[caaron]

I'm starting to get a little frightened by the thought of going to court and not being granted our little one. Does that happen very often? For what reasons could they do that? Am I being paranoid for nothing?
I hope you guys can put my mind at ease, if not at least I'll be prepared.

[beckyww]

I talked to probably 20 - 25 people that did this apart from folks our agency put us in contact with. About half of them mentioned this fear. Never happened.

So take a deep breath, mom!

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[MissDaisyofTexas]

Do not worry! In the region we went to, the court decision was already typed out before we entered the court room! Which is why the "recess" only lasted 30 seconds. I think that unless you mention something in court that was never mentioned in your homestudy (i.e. you plan on spanking your child, you contracted a deadly disease, etc) you will be just fine!

[MamaChinch]

You will be fine! My court was 25 minutes total, including the 1-2 minutes for the judge's "decision". Make sure you have all the docs in the have asked for, and you will have you little guy in your arms!

[ddahl]

Everything is magnified at this time. Its normal to freak out. My opinion is you need to totally read through your home study and be prepared to speak about it. We were grilled over and over on different things, all from the home study.
You will be fine! Stressed but fine. Praying for you! Sending hugs!

[maddensmom]

It's going to be fine. I know you can't relax, so go shopping and unload some stress...

[GCS]

Take a deep breath and know that this is very, very rare. I was so nervous about court I actually threw up the morning of. It ended up being such a non-issue for us. I wish I had enjoyed it more and had not been such a wreck!

[angelkisses0102]

Not everyone has a quick and easy court...just don't panic if you happen to get the l o n g d r a w n o u t court appearence. I second knowing everything in your homestudy...know it inside and out.

Talk to your agency about the judges in your region, they should help put your mind at ease and hopefully give you some pointers.

We had one easy court date and one very difficult court date...both ended up going through.

Hang in there.

[Amysue1112]

It's ok to worry, but you don't need to! As I have told many others...even though many of the agency workers are great people and really want the best for you and your child-to-be, this is a BUSINESS. It is in their best interest to get you through court and assist you in completing your adoption. So if you got this far, you will be just fine!
Days before our court we got the call that we had to do our 8 MD medicals in our region..and we would be the FIRST ONES going through it...uh...I have a facial deformity AND a pile of med history.. you talk about freaking OUT!! But my sweet girl was waiting for us and i WAS NOT going to allow anything to come between us. If we could make it through, you can too!

One suggestion though, if your agency gives you a list of questions to answer and prepare for the judge, make sure you an your DH have BOTH practiced what you want to say. We made the mistake of thinking that one of us does 1-5 and the other does 6-10..well when my DH stood up to talk the judge started asking the questions out of order and asked some of the questions I had prepared to answer....that made us both very uneasy! Funny thing though, the judge kept saying "CHEESE" and we couldn't understand why..then we found out later from our interpreter that she was trying to "make us smile"..HAHA!

Also, we put a slide show of pictures on our computer of us with Hannah...she loved it and so did the other court staff. Even the prosecutor came up to the judge's desk to view it with her. I don't know if your judge would appreciate that sort of thing, but you can ask your agency about it.

Hang in there, YOU ARE ALMOST THERE!!!!!!!!!!

[votemom]

the preparation for court is probably handled differently by region, but our translator sat us down the night before and morning of court and reviewed ad-nauseum what our answers needed to be to the various questions she knew we would be asked.

i didn't think i would be nervous, but the morning of court, i too, was sick to my stomach. i couldn't eat breakfast and was sweating bullets.

our agency kept assuring us that we wouldn't have even received the court date unless everything was in order.

plan ahead for questions about discipline, divorce (the potential of), and guardianship of your child should something happen to you. those are the kind of questions that you need to think thru and not just answer off the cuff.

it IS rare for there to be an issue in court... but we all understand how you are feeling.

hang in!

[cathvash]

Been there, done that! -My feet were sweating so much I was worried that they smelled!

-Just don't drool, do impersonations of your favorite serial killer, or stand on your hands... It's their job to be "stern", but in essence you have already met the conditions required for the adoption. -This is just a quick looksie to make sure you don't fly off the handle or present yourself in some wierd way.

You'll be fine!!!

[amyfk]

I understand your concern. We ended up with a very serious, thorough judge.
She did her homework and court took four hours, but we were granted parenthood of our now 22 mo. old. They want to be thorough that you will take care of the child well. Also our agency coordinators tried to prep us for court as best as possible. I am sure yours will do the same.
Amy K, NJ

[linda512]

You guys are scaring me! I am thinking about Russia for my second child (first is from Guatemala) but didn't realize how grueling court could be. I'm not ready yet anyway.

[tbristow]

We were the last in a group of 5 families to go through that day. We were the only ones that had no relatives to list so ours took 20 minutes instead of the 30 everybody else had. Afterwards, the interpreter said that I looked scared to death. How could I not be with 11 years worth of waiting and wanting to adopt hanging on that judge? I really think we all make it worse on ourselves than it actually was. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Seriously, give me the money and I'll prove it!!

[gabmom]

Tbristow said it best "How could I not be with 11 years worth of waiting and wanting to adopt hanging on that judge? " That's exactly how it felt to me...after ALL you've been through, now you have to stand in front of this person who holds your future in his/her hands. But it will all work out just fine!!