[aclaire]

We recently received a referral for a 9-month old boy. It came with two pictures, but no video. The pictures weren't clear enough for our IA doc to rule out FAS, but based on the other info contained in the medical history, gave us a positive assessment. I'm just wondering if others have had this experience and how it went once you met your child. We've accepted the referral and will send pictures back to the doctor once we meet the baby. I have faith all will be fine, but I'd like to know if this has happened to anyone else. Thanks!

[Amysue1112]

HI!
It is pretty common to not get a video, only some regions/agencies will do this.
We only got pics from our referral, but we got like 5 good ones. However, when we travelled, we found out her birthmom did not want her to be adopted. So then we received the referral of our daughter.
We took a digital camera that could take small video clips and took our computer that could accept our camera memory stick. We sent lots of pics along 3 or 4 10 second clips..it was a great help! Although I could tell she was healthy (I am an RN) it was still nice to hear it from the IA doc too.
Our little girl is now 21 months old...she is actually 6 months ahead developmentally, even in speech. It is just AMAZING how resilient these kiddos are.

Congrats on such a young referral..that is not common anymore. And congrats on accepting him..any ideas of when you will travel? Good luck to you..and please, ask any questions you want. Many like myself got LOADS of help/support/info on this board, and have committed to helping others through it too.

Oh yes, and make sure your IA doc is easy to access...the group we went with had someone on call 24/7 and an emergency #...I have heard of some not being able to get a hold of their IA doc when in Russia. There is usually such a small window officially "accept", so just make sure they will be availble anytime, day or night.

Take care!

[becky26]

Even with a video, most IA doctors will not be able to rule out FAS with a 9 month old. We had a referral video showing our boy at 14 months. Our IA doctor thought he was "borderline FAS" based on his facial features. Based on the research that I had done, I did not agree with him. Once we met him, we were very confident that he was not FAS. Generally, it will be very difficult to rule out FAS at that young age. Their development is just not significant enough to make any conclusions. Make sure you check out some web sites dealing with FAS. One of my "favorites" was PBL Website

It gives you a visual presentation of typical FAS features. Good luck - this is a very exciting but stressful point of time. Hopefully, you will receive travel dates very soon.

[angelkisses0102]

Also remember that FAE and many other alcohol/non-alcohol related issues will not have any outward physical clues...like the facial features associated with FAS. Any IA doctor, no matter how good they are, can only work with what is sent to them and what is listed as known. But so much about our children can never be known with certainty.

With our DD's referral (she was 6 months old) we got a few pictures. We did not even bother with having them looked at. We did arrange for a doctor to meet us at the hospital she was in. However, once we met her, it would not have mattered what he said, she was ours...regardless. While she did require pretty major surgery a few weeks after returning home...she attached smoothly and has always been ahead developmentally.

With DS's referral (he was all of 4 months old~the good old days) we got pictures and videos and had him reviewed by a top IA doc. He was listed a low risk, healthy and happy. He was not...he is special needs...(emphasis on special.) Most of his issues were not and could not be uncovered through an IA evaluation.

Kids from any orphanage will most likely have 'something', some impact, from their time spent in an institution. No matter how 'good' the orphanage is...it is not the same as having a mom &/or dad. Some kids will have a minor impact (like our DD), some will have a big impact (like our DS), and some (like many families I have 'met' over the years) will have a major impact. No way to know whether or not and how deeply your child will be impacted until after you are home...sometimes taking years for the impact to surface.

The best advice is to meet the child and trust your gut and have a good working knowledge of the common issues PI kids have. An overwhelming majority of those of us with our children home will say that regardless of how our child was impacted by their beginnings...our children are positively the right children for us and our families.

CONGRATS!!!! There is something very special about little boys. Have a great trip.

[beckyww]

We got no video, but we took plenty while we were there. Upload them to a easy-to-access site like photobucket for quick reference.

Becky
medical information

[votemom]

actually consider yourself lucky to have photos. more and more with tougher regulations people are having to travel truly blind.

[GCS]

we got a video and photos for the then 3 month old - and only 3 pictures for the 3 year old with very little medical and no video. We traveled and sent back info to our IA doctor, had conf calls with her based on questions she sent us over with.
We would go completely blind now without question because of this experience. It was wonderful having our IA doctor to discuss specifics with. I highly recommend it.
We accepted both referrals and couldn't be happier!

Christina

[mikiment]

Hey, girl -- Got your email then read this -- we are SOOO excited for you guys! I sent you reply via separate email, and we'll try to call you guys tomorrow or Mon night.

Keep the faith, look at the pix, but don't let it throw you -- you know the drill and have this down pat by now so remember just to stay focused on the final results and don't let the craziness get to you. Just review your stuff from the IA doc on what to look for when you meet him in person. As others have said, you know to trust your gut when you meet this little fella -- you'll know -- so don't let jumping thru the hoops or not having all the info ahead of time distract you at all. Remember, eyes locked onto the final results -- "wheels up over Moscow" with your son on board like we kept saying last time. How I wish we were going with you again!

Take lots of pictures and savor the experience. So very happy for you guys. Much love and can't wait to talk to ya!

[Sally26]

We got two pictures, we fell in love and then got medical information. The IA doctor put her at high to medium risk based on her medical information. We requested developmental information and got more medical information(which gave us more concerns) and developmental information that put her on target for her age (5 months). We decided that she was ours come what may.

When we met her she could do everything they said she could developmentally and more. We have had and continue to have from time to time minor attachment issues, but medically and mentally she is great. She is very smart and very coordinated. She also is small, small head, petite...drinks pediasure daily and is finally in the 10% for weight. I asked her doctor recently at her three year old check up if we needed to worry about FAS/FAE and in her opinion, "No, she is perfectly fine." You have to go with your gut and for me what God was telling me. As my pediatrician says, "There are no guarantees with any child."

Good luck!

[aclaire]

Thanks all for your responses. I feel better. We were fortunate to get a video for our first adoption in 2004 and I guess I felt more prepared. I felt I knew what to expect. I'm not so sure this time, but that's ok. We're still ready to go and open to this little guy, no matter what we find. We're just sitting on pins and needles now waiting for travel dates. Thanks again. Love this board.

[Annabell]

Good for you! Another soon-to-be traveller! Congrats!

Please keep us all informed. Would love to know how ya'll are doing.

(Oh, yeah, we had a video of DD and both IA and pediatric toxicologist friend said, "Well, THERE's a kid!" -- not that there weren't "issues" upon arrival -- parasites, intestinal bacterial infection, facial herpes, history of untreated ear infections, severe gross motor delay, etc., etc., etc.) -- but we got her healthy. Made straight A's last semester (always makes honor roll) and spent the last week dancing (modern and ballet) with dance ensemble for 5 (or more) hours per day/night. Plus school and homework. I'm 5' 4" and she's almost as tall as me (at age 11).

So.... I'm so very happy for all of you.

[amyfk]

We never got a video for any of our referrals we received, only photos. And usually we only got two photos at best. One time the doctor requested more photos to look for FAS, but the agency or region( I dont remember which) was not forthcoming. Best of luck to you. Assessment from Russian medicals arent' so easy these days.

Amy K NJ

[Hopeful_Jen]

Technically, referrals are not to be sent out with videos or photos anymore. As we all know, different regions choose how they will follow the Russian Laws. Anyone receiving a referral photo or video should feel that they are lucky. Those not receiving any "visual aides" should not feel like they are missing something.

It's amazing how we end up with the "right" children for our families! Angelkisses said it well when she said...

An overwhelming majority of those of us with our children home will say that regardless of how our child was impacted by their beginnings...our children are positively the right children for us and our families.

Congratulations on your referral and being one step closer to meeting your child! Best Wishes!