[amyfk]

HI to the List,

I hope everyone had a good XMas for those who celebrate.
About a month ago I posted because our child starting a hitting, biting, scratching phase.
I have tried to explain to my kid that you want to "make nice" to those you love.
Unfortunately over the past few weeks we are still seeing bad behavior from her.
The other day she hit my husband in the face before bed. She likes him to stay with her before she falls asleep so I sent him out of her room as a "punishment."
Earlier today when I was fixing her pajama pants she bit me through my pajamas. Luckily she didnt break the skin, but it hurts.
We both have scratches on our faces as well.
We have talked to her, slapped her on the wrist, put her in time out in a corner, took daddy away from staying with her to fall asleep and we've put her in her room for two minutes.
Is this a phase many 2 year olds go through? How do you know if it's a passing phase or if the kid needs a kiddie therapist?
Thanks for any experienced folks out there.
Happy, healthy new year to all,
Amy K, NJ

[heikewould]

Amy,

You are not alone. Please read the thread regarding the little one who hits mommy in church. There are some great responses there.

As I have said, Samantha's one long phase from 16 to 36 months was hitting and scratching. (no biting) We tried time outs, spankings, swats on the hand, swats on the bottom, taking away privilages and leaving situations and fun places. She is now 3.5 years old and a couple of months ago the hitting and scratching stopped. No more. It's gone! My advice, that I did not stick to is, whatever form of dicipline you use that you stick with it for 30 days. (it takes 30 days to make or break a habit) It is a phase, it will pass. Whatever you use make sure it's in the same order each time. She needs to learn what's at stake. Time outs do work. You need to keep her on a chair or floor and keep saying "the time does not begin until you stay put and quit yelling." (The yelling may not be helped the first few times) If she gets off the chair, say nothing and place her on the chair again and repeat that the time does not start until she stays put. We have a timer that I put in plain sight of her. The act of over and over again will sink in. Perhaps not as fast as you would like it to but one day you'll look at you DH and lo and behold you'll discover she hasn't hit in weeks!!

I see you adopted from TVER. Samantha was at the Teremok Baby home. And yours?

Good luck, stay strong. I say to Samnatha when she's misbehaving and won't stay in time out, "Beleive me little one, I can do this game longer than you!"

[MamaChinch]

There is usually a phase kids got through in their two's of hitting, biting and scratching, so it is typical. As long as it is not done with rage and it can be quelled with some sort of disipline. Delaney went through a VERY brief period of hitting and biting and I directly put her in a time out. Luckily, it was short-lived and a typical phase for her age, and the time outs stopped it. I typically give her a warning before a timeout, but did not for biting and hitting and throwing. However, if it continues and you cannot find a solution to making it stop, I would first seek advice from her pedicatrician.
Aside to what Heike said, I once spent one hour trying to make her stay in her 2 minute time out! As long as they DO NOT win, you can stay ahead of the game!!!!

[amyfk]

Thank you both very much for your help and your reassurance. I really appreciate it. I will keep up with the time outs.
Heike, we stood in Tver City, but Joanna was in Kashin Orphanage, which was a two hour trip from Tver City. So we would spend four hours in the van everytime we went to visit her. The other couple that traveled with us accepted a referral from Teremok.
Happy New Year.
Amy K, NJ

[MissDaisyofTexas]

Hi Amy--

We brought our son home at 38 months old and he would hit us when he was frustrated. At first I tried just talking to him, but since he didn't really understand us, it wasn't much help. So, we started the time-outs. After about 3-4 weeks of consistently putting him in a time-out automatically when he hit, he stopped doing it. We are so happy that he moved out of that phase! I hope that you are able to find the thing that works for Joanna.

Best wishes!

[Sipper]

We brought our DD home at 17 months. Around two she began biting kids in day care. I was signing an "incident report" nearly daily, either her biting or someone biting her (the biters seem to stick together). She really did just stop one day and has never done it again. She is now 3.5 and other than the occasional whining, she is very well behaved. My DS, on the other hand, is going to be two in February. He came home at 10 months. He has started to pull sissy's hair and tackle her to - you guessed it - bite. Neither are in day care now so it is not that influence. It really seems to be a phase and they do get past it. I was fortunate never to be my DD chew toy but daddy got it often. DS only goes after his sister and we dealt with both with timeout. Good luck. You will make it thru!

[ddahl]

It is totally a phase. Ds bit too. I tried it all and believe me that little guy has sharp teeth! What worked for me was several things. Bite back and a flick on the lip. No more biting. After months of no biting, he bit my husband last month when they were wrestling. The ygot carrie daway. We only spoke to him about it because honestly DH lets him get too ramped up. It will pass!

[amyfk]

Thank you all very much for your assurances. I appreciate it.
We just came back after spending a night in Atlantic City without Joanna. Last night my mom told me on the phone that Joanna has been a "perfect doll." LOL.
I will keep up with the time outs and the consequences and we'll go from here.
Happy new year everyone,
Amy K, NJ