[mcanvasback]

I have been doing a ton of reflecting on motherhood lately; maybe because Isabella just turned two and is growing up so fast - maybe because my friend has her little girl newly home and I am kind of reliving the early months.

So, anyway, this may sound silly but I was wondering - was there a pivotal moment for any of you where it just hit you unawares - like OMG - I am a Mom - I got my baby, she/he is home! ( I mean, besides the obvious - total life change, sleepless nights, infant/toddler food on your clothes, house turned upside down!)

For me, it was shoes - I bought Bella her first pair of little sneakers when we had been home 2 months.
Her babysitter left them in the foyer one evening and when I went out to get the paper the next morning I saw them sitting there under the hall table, so tiny and cute and it hit me like a ton of bricks - those are my baby's shoes! She is here! Sleeping in her crib! Made me cry.

Anyone else have a "moment"?

[ddahl]

I think I called you with every "MOMENT" but here are a few highlights...

DH wears those cotton ankle socks and after we had been home for just a little bit I was folding the whites and I picked up DS little sock and DH big sock and we both looked at each other and we were just like WOW! We did it! He is home!

Another was when we had been home 5 months and DS and I were in the yard. I was picking up some weeds and he toddled over and said " I luuuuh you". I think it was Feb 28 2005. The best day ever!

The most pivotal time in my motherhood was when I was pushed by my employer to essentially choose between family and work. I was working 0 hours a week and commuting 2+ hours a day. I had been home 1.5 years or just a little less. I was at my desk in my lovely office and I had just had a conversation with my regional director. I called DH to tell him I resigned. I just flat out could not and would not miss another moment with my son. I have always worked but this was the limit. It hit me that I had to choose and the choice was DS. No regrets! Miss the money and the title but we are doing fine as a family and my relationship with DS is so much closer. He is finally able to securely attach since he actually sees me now.

I have the moments all of the time and I get a bit choked up. Mostly though I think its the love I feel for DS. Sometimes I watch him sleep and I cry every time. He is without a doubt the most beautiful angel I have ever seen.

OHHH I might have a moment right now! Great thread Melanie!

[Kasey]

I had a moment before we left to pick alek up where I was washing all his little clothes for the trip and I just sat down and cried, it was like, OMG after all these years I am actually washing clothes for my child.

Though once he was home I still felt like baysitter for a while, but about 3 weeks home he had to undergone a CT scan of his head and it hit me while he was being sedated, how much I loved this little guy and how he was my whole life.

[kretzklan]

I remember the moment with Delaney. When she first came home there were lots of tantrums. I just felt like a person with a job of holding her until she calmed...never felt a connection or sorrow for those episodes (sorry if that sounds mean). When she had been home about 9 months we decided to start gymnastics. She is genetically talented and she was SO excited. She hadn't tantrumed or really even cried in about 4 months. We got to the gym for her first class and they wouldn't let her in. They had messed up the dates and the class was testing and since she hadn't been there, so couldn't test. I was upset and trying to talk her way into the class, at least to watch and I felt her holding my leg. I looked down and saw the little tears running down her cheeks, but she was fairly calm. Just hurting inside. I started crying with her. I'm sure the people thought we were nuts. But, I felt her pain. It seems so simple. I didn't want her to be hurt. Then she looked at me crying and said...Mommy don't cry, I'll be OK soon.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I don't remember the exact moment with Cole. But I do remember waking up one day and being excited to get him up for school. I knew then that I had passed through my PAD. I was feeling like a mommy to him and wanting to see him and take care of him.

[dlhall]

Mine's a little gross, but so true. My moment came after Natalya had been home for a few months; she was picking her nose and said "here, mom" and handed me her booger. And I laughed and said to myself, "I'm officially a mom!"

But the moment I feel head over heels for her was one night when she was sick with a bad cold, and I couldn't leave her side; I held her or slept by her bed most of the night. I was so afraid she'd quit breathing in the middle of the night.

Liz

[mcanvasback]

dhall, I know exactly what you mean - the same booger incident happened with Bella and me. I was honored - ok I'm official!

Luckily, she's never been really sick - I can only imagine how awful it must be.

[ddahl]

Ditto here on the boogie scene! Its some type of right of passage I think! LOL

[Jpride]

I too have experienced the boogie.

I would have to say that my "moment" was shortly after we got home and DS was on the toilet. He always wants me to hug him when he is sitting there. My husband walked by and chuckled and said wow he is our boy! Tears were in my eyes as they are now thinking about it.

[MamaChinch]

Boogies seem to be the "it"! We were driving in the car one day a while back and Delaney says, "Here, Mommmy," with her handout to me. I cound not see what she had in her hand. So when I asked her, she said very simply, very matter of fact, "Nose, take it." It was a moment where I went, she just expects me to take it, no worries, that's my mom and she takes my boogies! Gross, but actually cool !!! :-)
The other one was not to long ago, I think I posted it, when a few kids in one day called me , "Delaney's Mom". The last kid was in the supermarket and I started to cry!

[Jessi_76]

I've spent nearly a year reading these forums now, although I haven't really posted much. My husband and I are currently waiting for our referrals from Krasnoyarsk, Russia and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your stories of when motherhood truly hit you. I cannot wait to feel that sheer joy! Your stories have touched my heart -- I cried, and I laughed reading them! I look forward to receiving my first boogie.

Thank you for making my night!

[russianadoption]

My moment was nearly 8 months after we got home with our now 3-year old son. It was this past December when I was standing in line for him to see Santa Claus. We were waiting and it hit me while I was standing there, that I am waiting with MY child. It was surreal. It doesn't seem that long ago I was waiting to see Santa

[magee]

With ds #1 I felt like his Mom immediately. He was born in the U.S. and when I walked into the nursery a nurse handed him to me, wrapped like a tight little burrito in his blankie. The nurse looked like Aunt Jemima and she said cheerily "Here yo baby!". I cried on his little face.
Our second, also domestic adoption, took longer because it was out of my state and I had to stay in Kentucky for 3 weeks until the paperwork cleared for me to come home. I was afraid to fall in love because the birthmother had 21 days (AFTER I got back to my state!) to change her mind. When those 3 weeks plus 21 days were over I felt so relieved and let myself fall madly for dd. Until then I had to pretend I was babysitting.
With ds, our third, it took awhile from when we returned from Russia. There was alot of turmoil as kids jockeyed for position in the family (# 2 & 3 came home within 3 months of each other). Some tantrums, attachment work, learning how to gel as a family. After a year home ds is speaking English much better and a month or so ago he wrapped his tiny arms around my neck (he's 3) and said "I love this happy house. Love my Mama Bear". Oh, my heart! I love them all so tenderly that sometimes my heart could burst. We are ALL so blessed in this house!
Thanks for this heartwarming thread.

[amyfk]

I dont think I had a specific AHA moment, and no nose picking moments luckily, but sometimes I just stare at my kid and I'm in shock that I'm her mom. It still feels "unnatural" for me sometimes when she calls me mommy because I was waiting so long to hear those words and also because I now feel that I'm kinda old that I'm someone's mom.
Amy K, NJ

[SingleMama2B]

This may sound silly, but I have toooo many to write down. We are home now 3 years, and DD is 11+ years old. She AMAZES me EVERYDAY! Everytime she says "Mom", "MaMa", "Mommy", and yes, even "Mother", I am amazed that I am this wonderful girl's Mom.

I hosted DD when she was almost 8 years old (Summer of 2004), and the first morning - 4:00 AM mind you - I get woken up by this little bird laying next to me. She is playing with my hair bangs. Just sort of petting them, and softly saying "MaMa, MaMa"..... I opened my eyes and started crying! This was NOT the moment that I thought to myself.... yes, this is my little girl. It was actually 9 hours before..... When I saw her at JFK airport..... I KNEW it!