[Aphi86]

Ava is doing so well in all aspects of her growth and development. She has almost caught up in the language delay area, and can ID colors, numbers and ABCs and she will be three next month.

The only area that is a visual reflection of having lived in a baby house is the rocking. When she is bored or mad sitting in the carseat she will rotate left to right and repeat words or phrases she knows. At night when she is lying in bed (I thought maybe moving to the big girl bed would abate this somehow) she rolls left to right and sings her little ditty of "I love you you love me, London Bridges is falling down, row row row your boat, Go away go away, I love you you love me" and then repeats. It only lasts about 5-10 mins and then she is asleep. And, she also does the rolling action if she is tired, or bored at home in the middle of the day.

Am I supposed to be doing something to help her transition out of this, or let it go and she will work it out? Also, will she outgrow this and around what age?

[Jen_in_OH]

Hi!
My adopted DS also occassionally rocks (mostly when tired). I was worried about it until I talked with my mom. Apparently I was also a "rocker" - did it for years. My mom thought it helped me fall asleep at night. I also had a bio aunt who did it until she was nearly 10 or 12 - again to fall asleep.
Sooo - given this info, I've decided not to worry about my son. he seems happy and healthy. If rocking soothes him at nap time or nighttime, I'm ok as long as he isn't crying out or upset.

Good luck.,
Jen

[GCS]

If the rocking is just to help her sleep and there are no other issues, I would leave it alone.
If she rocks often to self soothe, you may want to read up a bit on sensory disorders and see if she has other flags that put her in this category.

From what you're describing here it doesn't sound like more than a way to help her sleep. My DD has to play with hair - hers, mine, even DH's short short locks will do in a pinch if she's really tired. (once she tried to twirl her brother's but that didnt go over very well!)

[Abdulina]

Leave it alone, it's a comfort to her. Mostly, it's out of habit. The PI rocking gets less and less over the years. Almost all of mine rock. I really only have 2 now that continue to rock when tired or upset. So it definitely does disappate. If it doesn't interfere w/ anything else, she is good to go. I wish you all the best.

Take care,

[Katie63011]

I would leave it alone. My son rocked for about 2 years home. A lot in the beginning and then it lessened over time and only when he was really over tired. Home almost four years, he has only done it a handful of times in the last year if at all. I know it's hard to watch.

[Aphi86]

Oh THANKS so much! I won't make it an issue, but just wanted to make sure I wasn't suppose to be doing something about it! HA!

[Aphi86]

I had emailed Dr. Dana Johnson at the U of M and just got a response. It is alignment with what others posted, but thought I would share the response anyway.

Dana and I discussed the questions you had in your email- he reports that this is actually fairly common to see in kids, even 16 months out as long as it is identified as being triggered, similar to what you mentioned- tired, stressed. He said that as long as it is interruptable, meaning she will stop it to respond to you in some way, even if it continues then later, then he is less concerned about it. He also mentioned that the less you pay attention to it, the better, as part of it may take on a behavioral component that she knows she gets attention when she does it. Additionally, if there is an object that she can use in times of comfort- a blanket, a favorite doll or animal, this could help with calming in times of tiredness or stress, instead of these behaviors.

[randloar]

We have been home just about 6 months, and little boy (3 in June) did a lot of rocking in the first months home. At first it was startling and sad to us to see (it was sort of an aggressive rocking motion). Along with the rocking was a little 'lullaby' that he would sing to himself....

As time went on, when we saw it, we would rock in chair with him or stand to get a better mimic of how he moved (more abruptly). This seemed to comfort him that we were doing this rocking with him (sorta like wasn't in it alone maybe?). Now the rocking doesn't happen as much, but as he is learning to speak more english and he NEVER stops talking and repeating his words or turning them into little songs to himself, seems this has replaced much of the rocking (still happens on occasion but not with the same conviction).

Glad to hear this happens a lot, and it is clearly a sort of soothing for them.

[amanda_p]

Drew has almost been home 3 years and still rocks himself to sleep. I wish he didnt do it, but it isnt a problem.....just kind of makes me sad.

[ddahl]

We had rocking and self stimulation too. I rocked DS for 1.5 years every night since he has been home. At first, I did "fly" rocking pumping the rocker quickly and really cradeling him close close close. Over time he stoped the stimulating things like rubbing his hair and sucking on his fingers. I gradually slowed the rocker down to a snails pace over a few months all the while bottle feeding. He talks to himself a bit now at bedtime but I think he is talking to his stuffed animals... but all of the self stimulation seems to have subsided except when he is tired he still rubs the neck of his jammies.

[his,mine&ours]

This is so good to read as Cole is doing it as well. Very strong side to side rocking, almost always accompanied by a song of something he saw that day. "Squirrel, pecan, squirrel pecan..."

He does this several times a night...do your kiddos do it throughout the night to get back to sleep?

[Aphi86]

If Ava wakes up in the middle of the night she does it along with a sing song to go back to sleep. I can hear her in there, and if what she was saying most nights wasn't so darn cute, it would be sad. But, I am doing as Dr. Johnson suggested and just ignoring the behavior.

[CarRanVA]

Max does the same thing each night (left to right action, not back and forth). He only does this to help himself fall asleep. Sometimes when I go in to check on him at night he starts doing it in his sleep, but if I put my hand on his shoulder, he stops. I am assuming he is self-comforting.

[doozer22boys]

This is really interesting to read. Our daughter, Lilia, rocks herself back and forth with her hands over her ears when she is having trouble getting to sleep or when she is really mad/sad. This behavior is usually done in her crib. It always makes me sad too but she does stop whenever I pick her up and soothe her myself. I think with spending 2 years in the orphanage setting she had to learn how to block out noise and comfort herself. What is amazing to me is that all these kids seem to do this behavior naturally. They really are little survivors.

As a side note: she is almost 3 1/2 years old and was adopted in June of 2006.

[votemom]

my friend's son has been home for 8 yrs. he is now 10 yrs old. he is bright, healthy, happy and wonderful.

8 yrs later, he still rocks at night. side to side in the fetal position, until he falls asleep.

my doctor told me that even if a child is doing emotionally great, they may continue it for years as it's just become a habit, their normal process for going to sleep.