[tbristow]

I know this has been posted before, but here I am six months later with very little progress in potty training with a child that turned 3.5 years this week. I am beyond frustrated and really don't know what to do . He goes #1 reasonably well but if he's playing, he won't do that. #2 is just not happening at all. He was in the potty-training class at day care, but they needed the space and moved them up to K3 and put them (2 boys) back in pull-ups. I can't use training pants (though they didn't help) due to lack of consistency. Any ideas?? What about that potty boot camp I heard mentioned? Those on the last post, any progress??

[hopeful_in_Wi]

My nephew is 3 1/2 and is JUST getting potty trained. he's my sis's bio child and when she asked her doctor about it, she was told that boys are later than girls and some boys need more time than others to "get" it. L wears underwear 'most' of the time but still uses a pull-up sometimes and every night for bedtime. her pediatricain told her its oompletely normal

[ddahl]

We have one step forward and one step back. It is indeed beyond frustrating. I spoke with the pediatrician and she says DS is stool withholding and that he is just not emotionally ready to do it. I however am totally emotionally ready for him to do it. I can tell you that getting rid of the training potty is the best move I have made. He needs to use the big potty ultimatly so no time like the present. The school tells me he is dry all day and he wears underwear only there. If I do not camp out in the potty from 3-4 p.m. he hides immediatly after I let him off the potty after doing a #1 only. Frankly, I think he likes to see me frustrated which I admit was wrong of me to let him see. He has my number and he is ringing it off the hook! While it my be totally normal for boys to do this the thrill of changing my very own baby with a now enormous poop has worn off! For pete sake! I feel your pain! I am using a timer and putting him on the potty
every 20 minutes. hope for the best.....

[Amysue1112]

Our Hannah came home from Russia at 11months and was almost completey potty-trained. But once she realized she didn't HAVE to go on the potty, she started really regressing. It drove me CRAZY! Sadly, I had to come to the realization that this was one thing that I could not control. It really was the only big thing that made me feel like I was going over the edge...I really think too that when they see it is REALLY something you want them to do then they really use it against us. After over a YEAR of banging my head against the wall trying to figure out HOW to make it happen..treats, snacks, stickers..you name it I did it. On a whim my dad bought me Pampers instead of generic whilte Publix diapers and Hannah started apologizing to Elmo (picture on the diaper) when she "peed on him".! I was like WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT??? We started 3 days ago in big girl panties all day and she has had only one accident. I think she now doesn't want to pee on Dora! My basic point is that I don't think you can MAKE a kid go in the potty...they have to want to. I remember people telling me that and it would just make me more aggravated. But now that I look back on it it is true. They can do what they please with their pee and poop and there is just no way for us the control it. Hopefully the day will come soon when he just decides he wants to do it...until then, hang tight..it will happen!

[Ktates]

I am with Amy - you can't bribe, persuade, make them go if they just don't want to. Believe me I know how incredibly frustrating it is. DD was 3 1/2 in June - I knew she had the control but she had absolutely no desire. Well just in the last few weeks we ran out of diapers and I told her she would have to try and go in the potty til we got more - and poof - she is in underwear all the time and only had an accident within the first 2 days. She doesn't ppop on the potty yet but she tells me she needs a pullup - does her thing and then we change her back into big girl underwear.

A few friends here told me when she's ready it will happen - and they were so right - for as long as it took her to do it - she has with no accidents or prodding - I'm amazed at the transition. She was just ready - I had tried the "we have no more diapers" approach before and it didn't take.

I would try and give it a rest and try it again like once a month - hang in there it will happen!
Karen

[Drazil]

I was where you are last summer (Adrian was 3.5 then) and and we were going on vacation to Cancun and I really wanted him potty trained by then (he had other ideas ), it was frustrating to say the least. He actually went #2 on the potty with no problem but it was #1 that he would not do in the potty. His doctor said it was normal and 3.5 was not a big deal and the biggest advice he had for me was to leave it alone. So I did, late last June I just let it go and by the end of July he was completely potty trained and going #1 and #2 with no problem. Let it go, he will do it all by himself. One thing that I think made him want to do it faster was going in with my husband to go #1 standing up like daddy. He made the transition very fast from that point but it was still his idea. Its been a year total with no diapers or pullups and its been wonderful, you will get there just let it be.

[beckyww]

Similar to Amysue1112 - what finally trained my almost-3-year-old bio DD was Barney panties. She didn't want to wet the big guy.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[angelkisses0102]

All I can say is hang in...at 3.5 yo DS was not ready...but at 3 years 8 months, the potty light just clicked on and he was trained. Practically overnight. We have no #1 accidents and just a few #2 accidents...but those were probably due to emotionally stressful times.

Pullups make my DS lazy...he still wears them at nights but 90% of the time he is dry when he wakes up. However if I don't remind him to go potty, he will pee in his pullup and think nothing of it.

Did you try real underwear under the pullup...DS hated that feeling. Good luck and hang in.

[Kama]

We have been home 8 months and we have the exactly same situation with our 4.5 yr (4.5!!!). It took a lot of work and we are only making slow progress, but it IS getting better. She has mostly gone #1 in the toilet, but #2 has been a struggle. However, she was diagnosed with severe constipation for which she is taking medication (very easy, powder that is mixed with water once a day, pediatrician told us it should be necessary not longer than 6 months or so). We are still in pullups, but ask her once in a while if she wants "normal" underwear and we do once in a while try them. She seems to feel more comfortable in pull ups. Here are the small steps we have made:

1. we bought a special potty and potty book (she loved this)
2. two months later she started to want to sit on a normal toilet and no potty book was necessary anymore
3. she started going #2 in the toilet but regressed on #1 for a couple of months again
4. as of late, she goes to the bathroom by herself after she wakes up, this is new and encouraging! Accidents are rare for #2 but happen for #1.

We talk to her a lot about being a big girl and trying to call when she wants to go, etc. etc. She is stubborn, so we do not pressure to much and give her time, but we see that she is getting motivated and is working on this. I hear some kids just potty train in a day, but this is not our case and we do not get frustrated about this - we know she will learn and give her time. Good luck!

[momraine]

I had one who was very stubborn about it. I remember being convinced that if I could get him to do number 2 in the toilet just once we would be ready to go. However he refused, I sat him one day for hours and read book after book to him. Every time I would finally give up and he would go hide and go in his pull up. What finally worked was I gave up for a while. I had let him pick out some big boy underwear. Then every time I changed him, I would ask him if he wanted his big boy underwear or his diaper. If he said big boy, I would remind him that he couldn't go in the big boy pants but had to use the potty. He usually chose the diaper, but as I put it on him (I got rid of the pull ups) I would tell his baby brother, his bear, daddy, the dog, or whomever was in the room that soon he was going to be a big boy and wouldn't need diapers anymore. When we weren't changeing him we were planning his birthday party. choosing the cake, talking about who to invite, wondering what present he might get, talking about what to serve (it was mostly a family cookout thing) etc. So he was getting very excited about the birthday, so I then started to tell the baby, the bear and daddy and the dog that when he had his birthday he would not need diapers. I never told him, never said it to him directly, just carried on conversations about it with everyone else in the room. We were crossing off days on the calandar and when he realized we were in the last week, he suddenly started choosing the big boy pants and never went back. We did use the pull ups at night for a while becuase he was and still is a very sound sleeper.

[Sipper]

I am reading this post and thinking in the past tense. Finally. I had tried every trick I read or could think of with Grace. We have poster boards full of stickers that were hanging in the bathroom, every character panties that are made (so she would feel bad about peeing on someone) special potty songs, etc. After six months of begging, pleading, and driving myself crazy as to 'why can't she just get it', she did, and on her own time and own terms. Now, we are more at the point of visiting every public restroom in the country - I think I liked the peeing in the panties better! It really makes the parent much more stressed than the kid. They know when they are ready and they will do it. We even went on a Disney cruise and told her if she did not do 'big girl potty' she would have to stay in the baby pool. That child did not wet even once on the entire cruise and told me everytime she had to potty. I was thrilled. We came home and she went right back to peeing in her pants. But, again, when she was ready she just did it all at once around her 3rd birthday. She began #1 and #2 in the potty and she always tells us loudly (no matter where we are) mommy, pee or poopy. We will work on some more appropriate phrases next but for now, I will gladly accept it. And, her baby brother seems pretty interested in what she does on the big potty so hopefully, I won't turn the rest of my hair gray with potty training him - but I do hear it is true that boys take longer. Keep your sanity and they really do want to do it - when they are ready - not you.

[boatsun]

Big boy underwear is the answer. It took John about a week and then no more accidents. We bought some cheap whitey tighties and only had to throw a couple away. Positive reinforcement helped. He also saw us on the potty several times and that helped him understand that that is what grown ups do.

[ddahl]

Momraine- I Tried The Talking To The Animals Etc. Last Night And It Worked. Ds Went Back Into The Room To Tell The Animals He Is A Big Boy Now.. I Also Told Dh That Ds Was Becoming A Big Boy And That His Favorite Stuffed Animal "freckles" Told Me Himself That Mason Would Not Need Diapers Any More. We Verbally Pondered What To Do With The Extra Diapers, Not Including Ds In The Conversation. He Told Us That He Was A Big Boy Now Too! He Pooped And Peed On The Potty. It Was Lovely Not To Have To Change A Poopy Diaper. Today We Did The Same Thing. He Is Dry At School All Day. Its Looking Good. Thanks For The Tips!

[rhouse77]

For #2 Try sitting on the potty about 30 minutes after each meal. Give a sticker for *Sitting*. Doesn't matter whether anything happens or not. Praise or excitement when something does happen. (Let's look!) NO disaapointment when it doesn't - just happiness and sticker.

also role modeling - mommy has to poopy - let him watch and then look in the potty :-)

I also had good luck with gerber training pants - they hold lots more moisture and allow a child to be aware in time to get to the potty. We used at bedtime too once it looked like we wre making progress. I'd rahter change some wet sheets than pay for months more diapers.

my dd trained at 34 months. Ds was trained in russia.. lost it abotu 1 month home, and retrained by 6 months later at 42 months

[nungesser]

Us too!!

AB is almost 3.5 years old and there is no potty training in sight. He has once peed in the potty, and that was a very tiny dribble, which I think was inadvertant before getting tinto the bathtub. At least he did that standing up.

We've tried all sorts of strategies - stickers, books, vidoes, the Potty Trainer book, ice cream dibs, M&Ms, underwear (with Lightning McQueen and other 3 yeard old popular animated characters), only, observing as DW and I go pee. No sucess.

A typical conversation:

I ask "You want potty?"

He replies: "No potty!!"

"You want diaper?"

"No diaper!!"

"Well it's goning to be the diaper or the potty. So when you're ready to get rid of the diaper, let me know you want the potty."

We've decided that like Angelkisses's DS, he's going to go when he's good and ready by his own decision. Until then we will live with without the burden of not having scouting for lavatories being the first thing we do when we arrive anywhere outside of our home.