[ddahl]

We are going to a conference in Orlando and my in-laws are coming down from NY to stay with DS. We will be gone for 3 nights returning on the 4th day.DS could have gone with us but after 2.25 years without an adults weekend, we could use the time uninterupted. Just to be a couple.

My in-laws have been an active participant in DS life since we came home. My MIL have made sure that they see him at least every 2-3 months even if its only for a weekend. He follows direction well and loves his Poppy. Poppy is a really big kid so they get along beautifully.

I am feeling that because we are not going to be home that I should leave a detailed list of expectations, notes about the routine, lunch box rules and food do's and don'ts etc. I know its family and I totally trust them but maybe I am having a bit of separaation anxiety over this.

I never used to worry when I was working and had to be out of town as DH is a beautiful father and totally perfect with our son.

I would appreciate knowing what some of you have done to set up some ground rules... or not. THey commented that they wanted to take DS to see his Great GRandmother who lives 5 hours from our house. I do not want this and had DH put the Quash on that idea. The point of them coming was not to do a road trip but to keep the routine the same.

Am I over controlling? OK! Don;t answer that! LOL any ideas on how to give them the rules in a respectful way?

We are so excited to be going away together.

Thanks so much!

[mom2M&A]

First of all I'm sure everything will go fine. Your MIL will probably try to be pretty careful about routine so she gets another chance sooner rather than later.
But...my experience is that bedtime routine will change a little (exp. we got to watch tv and eat popcorn AFTER bath w/grandma!), so just write down the usual routine and she can make sure everything gets done.
Times for lunch and dinner are important and any snack times, but just suggest menus. I usually couch it as we eat at x and x so if you start to see whining he might be hungry...
Your son will be worried about when you will get back, so you should have a calendar or explainations of when mom and dad will be back. Also set up some time for phone calls.
also if it's like our house where turning on the tv/vcr is rocket science leave directions for that stuff and where favorite videos are. my mom couldn't work my oven and I got a call about it. Try to do that over the phone!

[Ktates]

I second what mom said - write stuff down - including how to work the tv/dvd remote!!! My parents watch dd frequently but I still write it down or go over it just in case they forget. You might want to include a list of local activities or things to do at home (like where the park is or he is in a lincoln logs/playdoh mode these days!)

And yeah - I wouldn't be having the 5 hour car trip either...your first weekend away from him isn't the time to be totally screwing up his schedule!

[beckyww]

I recommend pictures w/the instructions on the remote control. Just paste them into a WORD doc. That's what I've done for our babysitter.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[angelkisses0102]

I have only left the kids three times (twice was to adopt Alex) and I leave extensive lists (like 10-12 pages) of what I expect...the do's and don'ts...when, how much, what to feed...what not to feed....sleep rountine...bathing...important telephone numbers...really every litte thing. I left detailed directions to the ER, the doctor, the dentist, the park, the vet, Mickey D's...all the important places. I left the instruction manual for the ear thermometer since on trip one they couldn't take DD's temp. I contacted daycare and the doctors office (left POA when we went to Russia) to let them know.

Yes, fully explain remotes, AC system, anything that may confuse them...

[cathvash]

Oh, a weekend away..!! <sigh>

First, try not to worry too much- Somehow your MIL raised her own kids! I know it is hard to be away. I had to go to a weekend conference last year, and I was the only one who fretted. Everyone else made it through just fine!

It might help to be SURE to state the rules in a way that makes it clear these are NOT rules for your MIL, but basic instructions for care for your SON! I could see how a grown woman might not react well when presented with a list of rules for her to follow.
-Present it as "his" rules.

Also, once you make a "draft" of the instructions, look again to see how you can minimize it to the very least restrictive set of rules you can live with for a weekend. Remember that they are doing you a favor... Be assured that they WILL spoil him, keep him up too late, and feed him junk - that's what Grandparents do! I'm afraid putting any of these things in the "rules" would only make them annoyed unless they see that it's absolutely necessary. If he has food allergies or health issues, frame the restrictions in that light.

Have a wonderful weekend!

[cindyc]

Congrats on the weekend away!!! I'm insanely jealous!!!

For what it's worth, I would also veto the five hour trip elsewhere - too much disruption in the routine, too much additional stress, best to stay home in a safe, known environment.

Have a ball. Your son will be fine.

Cindyc

[Kasey]

We only left Alek when we went to Russia for Maks, but I left detailed lists on routine, his likes, dislikes, where things are, the prayers we say at night.
I also left a notorized letter so they could make medical decisions in our absence. It all worked out well.

Enjoy your time together!! We have our first adult trip for our 10th anniversary coming up in January, just a long weekend, while we are so looking forward to it, we also get bummed about leaving the boys, but it is good for us to have that time together.

[TweetyMom04]

First time IL's watched the Boys, it was for 4 days. We wrote down instructions of house alarm, local maps were in the van, what the Boys like to eat and don't like, nap schedule, eating schedule, play, etc. We also left my IL's a cell phone to use - in case.

Most importantly, leave a POA naming those who are authorized to look out for your child in your absence. Dates you are gone, emergency contact numbers, etc. PM me if you'd like a template to use.

DH's Parents drove the Boys around locally to parks, shopping etc.

When we flew overseas to house-hunt, we left the Boys again with DH's Parents. This time it was 7 days. We drove up to NJ from GA and left them the same information especially POA. They drove to PA from NJ and visited with DH's Brothers' Wifes' Parents. They spent the night and came home. They also did local driving in our van and into NYC and had a wonderful time.

We trust their judgement and decisions. They raised 4 Children, helped with 3 Grandchildren (who live locally)and we were 13 hrs away via driving and now not living in the states. So the time they do spend together is precious and a little spoiling is okay with us.

Most important, remember to enjoy your time together. Everything will work out fine.

[jeni-b]

DH and I have never left DD at the same time, but when I left her I was very nervous. It was for 6 days and she did suprisingly well.
One thing I did that DD really enjoyed was to make a paperchain to tear off for each day I was gone. On each one I wrote a note and an idea of something fun for her to do with daddy. She also got a suprise everyday - I got things like headbands, new pj's, nail polish, nothing over the top, just fun little things.

As for the car trip, I agree that wasn't a great idea. A kiddo who might be missing mom and dad might get irritable on that long of a car ride.
I'd map out some fun spots that your son likes to go and leave that for the ILs.