[ddahl]

Well, I am prayerfully considering switching to Kyrg, China or Kaz from Russia. DH and I had a long weekend away and some time to talk on our 3 hour car trip about Russia's program. We feel that the in country medical expectations are not for us. We can't change the Russian laws so we are prayerfully considering our options. The three trip thing is really financially ridiculous in our minds as well. I have known someone who adopted a beautiful girl from there and had an all things considered excellent process. The baby is beautiful and smart. I guess at the end of the day I always saw my second child coming from Russia. In the last few days my heart is changing. I just feel so tired of the Russian dog and pony show. I am sad to even be considering leaving Russia behind but its not a stable program in the best of times and the money! OMG! Even if you have the money when you look at it on paper its just ridiculous. My agency does not operate in Kyrg but does do China and Kaz. Can any Kyrg people give me their agency information. Are they even open now? I am sad about thinkig about this but its just where I am at. I am not going to mae any for sure decisions until January I think. Once the holidays are over we can totally focus ourselves. maybe its just a moment of fear but I just can't be sure.
Thanks for letting me share!

[Ktates]

Oh Dixie - hang in there - there are a lot of things to consider and cost is certainly one of them. I was very surprised to find out how much other countries were...but you guys definitely need to do what's best for you all around!!! It's great you had the chance to talk it through before committing though!

[mcanvasback]

Well, I must reply to this. You know how I feel about Kyrg, all about my process, and how wonderful my child is. I am going to email you pictures of the child my friend will pick up 11/25, who will be 6 months old upon arrival home. Her process took less than 9 months start to finish with a slowdown, mine took 7 mos. There is a Yahoo group, you should join. I will PM you the link Kaz might be hard for you, with your family and business situation as the in country is 5-7 weeks, China is now I believe a 3 year wait, if that is not correct, in any case it is so long that many are going to Kyrg to adopt while they wait for their China referral, with their agencies blessing.

[maddensmom]

If I were not knee deep in the domestic process I would be trying for Kyrg. And if there ever is a #3, I truly hope it is still available for me. China's wait from LID to referral is about 2 yrs now.

[tbristow]

Dixie,

We've looked around at a few others too, but for one reason or another, we've ruled them out. I have a friends who will wait about 25 months for a referral from China (she's in 23 now). They told her 8-9 months originally. I follow a site very closely and know that it will get much worse before it gets better so there is 3 or more years wait if you decide on that. Kaz, I don't know about, but the in-country stay eliminates that for us. The Ukraine forum and blogs aren't very promising for that country either. The home study agency we will use does Azerbijan but there are a number of reasons I don't feel safe doing that one either. It pretty much comes down to Russia again or it doesn't happen. Are the medicals that much worse than what we discussed over the phone?? The expenses are bad though I've seen a few other countries that are worse. Other than one fee that was added, the only difference is trip 3. I figure I can scale back the first two trips enough to about cover it. And what's another 4K in the grand scheme of things is the way I have to look at it. DH has something brewing and I figure that if that works out, it's my sign to go back. I feel drawn to Russia and come heck or high water (or a new plastic spectrum if ---EWWW!!--that's what it comes down to!!), Kayden will come from there too.

[Amysue1112]

Oh Dixie..I know this must be so hard for you...but I COMPLETELY understand. Even though I am can only imagine a second child from Russia, the reality is I doubt we will be able to go there again either. It is very sad...but at some point we all have to look at the big picture. What a ridiculous waste of money to have to take 3 trips..and that is money that takes awa from our child. I don't know anything Kryg except from Mcansback..adn we all know what a doll baby she has!! I do have a friend waiting in China and it is a VERY LONG wait...like they are telling them 2 1/2yrs or more now.
Good luck in your discernment..I hope you get a very clear message on the right direction to your child! Prayers for you and hugs to you..

[amyfk]

Take a deep breath...things will work out. Just as most folks have probably thought they would have a bio child(many adoptive parents), they then came to the point that that may not happen and then they looked into adoption. Just as you thought that Russia was the place for you, as you do your research I am sure you'll see other viable countries with great kids for adoption. This is only a bend in the road, not the end of the road.
As for Russia, I really dont blame you. I honestly dont understand why the system gets harder and harder with each passing year. The folks know that there are somewhere close to 700,000 orphans in the country, so I dont understand myself why the hoops are getting higher and higher to jump over. I too dont understand about the three trips system and I would just be too nervous about the medicals to move forward with Russia again.
Although we are probably at our journey's end, I would honestly also be looking elsewhere if we were to do another adoption.
Enjoy the holidays and think about it from time to time, but dont let it affect your enjoyment of your son and the holidays. I would browse the other boards here. You may find from them where you feel your heart leads you this goaround.
Best,
Amy K, NJ

[kretzklan]

It is such a hard decision. It's great that you and DH can discuss it and come to conclusions together. I also have a friend waiting in the China program and she has been told it will be 3+ years for the whole process. I know the in country stay in Kaz is fairly long (or at least it was when friends went 2 years ago). I hope you find peace with whatever you decide.

[Teekay74]

Jumping over from China board! The China cost is quite reasonable. BUT- This wait is crazy, and pretty unpredictable. We are on month 20, and no referal in sight.
I don't recomend it at this time. I keep hoping I'll be surprised soon.
Good luck on your journey!

[TweetyMom04]

Thinking of your during this time.
I think you are wise to wait on making a decision until after the Holidays.

[angelkisses0102]

Well after spending the weekend with Miss Bella I would suggest Kryg...

Kaz has a warm place in my heart as DD's first mom is Kazakh...if you can stay most of the trip by yourself with your DS and your new DD it might be great for all of you. But the in country portion is very long.

China...I don't think I could get into any program where the wait is 3+ years...who knows what could happen during that time with the program and with your life...that is a very, very long time.

Good luck...

[pahlsm]

Jumping in to add my 2 cents worth. Our DD is from Krasnoyarsk Russia and we are pretty sure her mother was Kyrgy as she is Asian. We brought her home Feb 2005. It took us 2 years to complete our adoption from Russia and with all the issues going on with that program we decided not to return. We are now waiting for our 2nd DD from China. When we decided to adopt from china the wait was about a year which was ok for us. We know now that the wait might (I say might because we never really know) go to 3 years. For us the wait will be long but China is a very stable program and I feel that even though the wait is growing it will stay a stable program which is what we wanted above all. I can do the time as long as I know we will bring our DD home. With Russia there are to many risks for us. We almost lost our DD to the system and I could not go throught that again. I would do China again even though the wait is long, as I know in my heart we will bring her home. I do think that Kygy is a great option that seems wonderful, but our agency doesn't do adoptions there and we really love our our agency and wanted to use them again. I know how hard this must be for you and it takes so much out of you to make a choice and be sure it is the right one. Take your time, and research. China is very affordable all things concidered in IA. I hope that you find an answer and know that this group of people is wonderful and will be there to support you! If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

Hugs and Hope,
Kathleen

[Pinkie]

Which ever country you decide Dixie, will be the right decision. Good Luck.

[k8c]

TOUGH decision, Dix. I know lots of happy Kaz parents...but he process is not very stable and there is a long time in-country. China has a l-o-n-g wait but is more predictable. Kyrg seems to still be pretty new...

[randloar]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this!! You are in a tough position and I hope you find your answer soon!!

If it helps any, we never made it to Kaz but that was where we both felt was meant to be our country, so when we finally did give up and switch over to Russia after losing many referrals because we were never approved on paper, I felt this gap and sadness that words couldn't explain. It was tough to fall for Russia when that wasn't where we started off or where our hearts were drawn initially, and we had finally taught those around us where Kazakhstan was and how to say it!!

Fast forward to now........I can't picture not having any child but our two cuties and have decided that things usually (eventually) work themselves out, and you may not travel the path you set out on, but you get to the destination and may have fun along the way!

Hang in there, our thoughts are with you during this tough decision making time!!!