[susanandgrace]

We have a 3 year old daughter and are thinking about bringing her to Russia with us. Our agency suggests that both parents go on the 1st trip (to see the baby and if need be to change the referral).

2nd trip only one is required (this is what our agency said).

We would be flying into St. Petersburg.

Has anyone brought there child with them? We would not feel comfortable leaving her with anyone, so we either take her on trip #1 or we can't adopt from Russia (we feel this strongly).

Can anyone let me know. Also, is it safe to drink the water and eat the food in Russia?

[beckyww]

That's really weird. Both parents are required in court. We've always read/heard just the opposite - only one parent required for referral visit, but both for court. One could leave after court, though.

We drank bottled water and had no problems with it or any food.

I'd think long and hard before taking a 3-year-old. There are long stretches of "nothing," or just waiting around. Hotel rooms get cramped. Plus restaurants are not kid-friendly.

Maybe you have the exceptionally well-behaved three-year-old but I wouldn't have taken any of our older three girls at age three.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[angelkisses0102]

Personally I would NOT even think about it. Our daughter was only home 20 months and just 2.5 years old when we left her to travel for DS. But after having been to Russia for her adoption, I would not have even considered taking her. And we had never left her prior to that.

No the water is not safe to drink, the food is very different. People smoke everywhere. Medical care is nowhere near the same as here. Outside of the main cities, Russia is extremely poor compared to our standards. There are not car seats, people are crazy when driving. The roads outside of the cities leave much to be desired. It is hot in the buildings and cold outside in the winters. In the summer, our daughters region had no hot water, (had to save fuel for the winters), there was no AC, no screens on teh windows and moquitos that were HUGE.

The travel is tough...in country...different. For our 90 minute return flight from Samara to Moscow for DS's adoption...we were stck on the runway for over 6 hours...people we drinking and smoking...they even fueled the plane with us on it.

Some orphanages will not allow the child in...some agencies do not allow children to travel.

Personally as much as I would love to adopt from Russia again, we probably won't...because we could never leave DS home and I would not take him or DD to Russia until they were older. And probably never on an adoption trip. A couple we traveled with took their preteen son with them on trip one and while he was a great kid...he was bored out of his mind.

Some people have done it but I just don't think it would work for us. There is too much that I would need to focus on while deciding if I am willing to add a PI child to my family and the time is so limited while in Russia and in the orphanage I would need to focus 150% on that...not my existing child.

Good luck...

[susanandgrace]

I really do appreciate your honest answers.

DH and I really want to adopt a child. We aren't crazy about the domestic adoption system, so we were looking into international.

For various reasons, each country has been slowly crossed off our list. My husband is 44, so Korea is crossed off our list too for the escort service.

I am very open to Guatemala, but my husbands heart isn't into adopting from Guatemala. So that leaves us with such uncertainty.

Everyone said that Russia requires both to be at the 2nd trip. I am wondering WHY my agency has given me this false information. Oh boy.

Back to the drawing boards. Thanks ladies

Sue

[Annabell]

No, the tap water and ice cubes in drinks in restaurants are not safe. Use bottled water even for toothbrushing. I also would avoid uncooked stuff.

The decision to take your child is a tough one. As other posters have said, there's a good bit of sitting around time involved. Depending upon when you go, St. Pete can be bitterly cold, so for simple safety's sake, you'll be stuck indoors a lot. In Moscow, we got a hotel room that was a suite, with a large-ish living room and a small-ish bedroom. That gave all of us more moving around space.

Hope this helps!

[MominPA]

We brought our son with us for our second adoption. He was 8 years old at the time. We brought him on our second trip and he was able to go into the baby house and court room. We were even able to bring him for a visit to his former baby house and visit with his former caregivers. Everyone made a fuss over him since they loved seeing how well he is doing.

We adopted from Moscow city both times so there was no intercountry travel which is a plus.

The flight going there was long for him, but the flight home he enjoyed more since he was playing with some Russia boys his age.

It depends where you travel in Russia. If you stay in a major city it would be easier then a remote area. Being in Moscow we didn't have a problem with food and we just drank bottle water. There were plenty of choices to feed a young child. We stayed at the Marriott Tverskaya and right around the corner was a new grocery store that was "Americanized". General Mills cereal, Dannon yogort, etc. Going out to eat was McDonalds, pizza, Italian food, Starlight diner and TGI Friday's. Not much different if we were home.

It was a positive experience for our son and I would have brought him even if he was younger. If there was intercountry travel I might reconsider. Maybe if you can choose to adopt from St Petersburg or Moscow that might be the way to go.

I am planning on going back with him and his brother one day. Hopefully we could do more sightseeing then we had a chance to.

[KarynB]

As someone who has travelled around Southern Africa for 6 months with two kids in tow (twice)...I would definitely take my child (at any age) to Russia. Sure, precautions are needed - but what a great experience for them and for you.

As far as the weather being cold - I happen to live in the 2nd coldest capital city in the world (Ottawa) and my kids walk to school every day, play outside regularly, go skating, etc - it's not dangerous, you just have to dress properly. If you don't live in a cold climate - go to a second hand store and buy snowsuits, etc there so you aren't spending a fortune. Buy a cover for the stroller and you are set.

Feel free to PM me with any "travelling with kids" questions...good luck to you!

[Kasey]

We just completed our second adoption this past November, our oldest guy was 2 1/2 we did not consider taking him with us on first trip. He is very spirited and I am not sure how we would have done with the time change, the long flights, etc... We also knew our referral had some medical issues we needed to investigate and from adoption previously we knew the trip could possibly be stressful. So for us we opted not to.

Also both of us had to travel both trips for our region this time around. But both parents have to be in court on second trip, one can leave right afterwards.

We debated bringing him on trip 2 because we missed him sooooo much, I can say it was truly harder on us then him. He had a blast with family and cousins, etc.. and he was able to stay on his schedule. We were considering bringing him and a family member and leaving them in Moscow while we went to region. We decided to just leave him home again. It worked out for us. I figured he is really too young to get the whole experience, if he was older I would have totally done it. But all that travel and stress is alot on us and alot to ask of our almost 3 yr old. People thugh do it and have a great time, but for us and knowing our son, it was best for him to stay home.

[hml1976]

Hope you don't mind me chiming in. We adopted our daughter from Kazakhstan (she's now 2.5) and are not bringing her back for our second adoption solely because of the medical care. She was very sick when we first got custody of her and had to go to the hospital clinic in Almaty...hospitals in Moscow may be better but it was terrible and the doctor told me that if I had any American drugs it would be better than anything they could give me. Scary stuff.

I had to giggle at the Canadian comment, I'm a Canadian transplanted to the South U.S. and you couldn't find a snowsuit anywhere in my state let alone a second hand store! They just don't exist... I do agree with you about the cold though, that wouldn't be a reason to not bring your child and I'm sure they sell good snowsuits in Russia, they did in Kaz everywhere.

[calikismet]

We adopted twice as well, and our son was 25 and 26 months old when we left for the trips for our daughter's adoption.

First of all, both parents are required to be in court, which is trip #2. One can leave right after court if necessary, but both must be physically present in court. This is non-negotiable as far as I know. Regarding trip #1, it used to be that one parent could go on trip 1, and take a power of attorney along for signing papers, etc. However, under Russian law, both prospective parents must meet and see the child before court. So if one parent stayed home on trip 1, the couple would have to visit the child before court on trip 2. That was usually enough. However, under the tightening of the regs, in most regions, that will no longer work. You would risk getting to court and having the judge deny the adoption b/c both parents did not spend enough time with the child.

Regarding taking a 3-4 year old with you, that is pretty young for this huge of a trip. It is not just that the trip is long and far; my 2 small children have travelled with us on plenty of vacations, inc. to the Caribbean. As AngelKisses explained, the trip is just darned HARD. Moscow and St. Pete are very modern. But the outer regions are very rustic and somewhat uncomfortable. You are usually also jammed into tiny cars with other families, no seatbelts or car seats, and lots of smoking and other environmental things. We did not even consider taking our son with us on our daughter's adoption. He stayed with my parents, and had a grand ol' time. If our son was older, I would have considered taking him - I think 8-9 and above is just fine.

Best of luck in your decision!

[calikismet]

Originally Posted by KarynB

As someone who has travelled around Southern Africa for 6 months with two kids in tow (twice)...I would definitely take my child (at any age) to Russia. Sure, precautions are needed - but what a great experience for them and for you. !

I agree that at the ages of your kids (13 and 7) the trip would be wonderful. I think that the families that have taken older kids (8-ish and above) would definately say yes, take them. But the OP asked about taking a 3-year-old to Russia, and having been there twice, that would be a major endeavor... Certainly not what I would recommend.

[Drazil]

We adopted from St. Petes in 2004 and if we were going to do it again we would bring our son (he is 4 now). But...only if we were going to adopt from St. Petes again, we felt it to be very contemporary and there is an American clinic right in the city. We stayed at the Waldorf in St. Petes (4 star hotel) and the water was fine in the hotel and we just brought bottled water when we went outside the hotel. We found most of the restaurants to have menus in Russian and English and there was fast food and many casual restaurants just like here. St. Petes is very different from the rest of country and our agency provided us with a car and driver/translator so we had personal service and this is the only way I would go again (same agency and same city). There is so much to see and do in St. Petes that it is like a vacation in many ways (as least that was our experience due to our agency mostly) and the baby home was 7 blocks from our hotel so we did not have to drive far. I guess you need to look at all the elements of the trip first but based on our adoption we would have no issues with taking our son at 4. Good Luck...

[kretzklan]

We took our son who was 8 on trip one and 9 on trip two. I would not take a child much younger than that. He spent a lot of down time doing things on his own, like reading or drawing in a sketch book. He was able to burn time quietly by playing with his gameboy. He did great and I'm happy he had the experience...but a younger child would be hard to keep busy...

[amyfk]

HI,

It's really a personal decision if you take your child with you or not overseas.
We didnt have any children prior to this adoption, so we didnt have this issue.
I personally felt that it would be a difficult trip to take a child on. In the town that we were in, there wasnt much to amuse a child with(eg. video game parlors, amusement parks etc.). We were delayed for court and we were basically holed up in our hotel for a few more days. When we went to our baby's orphanage, it was a 2 hr. drive each way. Once we got to Moscow we didnt have any down time to see the city. We were getting papework done etc. If you take your child with the understanding that you wont' have a lot of quality time with him/her then maybe it would be ok. The child also has to basically self-entertain himself a lot. Good luck in your decision and on your adoption.
Amy K, NJ

[lakimnafite]

Our son was 5, 6 and 7 on each of our three trips. At no time did we consider taking him. We would have loved to - honestly - share the experience and have him with us. I missed him very, very much.. But, I had to agree with what many people said before me about all the reasons not to take children on these trips. We ended up losing the first child we met and accepted - then we had to later turn down another child after meeting her. These things we have never discussed with our son and I'm not sure he'd understand why this baby was his 'sister' but now she's not - and this baby we can't accept due to medical issues that he can't understand.. These trips were incredibly stressful and difficult for DH and I - I just can't imagine putting DS through it as well.

One day - we'll all go back to Russia as a family. When both kids are older and can understand the trip and we are just there to enjoy ourselves.

It was hard to leave him. So I understand your thinking of not picking Russia.. But honestly, as others have said, it's harder on you than them!

And yes, both parents must be in court during trip 2...