[momraine]

Tell me about the books you have found helpful in yoru journey.
Books on adoption, books on Russia, books on learning Russian, books on parenting, books on RAD, books for kids to learn about Russia, books for kids to learn about adoption, etc.

[beckyww]

"Attaching in Adoption" by Deborah Gray - definitely the best. "The Russian Adoption Handbook" by John Maclean was a good operations reference.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[dlhall]

My daughter's favorite book is How the Russian Snow Maiden Helped Santa Claus. I'm not too sure who wrote it, but we both love how it introduces and explains some of the Russian Christmas traditions.

I also liked The Russian Word for Snow by Janis Cooke Newman. This is a person's true adoption story.

And as a resource book, I like Raising Adopted Children by Lois Melina. This touches on many issues faced by adoptive families.

[votemom]

i think TheRussianWordForSnow is really good for someone considering adopting from russia.

it's not an advice book or anything, but it gives one family's account of their adoption journey - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

it unromanticizes things and makes you look at things more realistically (the process, that is).

[GCS]

I always recommend PAPs get the Russian Adoption Handbook right away - before even choosing an agency. Its a bit dated but a great reference still.

Building the Bonds of Attachment and the Love and Logic books were good fits for me.

Adopting a Toddler, The Weavers Craft and Attaching in Adoption were good books.

The Sensory Sensitive Child and the Out of Sync books are very good.

[k8c]

All good choices above! I also like The Pumpkin Patch (memoir) and First 1000 Words in Russian (Usborne, available through amazon.co.uk) as a resource for children newly home--and ap's with little Russian travelling! It's got pix, English, Russian and phonetic Russian pronunciation.

The book The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog is an excellent, easy read. It's about how trauma (neglect or abuse) impacts brain development at different stages and what can be done to help. It's a great book with lots of focus on how loving relationships (as opposed to therapy and specialists--N. Gray's opinion) can be a tool for healing.

[britfish]

For kids books we love, Tell me again about the night I was born by Jamie Lee Curtis and Over the moon. We also like a book called On the day you were born. Its not adoption related but its about birth and how the earth prepares for a baby being born. Its nice because there are no refrences directly to parents, just about people being there when the baby is born. It is nice to have a book about birth and preperation for birth but not have mom and dad refrences.

[Chris3148]

Before the adoption the books we liked were "Attaching in Adoption" (heard she has a new one too), "The Russian Adoption Handbook", "The Russian Word for Snow" and "An Empty Lap".

While working through attachment we loved "I Love You Rituals" and "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline", both by Becky Bailey.

Kids books we have, but to be honest we don't love them but read them anyway are: "Boris and the Burps" , "Over the Moon", "When I Met You", "Nickolai the Only Bear", and some about Russia..."A to Z Russia". "Look what came from Russia", The Smallest Matroishka" and "How the Russian Snowmaiden helped Santa Claus".

[angelkisses0102]

My favorite books in no particular order:

Adoption Parenting; Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections by Jean MacLeod & Shenna Macrae

This BRAND NEW book (July 2006), jam-packed full of information on adoption parenting, is a MUST-HAVE RESOURCE book. At just over 500 pages, it's all in here! Topics include: sleep, claiming, language, food, baggage, discipline, loss & grief, transitions, siblings, narratives, learning, school, race, older child adoption, challenges, support, therapy, & journey. This book is relevant for parents at every point in the adoption journey; you'll find yourself turning to it again and again. It is destined to become a classic.

Adoptive Parenting From the Ground Up by Katie Prigel Sharp

This a HIGHLY recommended book. When many of us began our journies, resources on adoptive parenting, brain development and other issues critical for the infant who waited were found to be sorely lacking. This book explains the science behind early brain development and applies it to adoptive families in a concise, friendly, honest, and positive manner. We believe that EVERY ADOPTIVE PARENT should read this book.

Attaching in Adoption; Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray

Highly recommended introduction to the attachment process.

Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, 2007, published by Perspectives Press.Deborah Gray, once again, addresses the primary issues that parents and professionals confront when they become involved with hurt children. She has something for just about everyone in the adoption world! Her detailed examination of many cogent issues will help anyone whose life is touched by children and adolescents who have lost so much prior to their adoptions and yet have so much to gain in their new families. Reading Gray's work will leave no stone unturned.

Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love by Robert Karen

Ever wanted to know what studies John Bowlby did and how he drew his conclusions? Curious about the development of Ainsworth's "Strange Situation" that led to various attachment disorder types (ambivalent, avoidant)? Want to know what happened to normally attached toddlers when they were separated from their mothers due to hospitalization? This comprehensive (500pp.) volume covers the history of attachment studies from 1937 to its publication in 1994. Adoption is not mentioned since the studies were done with biological children.

Becoming a Family; Promoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child by Lark Eshleman

An EXCELLENT, quick introduction to the topic of attachment in international adoption. This book answers just about every attachment question imaginable:

1. Why do attachment problems happen?
2. What preventative methods can the adoptive parent use?
3. Who should come to the airport?
4. How long should you keep friends/family away while you work on bonding?
5. What should you do about sleep?
6. Are young babies adopted from foster care situations at risk for attachment problems? Why?

Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel Hughes

Hughes wrote this fictional story to describe the life of a child with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). In it he takes you though years of failed foster homes and failed therapies until the right diagnosis is made and the child starts getting help. Commentary helps the reader to understand why some traditional parenting techniques and therapeutic methods fail while the appropriate ones can lead to immense success. It's a fascinating read and although the child is older and has more severe attachment issues than most of our families are dealing with, it aptly illustrates the principles behind good treatment.

The Handbook of International Adoptive Medicine: A Guide for Physicians, Parents, and Providers by Laurie C. Miller, M.D.

"Presents an overview of the medical and developmental issues that affect internationally adopted children, offering guidelines for families and physicians before, during, and after adoption." Topics include institutionalization, specific country considerations, prenatal exposures, effects of early stress, growth & development, infectious diseases & other specific medical conditions, neurocognitive and behavioral issues. Over 400 pages of information including many studies.

Holding Time by Martha G. Welch, MD

Although this book was not written to specifically address adoption, it introduces a strategy designed to promote bonding between any mother and child. For many of us, holding time was a first positive step toward attachment.

It is important to note, however, that children who are adopted may react more intensely to the holding experience than other children.

The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Integration Dysfunction by Carol Stock Kranowitz

Many children with attachment and trauma issues also have SID, sensory integration dysfunction. This book helps parents to recognize SID, gives tips on how to help the child at home and provides ideas on finding professional assistance. The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun: Activities for Kids with Sensory Integration Dysfunction by Carol Stock Kranowitz

Presents activities to strengthen the abilities of children with sensory integration dysfunction at home while having fun.

Therapeutic Parenting; It's a Matter of Attitude! by Deborah Hage, MSW

This book is small, but mighty! Deborah Hage, a renowned attachment therapist, and a mother to two children by birth, seven children by adoption, and therapeutic foster parent to five other children, presents an immense amount of information on how to parent a child with attachment issues. Her experience with one of her own sons, adopted at six months of age, has given her insight into what life is like as the parent of a child with attachment disorder. The suggestions are concrete and can be used immediately.

Todder Adoption; the Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best

Although this book covers toddler adoption (and is a must-read for those adopting toddlers), adoptive parents of attachment impaired infants have found that they can relate to much of the book as their babies grow.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge

This is a book that I know I would have resented and attempted to ignore, had I read it as a pre-adoptive parent. After having a child diagnosed with an attachment disorder, I am able to appreciate it in a different light. Eldridge has given me insight as to some of what my child may be feeling and experiencing. Although it's hard to read about the harsh reality of what some adoptees experience, it's good to know.

When Love is Not Enough; A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD by Nancy Thomas

In attachment therapy, this was the first book that our psychologist suggested we read. The first several pages explain what causes attachment disorders and lists high risk signs in infants and keys to bonding. Although later content focuses primarily on older children (although parents of preschoolers may want to check out "strong sitting"), Thomas does help parents to understand the concept of taking control in order to help the attachment impaired child to feel safe.


Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic (Paperback)
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
In Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's first contribution is to redefine the "difficult child" as the "spirited" child, a child that is, as she says, MORE. Many people are leery about books that are too quick to "type" kids, but Kurcinka, a parent of a spirited child herself and a parent educator for 20 years, doesn't fall into that trap. Instead, she provides tools to understanding your own temperament as well as your child's. When you understand your temperamental matches--and your mismatches--you can better understand, work, live, socialize, and enjoy spirit in your child. By reframing challenging temperamental qualities in a positive way, and by giving readers specific tools to work with these qualities, Kurcinka has provided a book that will help all parents, especially the parents of spirited children, understand and better parent their children.

[angelkisses0102]

Here's a couple I know nothing about but look interesting...they are attachment in bio children...not adopted children.

Mending the Broken Bond: The 90-Day Answer to Developing a Loving Relationship with Your Child (Hardcover)
by Dr. Frank Lawlis

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Md Mate

[momraine]

Bumping this up, we are complining a list and so post any more suggestions you have. Kids books on adoption, adult books on adoption, Russian books, RAD books, etc.

[DET62]

I found the John Maclean book really helpful in both my adoptions. I am also reading Deborah Gray's new book, Nurturing Adoptions, and it's excellent for parents of toddler or older kids, who have usually been removed from the home due to neglect and/or trauma.

Also, I have written a children's book about an 8 year old boy who is adopted from Russia, and it's called Jack's New Family. It's available on Amazon. It gives a good idea of how kids feel about being adopted. My daughter, adopted from Russia when she was 13, gave me a lot of great material. It's in Russian and English. Parents have found it helpful, too.

Good luck!
Dee