[mcanvasback]

Isabella (22 months) can finger feed herself just fine, and does, with snacks - grapes, cherry tomatoes, etc.

She can also manipulate a spoon/fork for a meal and actually get the food to her mouth (sometimes) but she won't. She will maybe eat a couple of mouthfuls then start playing with the food. She went through a period where she "demanded" her own spoon and I gave it to her, even a separate bowl with a little food in it, but she seems to have lost interest in that.

It's not a problem for me but I feel that maybe I should be more encouraging about the self-feeding???

Is there a "normal" age for this?

Sorry, I was unclear. I should have added that about 95% of the time I am still feeding her the entire dinner, so she will eat it and if I do that she gobbles it all up - but that is not teaching her to feed herself!

[MamaChinch]

Sounds like Bella is completely normal. When Delaney came home, her IA doc told me to encourage her eating finger foods, even though she could use a spoon. She does fine with a fork and spoon now, and also still uses her fingers..and plays with her food. Sometimes I give her what I think are fingers foods and she wants a fork, sometimes she tries to eat mac and cheese with her fingers. I think it's perfectly normal for them to be "experimenting" at this age, and figuring out how to best get to their food!!
I noticed that if Delaney is paticularly hungry she thinks the fork is too slow! If Bella is using a mixture of fingers and fork and spoon, she is normal....heck, my 9 and 10 year old niece and nephew end up using their fingers still !!!!

[Kasey]

Alek at 3 1/2 many times starts picking up with his fingers towards the end of his meal. He was slower with the utensils, but Maks at 23 months is pretty darn good with both fork and spoon and seems to prefer it to fingers--so who knows.

[momraine]

I remember with my second son, he prefered fingers and liked playing. What I did was let him eat most stuff with fingers, but things that were definataly not finger food (yogurt, pudding, etc) I would take away if he would not use the spoon. He soon learned that he could not have those foods unless he used the spoon. I would suggest the spoon a couple times and then take it away if he didn't, and when I gave it to him, I would remind him it was to eat with a spoon and he soon got the idea.

[orenmommy]

At that age I was definately feeding my two most of the meal also. I felt they would learn to feed themselves in time but I was more concerned that they ate the food.

[mcanvasback]

Orenmommy that is exactly what I'm thinking - she is a great eater when I feed her and so healthy - don't want to mess that up!

I just wanted some reassurance that I'm not holding her back from what she "should" be doing at this age.

[amyfk]

My child is 23 mo. and basically feeds herself. Several months ago she was pretty persistent in that she would not eat unless she would feed herself. She now even gives herself soup.
However, there are other areas where I would say she isnt as advanced. I dont know if she's close to potty training, as well as other skills.
If you are concerned I would ask the pediatrician. As with all things there is a bell curve for everything. As long as Bella is on the bell(LOL rhymes) then I wouldnt worry really.
Amy K, NJ

[votemom]

it's different for each child. it's a motor-skills thing. some kids can practice all day and still not be good at it.

your feeding her is a good bonding/attachment thing.

our girls came home 100% self-feeding (at age 23 months) but i took over for attachment. i now let them self-feed usually their fresh fruit or veggies.

someone's crying - gotta go.

[angelkisses0102]

Since both my kids came home closer to Bella's age...

DD had great fine motor skills and self fed finger foods immediately (11 months when she got home) and I introduced the baby spoons and forks at that point (the plastic ones.) I would say by 18 months she was self feeding but again her fine motor skills were great...that is not to say she still didn't use her fingers for finger foods.

DS was delayed in fine motor skills...so finger feeding was encouraged. By 18 to 20 months he was efficient with those baby utensils. He too still will use his fingers for some finger foods...but can use a spoon (he hates forks but I feel that is related to his oral sensory issues.)

I always held them and their bottles for bottle feeding...and that was until about age 2...for bonding and attachment.

[mcanvasback]

Don't get me wrong, guys. She can use utensils and feed herself. She has great motor skills. She just loses interest in the food really quickly when she is self feeding and the food doesn't get in her tummy, rather, all over the high chair, floor, her hair, etc.

Finger foods are fine. The issue is the utensils. To her they are toys.

My question is - is it ok to feed her for now just to get the food inside her or should I just let her do it (or not) on her own?
BTW, angelkisses - she still has 3 bottles per day with me holding her and the bottle - she of course can hold them but doesn't want to . It is our special time (especially at night) and Ii can't imagine giving it up !

(She drinks perfectly from sippy cups, cups, and through a straw)

[angelkisses0102]

My question is - is it ok to feed her for now just to get the food inside her or should I just let her do it (or not) on her own?

I would let her self feed at this point. Don't forget...as she reaches full toddlerhood...she is eat much less than she was. Much less...she'll eat enough even though there will be days you wonder how she survives on how little she eats. I let Mr Skinny self feed. If she is playing with the food...she most likely isn't that hungry. Trust me, she'll let you know if she's hungry.

No one says you need to stop the bottles....

[cathvash]

mcanvasback - I'll share a story about my daughter. When Alex came home at 24 months, she "regressed" significantly in her eating skills. I ended up spoon feeding her entirely for around 6 months until she decided to do it herself.

Here's why that is significant: I met her at 18 months, and she was at that time feeding herself proficiently with both a fork and spoon. I was amazed as she fed herself hot borsch without spilling a drop! Almost ALL of these children can feed themselves with utensils independently from a very, very young age (12-15 months), and may even be placed in charge of feeding younger babies with a spoon!

After being initially a little confused, I finally decided that Alex had an emotional need to "be my baby". That is why she wanted to let me feed her. I was not well-read at that time on attachment issues, but it felt right to me, and I thought "if she want's to be a baby for a while, great, because she probably missed that nurturing..." So we let her be my baby for a few months, and we both enjoyed it! Eventually, she just decided it was time, and she picked the utensils up and fed herself again...

[votemom]

hmmm - maybe she's just getting full sonner than you expect?

both of mine clearly signal when they've had enough (if i'm doing the feeding) and so we stop. if they are feeding themselves and get full, they push the bowl/plate away and take off their bib.

they have 3 meals a day, plus a very small mornig and afternoon snack. they used to also have a bedtime snack when they first came home, but have since given that up. by small, i mean a handful of goldfish crackers and 2 or 3 oz of milk. i don't think they really even need it, but that was their schedule in russia so i've kept it for now.

she sounds like she's doing great for her age. go with you gut - you're the momma and you are doing great i'm sure.

[mcanvasback]

Originally Posted by angelkisses0102

I.

No one says you need to stop the bottles....

Except the doctor! But, I'm not!

[mixtim]

First, this seems completely normal to me and just one of many phases you can look forward to encountering. Could be she wants to play "baby" and wants you to feed her, or not. How long has she been home?

Second, there's a little girl in my DD's classroom who insists they spoon feed her as well. Generally, they ignore her complaining and let her watch the other kids eating so she will start of feel hungry and start feeding herself. They also sometimes compound her desire to eat by feeding her a few spoonfuls and then leaving the rest for her to self-feed. Just some ideas that work for them.

IF it were me, I'd let her miss a meal or 2 and see if that doesn't solve the problem. This assumes she's medically fine and her growth is not an issue at this point. Of course, you will be the one dealing with the hungry and irritable 22 mo!