[RussianJen]

Hello, everyone!

A loooong time ago, I spent quite a bit of time on this forum, and thought I'd return for a bit, as I've got some time once again!

Just a quick update/reminder, to all of those who are asking 'who in the world is this?!'

I'm a full-time volunteer in an orphanage in Russia. I've been away from this forum for the past year or so because I've been back in our orphanage in Russia - I have now lived there for two years, and will be returning after the holidays for my third full year. I can't wait! I'm an American, so I had to come back to renew my visa.

ANYWAY - being that I've lived and live where your kiddos are coming from, and I speak fluent Russian, I just thought perhaps I could answer some questions you may have. I've got somewhat of a unique experience - therefore if I could be of help at all, I'd love to!

Have a wonderful day. Wish I could meet all of you personally, you and your munchkins!

-RussianJen <><

[cathvash]

Wow Jen! It is so cool to have someone here with such a unique perspective! Bless you for your work with these kids who we all love!. You probably do more for us as an example of a loving American than you realize. I think I remember seeing a few of your posts when I first started reading here ~15 months ago. Welcome back!

One question I have is whether the current slowdown in foreign adoption has resulted in overcrowding in the homes. Have you seen this? I am worried, especially in the winter whether there is enough food, beds, and supplies...

[Barton]

I always see a lot of debate on this forum, as well as others, on how prevailent FAS/FAE is among children in Russian orphanages. I have seen some people quote statistics stating 50% or more are affected by it. In your experience, how prevailent would you say it is. What percentage would you place on it.

[angelkisses0102]

Very cool to see you back. Where is the orphanage you are working at? If I remember it was with school age kids, right? How are the kids doing?

What a blessing you are to them and us!

[GCS]

Welcome back Jen!

Glad to see you here and I hope you are well!

Christina

[Annabell]

Hey!

Welcome back! Hope you have a great time here. Good to hear from you again!

[DoreenG]

I'm new to this forum, and would love to ask you to outline when the Russian government closes down for the holidays, and for how long?

We're adopting from Stavropol...no chance you are from down south????

[JLW99]

I remember your postings, and how helpful you were!! Which region are you going to? Also, I PM'ed you a question...
Jen

[RussianJen]

Originally Posted by cathvash

One question I have is whether the current slowdown in foreign adoption has resulted in overcrowding in the homes. Have you seen this? I am worried, especially in the winter whether there is enough food, beds, and supplies...

In answer to your question, 'overcrowding' is not 'allowed', as it were. The basic needs of kids - food, beds, clothing, schooling, etc. will be met. The main effect the slowdown is having is that orphanages they are 'phasing out' - those which house less than 20 orphans and are further from the main cities, will be kept in operation longer than originally planned.

Hope that helped ease your worries a bit!

[RussianJen]

Originally Posted by Barton

I always see a lot of debate on this forum, as well as others, on how prevailent FAS/FAE is among children in Russian orphanages. I have seen some people quote statistics stating 50% or more are affected by it. In your experience, how prevailent would you say it is. What percentage would you place on it.

To be honest, I would say over 50%. Statistically we hear in Russia that 70% of the kids in the orphanage system (infants-high school graduates) are there because of alcohol-related issues. Whether this is FAS or alcohol abuse in the home during their childhood, it is overwhelming. I would share stories 'my' kids (the ones I live with in Russia) have told me, but they're tough to hear, and I'm not sure this is the place for them.

So yes. I would agree. I can't tell you exactly what the percentage would be. But personally I would say over 50%.

Hope it helped!

[RussianJen]

Originally Posted by *Doreen*

I'm new to this forum, and would love to ask you to outline when the Russian government closes down for the holidays, and for how long?

We're adopting from Stavropol...no chance you are from down south????

Afraid we're not 'down south' - but I've heard Stavropol is a wonderful place. Holidays in Russia....well, school's out from about the 25th of December (although that's not Christmas for them) to the...middle of January. Most people with 'office jobs' are on holidays from around the 28th of December 'til the 8th or 9th of January, and I would have to say things won't be moving much until around the 11th or 12th. That's just my observation; maybe in Moscow things keep moving! Another holiday that shuts things down is the 8th of March - I mention it 'cause it's not incredibly far away, and generally offices are hard to get ahold of that entire week. Oh, and the 23rd of February - that would be about a 3-4 day holiday, as well (from like the 22nd to the 25th or so).

Keep in mind that in Russia, if a holiday falls on a weekend (Saturday or Sunday), they will get a vacation day that Monday (which I add because if you're counting working days, not knowing that can mix you up).
For example - The 8th of March is on a Saturday. Usually people get 4 days off for this holiday; but they actually get six - Thursday-Tuesday. The weekend never counts.

Hope that was helpful and not completely confusing!

[DoreenG]

Originally Posted by RussianJen

To be honest, I would say over 50%. Statistically we hear in Russia that 70% of the kids in the orphanage system (infants-high school graduates) are there because of alcohol-related issues. Whether this is FAS or alcohol abuse in the home during their childhood, it is overwhelming. I would share stories 'my' kids (the ones I live with in Russia) have told me, but they're tough to hear, and I'm not sure this is the place for them.

So yes. I would agree. I can't tell you exactly what the percentage would be. But personally I would say over 50%.

Hope it helped!

I appreciate your sensitivities on this forum...as we are all on pins as it is, waiting as it is.

Can you create a blog? I'd love to know more about what you are doing.

[stephw3boys]

How can we help AFTER our kids are home?? Anyway to set up a "mission" trip? Come back 10 years later and help out for 2 weeks? Send $$$?

[Barton]

Originally Posted by RussianJen

To be honest, I would say over 50%. Statistically we hear in Russia that 70% of the kids in the orphanage system (infants-high school graduates) are there because of alcohol-related issues. Whether this is FAS or alcohol abuse in the home during their childhood, it is overwhelming. I would share stories 'my' kids (the ones I live with in Russia) have told me, but they're tough to hear, and I'm not sure this is the place for them.

So yes. I would agree. I can't tell you exactly what the percentage would be. But personally I would say over 50%.

Hope it helped!

Thank you for your honest response. Sometimes honesty and truth are bitter pills to swallow. I have to say that I am a bit shocked but in all honesty... not too surprised. It is so tragic and the sad part is that it is preventable. The RF could do so much more in way of educating the general public in regards to the affects of alcohol during pregancy on the unborn fetus.

The scary thing is that FAS/FAE does not really manifest itself until the child turns 6 or 7 years old. There are many people on this board now that are wondering if there child that does not show signs of FAS/FAE right now may some day be diagnosed with it. Again, thank you for your honesty.

[RussianJen]

Originally Posted by stephw3boys

How can we help AFTER our kids are home?? Anyway to set up a "mission" trip? Come back 10 years later and help out for 2 weeks? Send $$$?

To be honest, one thing I would NOT suggest is sending $$$ - UNLESS you have a contact you trust completely in that orphanage. Our director, for example, is a very trustworthy guy. He takes every penny and makes sure it goes where it will benefit the kids best. Even after we left last year, over the phone he wanted to discuss EVERYTHING he was buying with the money we'd been able to donate - down to how many pencils he'd bought at what price, whether we were okay with him using some of the money to buy the kids ice cream for their Spring Break party, etc.

Unfortunately, many many are not so trustworthy.

This is also a issue which is very sensitive - bringing/sending kids in the orphanage gifts. Nothing makes us feel better than to sacrifice some of our 'fun money' to buy gifts and send them to kids in an orphanage for Christmas, right? And it is a wonderful thing. For us.
For the kids, however, I have to be completely honest - it is detrimental. Because of their living situation, they typically become very selfish, simply because when you are living in an institution, if you don't grab first, you don't get anything. Even if this isn't the way things are, this is the way the kids perceive them to be. Though our kids (in our orphanage) get plenty to eat, they still grab bread and cutlets and anything else they can away from each other in the cafeteria, hide food under their pillowcases, and steal from each other constantly.
What happens when Americans send presents is this - instead of the response we would expect, which would be thankfulness because they don't have anything themselves, they want more and flaunt their things in front of kids who don't have what they do.
Case in point: We brought presents for our kids for Christmas/New Years (clothes, toys, board games, boots, etc.). Not one but ALL of them grabbed the things we'd brought for each of them and bombarded us, saying 'what else? Where's the rest? What are you gonna get me for my birthday? How come you didn't bring this? Tell the people in America to send that. There were these kids at camp who have sponsors in America. They send them things all the time, they have CD players and laptops to learn and play games on, and they have American clothes and dolls and bikes and candy. I WANT all those things. It's not fair. Get it for me. Tell the people in America they should have sent those things, not these stupid things.'

It was a hard blow to receive - every time we'd do something 'nice' for the kids, the first words out of their mouths were 'what else?' 'How come you only brought that much?'

Anyway, I'm writing a book here. Sorry!

All's to say - truly - believe me. Americans have big hearts and a true desire to help, and that is overwhelming. It's awesome! But if you truly desire to help an orphanage and the kids in it, see how you can help without directly giving things to the kids - ask when you're there (or if you still have contact after returning here) if you can help...maybe they need things like light bulbs, or they're waiting on extra money to run desperately-needed electrical wires. You never know.

-Jen <><