[angelkisses0102]

I asked this elsewhere today but I really wanted to share my great experience last night!

Do you associate in real life with other adoptive parents? If your child has a special need(s) do you get together, again IRL, with others who are in the boat as your family?

Last night we had the open house for DS's special needs preschool/pre-K program. OMG as much as I love all internet friends...last night there was this instant click with every other family. It was so amazing...we all immediately understood each other with no inhibitions. We were able to talk about our kids without explaining or fear of judgements. We could laugh at ourselves and our kids and it was OK. I knew when the teacher said 'We all talk funny here' it was out of love for us and our kids (the program is language based so the kids all DO talk funny.) We are planning on getting together at least monthly outside of the program as the kids also do so much better when interacting with each other outside of teh classroom and in the real world. There was a birthday party of one of the girls this past weekend and while we missed it...the success *our* kids had in a *normal* environment like a McD's playground was amazing. The joy and pride the moms had while telling those of us who missed it was so heart warming! It is the little things like having your kid finally climb up on the slide that others take so much for granted and simply can not understand why it is huge for moms like us!

We also try to get together with other adoptees...mainly Russian adoptees. This Sunday we are having a big get together and we are all so excited!!! (See the other thread about that.)

Karen

[mcanvasback]

That's great - it is like a built-in support group. While I can't relate on the SN level, I know as a single first time mom, I just love even talking casually with parents of two year olds!

Also love to get together w/ other adoptive parents. And as a real bonus for me - one of my good friends who lives in my neighborhood! is adopting from Kyrgyzstan, same orphanage as Bella!
So, my answer is emphatically, yes, I love to get together with people with whom I my child and I have something in common.

[ddahl]

Yes! Yes! Yes! A friend of mine recommended I get together with another mom who has a son with a similar personality and I immediatly felt better after doing it. Both of us have sons who are a handfull and noone quite understands you lik esomeone who has walked in your shoes.... or trudged in your high heels! Its wonderful for the children but its especially rewarding for the parents.

[momraine]

I do when I can. There is an on-line support group I am part of where the kids have the same special needs as mine and they have a yearly gathering that I love when we can make it. Many of those kids are also adopted which helps. The hospital where my kids go sponsors a camp and the kids get to bring one adult, nearly half of the kids are adopted so that's also a great time to get together with other adoptive parents of special needs kids. I have not been able to get together with other RAD parents yet. I live in a small town and there are only two other Russian adoptees, both boys much older than my kids adopted by the same family. I have not gotten to know thier mom well yet, but they don't have any of the issues my son has.

[amyfk]

I also cannot speak on the special needs level, but recently I have started getting together with other adoptive moms for playdates.
One gal in my area sought me out on the Yahoogroups because she was looking to meet other adoptive moms from NJ.
I also socialize with a lady who adopted a gal from Guatemala who is Joanna's age. We met up through an acquaintance who knew the both of us and put us in touch.
I do enjoy getting together with such folks.
Amy K, NJ

[MamaChinch]

I've made great friends with some adoptive parents I met in classes and elsewhere. Yes, it's nice to not have to explain things and everyone just "gets" it.
On the other hand, Delaney has also made friends with some kids in her gymnastics class and it's nice to also spend time with them and just be a "mom" ...if that makes sense. It's nice to have both!

[GCS]

I do but not so much the whole family. I have people I see from adoption (international and domestic). I have recently been seeing more moms that go to the same therapy center we do. OT, speech, etc.

But we dont really do to much as a family with other families. Its more the moms for us.

[SingleMama2B]

Hi Karen... It is cool that you where able to gather and click....

I do talk with (on the phone, internet & in person) with other adoptive parents.... there are 2 families that have children with learning disabilities and we have talked at length. I have learned and hopefully along the way, I have in some sort of way help to teach.

[cathvash]

Think I'm still in denial about being in "a boat"!!

Having that support is so wonderful and important. I should do more of that, and stop being such a social recluse! It's hard to find/make the time to spend with other families. You should keep it up if you can. It sounds like you could form some really tight bonds with these other families!

[mschweber]

My daughter is currently in a "group" session with one other boy. It was suggested as an experiment since they both have many of the same issues. Of course they have become fast friends. My daughter wants a playdate but unfortunately we live on opposite sides of the therapy site so while we both have a moderate trip to therapy it is a long trip between our homes. DH has had some opportunities to bond with the boys mother while the kids are in therapy however.

2 of our closed friends each have an adopted daughter, one domestic, one from China. The girl adopted domestically is 6 months younger than my daughter. We do not see them that frequently becasue we live a distance apart but the two have become great friends which should be important when they get older and need to talk things over. The other friends child is still quite young so has not really bonded yet with my daughter.

We have a third issue - being older parents and there two friends are our age so it great to have that support as well.