back then for $8.00, flannel pjs, a bunch of regifted teacher gifts... for our driver the pocket warmer things from Lowe's, a little tea pot and cup with tea and jam for his wife and a hip name brand wallet for his son gotten at Ross. Most everything was from China-hard to find Made in the USA. I just took a permanent marker and marked out Made in China like it was the price.

I understand that Russia is a gift giving culture, but I still felt uneasy about the gifts. I loved my coordinator, but saw her with my own eyes take back some of the cash we gave the airline counter personel for our luggage weighing more than the limit for the group. She didn't know we were watching from the second floor down to where she was (may be she had to give it to the pilot). She and her staff did take us to five course meal with champagne and vodka toasts and wouldn't allow us to pay anything.

Bribes are a way of life in Russia and I know our adoption wouldn't have been as smooth as it was if the wheels weren't well greased. Our coordinator truely cares about the children and had been responsible at the time for more than 600 adoptions. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, except that I have conflicting emotions, but I'm so grateful to all who helped us bring home our baby.

Maybe this thread can help those struggling with what to buy and how much to spend.

[SingleMama2B]

Hi Sally....

I also did alot of 'sale' shopping prior to my trips. The first trip I took, I took gifts for the children. This wasn't necessarily told, but I did know that there where ALOT of children, and that the village was very poor. I had NO IDEA how poor it was. I was devastated to see this village and the children, and the conditions. Anyway, I took a huge suitcase full of hats, gloves, mittens, scarves, school supplies, craft supplies, candy, tooth brushes, tooth paste, some children's Tylenol, etc. For the bit of meds. I took, I had arranged prior to my trip for the translator/facilitator to write the correct dosage on the bottles before they where given. For my DD's 1st grade class, I knew howmany children and male/female #'s, so that on trip 2, I would bring a special gift for each child on the day that we would leave the orphanage. I did buy leather change purses, leather wallets, mini bottles of perfume, brooches, writting paper sets, book marks (as the older women are veracious readers), and a Lenox china ornament (I traveled Dec & Jan. and I live 3 miles from a Lenox factory outlet!). I bought (as I stated in the other post) the "Orphanage Gift" while in country. 12 thermometers, a blood pressure machine, 2 LARGE handle shopping bags full of medicines, bandages, antisepetic, toilet paper, etc. All cost equaled $150 USD! Here, this quantity would have run more like $300+ honestly, and these where items that they asked for when I was there and asked them directly!

For my translator and driver (who I became friends with, and we still email each other 3 years later), I gave a leather wallet and change purse to. HINT..... It is appropriate to put a few coins into such a gift. It is viewed BAD luck to recieve a 'money holding' gift with out change in it. I also, because I wanted to, added some paper currency (my choice).

What my Agnecy suggested was extremely vague, and basically just told what gifts would be inapproriate to their culture.... i.e. soaps.

[MominPA]

We bought some silk scarfs for the director, social worker and doctor of the baby house. We bought these at Century 21 in NYC (discount store similar to Marshalls but much larger) while getting some last minute documents apostilled.

For the caregivers we bought a bunch of Avon cosemtics; lipstick, eye shadow, eye liner, blush and nail polish.

We weren't given a dollar amount on what to spend, but not to buy "cheap" looking items.

[votemom]

i actually put a lot of thought and time into the caregiver gifts. i may have been naive or stupid, but i figured i could only be responsible for what i did and i didn't want to regret not showing them my appreciation for the two years of care they gave our daughters.

our agency did give us a specific number as to the different shifts of caregivers, so that everyone would get one. i hope they all did.

i made up gift bags (once in region). i put in everything from things made in my home state to vegetable peelers. other items were nail polish, lotion, gum, mints, pens, pencils, notepads, cute plastic drinking glasses, and other stuff. i even put in a new paring knife for each one. i remember when we visited siberia in 2004 and having a new kitchen knife and vegetable peeler was a very big deal. they also each got a kitchen hand towel. the gift bags were stuffed full. and i made sure that they were all items i would love to receive myself.

my husband was annoyed with me that it took up an entire extra suitcase. but oh well ;o)

lastly, i put in a personal note. i typed it up on card stock and did each one scrapbook-style with border and stickers. they all said the same thing and were very heartfelt. i asked the translator to make sure to translate one of them and leave it with the director so they would all know what it said.

i'm saying all this just becuz i really HOPE it inspired the caregivers to keep working hard and lovingly at caring for the kids. they need to be reminded that they are making a difference in little lives. yes, i know there's a huge cultural difference, but i hope i communicated that what they are doing is important and appreciated and valuable.

i have NO CLUE if each caregiver got their gift bag. but, i have no regrets about going thru the "hassle" and expense of doing it.

[kretzklan]

Our agency asked that we not buy gifts for those people that were employed by the agency. That included our translator and driver. We did take them out for two large meals on each trip...when we needed to stop we always fed them.
They asked us to bring gifts for the caregivers (there were 4 for each child), the doctor and director of each orphange.
For the caregivers we took nice makeup bags (large ones) and filled them with girlie goodies. Nail polish, oil of olay face lotion, costume jewelry and lipstick. For the director and doctor we took a nicer jewelry set - ring, necklace, earrings (although I noticed they wore mostly clip on earrings), a pair of leather gloves and a glass jewelry box.
At C's orpanage we found out he had a bank account with about $400 US, due to his father's death (kind of like social security?)...we closed that account and gave the money to the director (we wouldn't have known about the account if she hadn't told us and our translator agreed that she probably told us with the expectation of getting that money).
Our agency uses part of our fees to purchase each orphanage a larger contribution of their choosing. Our translator found out what they wanted and she purchased it and gave it them when we went to pick up the children. One home asked for a TV with a DVD player and one home asked for a washing machine.
So, those came "from us".

[MamaChinch]

We were also instructed not to buy anything for those who worked for the agency and that gifts for the orphanage staff would be purchased for us, as well as our monetary donation included in our fees. I did take a gifts for our translator, driver and rep on trip 2 and gave them as we left for the airport. We also asked the BH what they needed and we were told they needed diapers. A family there the week before bought the BH irons.
I am so glad we didn't have to worry about gifts!! The three I brought were regional gifts, a t-shirt, cap and coffe mug that said San Francisco on them that I picked up at the airport on our way. We bought a cake for the caretakers the day we picked up the kids, but that was it. One less thing to worry about! Someone who went after me said our translator wore the t-shirt I gave her.

[SingleMama2B]

I was not asked to or told not to give a gift to my driver and translator... it was my choice. I had the same driver and translator for both trips, and they where wonderful, and made it as much fun as possible in such a stressful, jam packed 2 trips! My DD's orphanage was only 62 miles outside of Moscow, but it took almost 4 hours one way by car! Spending that much time in the car (almost 8 hours just for the daily orphanage trips), we got to know each other very well. Again, this was my choice

[kahoxworth]

We were told we could give gifts only to those individuals with whom we had developed a personal relationship. We had one person who was our driver, facilitator, and translator all in one, so we gave him a thank-you card with enough cash to buy something nice or take his (fairly large) family out to a nice dinner. We'd been told not to give cash, but after meeting him on our first trip it was clear to us that was what he would prefer.