[amanda_p]

Has anybody else gotten word that girls are not very available? This stinks. I am just so aggravated. This adoption has been so much harder than Drew's. It is very discouraging...

Sorry I am just venting...

[justmp]

I have a friend who adopted through one of the big agencies last year, and she called them this week to inquire about starting an adoption for a little girl and was given the same information you were. I hope it all works out for you!!

(Our second adoption was a lot harder than the first, too!)

[lakimnafite]

Three years ago we were told that it was harder to get a girl. So, it's not really new news but you likely just didnt' hear it before because you were getting a boy

I know of a number of people who have recently adopted girls - and I also know of people who requested either sex and been offerred girls. If a girl is in your heart, a girl is what you should find. It perhaps will take a bit longer.. but good things are worth the wait! We waited three long years to finally bring home our girl - but she was worth it and is absolutely perfect for our family.

Best of luck!

[amanda_p]

One of the main reasons the agency said is because of the new law that is giving monetary incentive for Russians to adopt. If Russians adopt it will likely be a girl.....

[kimber413]

It's always been more difficult to adopt a female in Russia.

[Annabell]

Hey --

As a really old-timer, we were told way back when that single Russian moms tended to keep daughters if they could, but that sons were often considered extraneous (plus, they might look like fly-by-night dad? Who knows?). This might still account for the discrepancy between available girl and boy babies.

Hope this helps!

[marina72]

Hi!
I have heard the same thing, there are more boys availble than girls. But what then if you have wished for a girl and under 2 years, can they give you a refferal for example a boy under 3 years. I mean how strict they are?

[amanda_p]

I always knew that girls were more difficult to get than boys, but it would just be a longer wait....but now with this incentive for Russians to adopt it seems that girls are really really not available.

I am so lost. I was 20 weeks when I lost my pregnancy....she was so beautiful. I think I am having a tough time because I wont know what it is like to go through a full-term pregnancy and now I am trying to adopt a girl and that isnt working out either. When we started out on Drew's adoption we asked for a girl, but once they told us the long wait we instantly changed to a boy. I just wanted a child so bad it really didnt matter. We also knew that we would probably adopt a second time so we would just go through the long wait the second time around. The phone call I got yesterday just feels that I lost another one.

[tbristow]

Amanda,

I say just wait then. This sounds very important to you. You'll get your daughter, you just may have to wait awhile longer. God bless. She's out there somewhere.

[doozer22boys]

We adopted *two* girls last year and that wasn't even our intention (our original referral had a sister that they found out was also available for adoption). So keep your hope going! It does happen. They told us the girl wait would be very long. Our process took about 21 months.

[Ktates]

Oh Amanda! I wish I could give you a big hug! I agree with Theresa - to wait it out. I don't know how your agency works but have you thought about what medical conditions you are willing to accept?

We received our referral for Aisling after a relatively short wait (5 months) - there were other people on the wait list specifically for a girl but they were not open to the medical conditons we were.

For example one of the things we specifically put on our app was that we were ok with Hep antibodies (the agency would not refer us a child that had Hep antibodies unless we specified we were ok with this - all kids born in St. Petersburg hospitals are tested for this so it's on their moe record in the database). Anyhow we did our research on it and talked to Dr. Miller about it and decided that we were ok with that (despite some family being horrified).

As you know - DD is great, she did not develop the virus - nor are their any other signs of drug use or alcholol at this time...5 Russian families were shown her referral and said no...

Anyhow - obviously wouldn't want you to change to agree to a possible health condition you might not be prepared for if it turns out to be accurate - just thought I would give you some food for thought...
Hang in there-
Karen

[ddahl]

My heart goes out to you. When we started our process in 2004 we were told the wait for TWO CHILDREN, and a girl would be infinite we of course said first available meeting our criteria. Of course we got a referral for our darling son who is clearly "THE ONE". We never received a referral for a second child. When we go back, we will want to adopt a girl under 3. I will wait. I am sad that there are so many boys there but Guilt be darned I want a daughter. If we go back for a 3rd in a few years then a boy will be great but I really will hold out for a girl. Ideally, I want twin girls (shhhhhh.... We are not currently mentioning this to DH ) wink wink!

Hold our for your dream! Of course you are emotional! You have every right to go through all of those feelings. Are hearts go out to you. You deserve to have your dream! Be strong! Hugs coming your way!

[marina72]

How long have this been? I mean that there are boys so much more than girls. I adopted my girl a few years ago and it didn´t take so long. I think if your heart says it should be a girl, be strong and wait. It´s so worth it. I´m waiting my refferal now and I think it will be a boy. I still hope for another girl... Hey, I have four godchildren, all boys!!!

[lovestruck]

It has always been that the wait for girls is longer than boys, however what it sounds like is now that there are simply not that many girls currently available because of the new law. One of the reasons I read when doing my research on Russia two years ago is that although it's not certain why there are more boys available then girls is that there is still the mentality that men don't want to raise another man's son. So if families are adopting due to the incentive, then it does make sense that they would chose girls to adopt.

I'm sorry for the loss of your pregnancy and the loss you are currently feeling in the process. Does your agency think that if you wait that a girl will eventually become available?

[Amysue1112]

Hi Amanda!
I am so sorry you are going through so much!!! My opinion is to stick with the girl that you know you want.

When we started our adoption in Oct 04, we were told girls are harder....a year later, we were making little progress..the region that we were in was still backed up with a longg list for girls. Our agency kept saying.."are you SURE you don't want a boy?? We have lots of boys...". My dh thought maybe we should change our request, but I said NO! We have waited this long for our little girl...we will NOT change our request just b/c it is harder/longer wait. Our little girl is DEPENDING on us to stick with this!!
We finally asked our agency to put us in a region that we had a better chance of getting a girl referral earlier...trust me, your agency should have ways of "working" on stuff like this. I CANNOT believe there aer NO girls available in Russia...I suspect they are telling families this b/c they can't promise anything, and if a family DOES get a girl referral they will be happily surprised. I cannot believe that the new Russian law is causing all the girls to be adopted..nope, I just can't believe that. We talked to a friends in our region and they said yes, Russians are coming to see kids more, but it is not going to change the fact that there are still A LOT of children that needed forever families.

I say, stick with your request. If you feel in your heart that you are to adopt a girl, don't let ANYTHING stop you. If your agency doesn't have a region that still has girls available, I would look at another agency. Actually, i would call some anyway and find out what they "say" about girl referrals. It could be that your agency only goes to a few regions, and the regions they go to don't have a lot of girls.

Hang in there Amanda!! We did, and even though it took a lot longer, our dreams came true. Yours can too!