[russia06]

I would like to hear your thoughts, suggestions and experiences of adopting a 2 year old boy from Russia.
One of our concerns is language and my other biggest concern is introduction of American foods. Were these areas you experienced difficulties and what did you do to remedy them?
Thanks for sharing your experiences and any advise you have to offer. RB

[mycodybear]

We adopted our son last March just before his 2nd birthday. As for language, it was amazing how much he understood what we were telling him in such a short period of time. While the verbal language has taken longer to progress, the receptive language is amazing. We started speech therapy through early intervention about 4 months after being home and it has helped tremendously. I think he would have been fine without it, but it has been the extra help that has made him progress so quickly. When he first came home he wasn't even speaking Russian, so really no speech at all. When he was evaluated he was 26 months old and he was speaking at a 14 month level. We have now been home 7 months...he is 30 months old and his receptive language is at 29 months and his verbal communication is at 23 months...so A LOT of progress in a short amount of time. He currently says about 80-90 words on his own without me coaxing him on. The other thing I would recommend is using baby signs. We didn't really use a lot..just the signs for "more" and "all done", but even that helped tremendously before he was able to verbalize the words.

As for American food, we didn't have any issues. We started feeding him American food as soon as we got home and never had any stomach problems. However I know we were pretty lucky there, as a lot of kids will experience a short period of nasty diapers while they get used to their new food. He ate anything we put in front of him. Now that he is getting more "Americanized" he all of a sudden has become very picky with what he wants to eat!

Best of luck!!

[Aphi86]

We adopted a girl at 18 mos and like the post above the receptive language was almost immediate, like a few weeks and she knew what to do. The verbal is still forth coming. (She just turned 2 a month ago) Actually the verbal is not that big of a deal to be quite honest because she understands what I tell her to do and she is starting to communicate non-verbally what she wants by pointing etc. As for foods, at first she spit a lot out because she didn't have that tongue action for chew and swallow. I gave her the 75% less sugar Froot Loops and that fixed itself in about a week. Now she eats everything. I have been giving her asparagus and she takes it although I can tell she is like "What the heck is this!"

[kimber413]

Our DD came home at 2, and she also was extremely quick to pick up receptive language. Verbal has been a bit slower, but she's close to her age level. We haven't had speech therapy, although it may be in our near future, just to help her catch up. The only issue we had with food was with instant flavored oatmeal. Something in that made her break out with a rash. Otherwise, she eats pretty much anything, and has from the start.

[LouLouBelle]

Our daughter was 21 months at adoption. We were told she said simple Russian words, although it just sounded like baby babble to us (other than "paka paka"). She has been home for five months and her language amazes me! She is already putting together short sentences, using possesives and can repeat almost anything.

The first week home we joked she would eat anything white. We used a lot of the Gerber toddler foods and mixed in pureed veggies with rice cereal to get her used to the flavors...wow...that seems like ages ago! We discovered she loves eggs and would eat anything, and I mean anything, if it was in the eggs. This is how we got her to eat veggies at first. Now, she eats everything. She went from being below the charts for weight to the 75th percentile (gained 10 pounds) in the five months home.

As for catching up, it feels like she has advanced developmentally a year's worth in the five months. I was a bit nervous I'd miss the "baby moments" but experienced many of them at an advanced rate. Good luck with your decision!

[ddahl]

We adopted an 18 month old. Language and food were the least of our worries. When you are generally starving you eat anything. If he does not like American food... you could order take out....In all seriousness, our 18 month old said nothing and understood no Russian. I speak it and he had no idea what I was saying. Within 6 months he is speaking in sentences. I also champion the idea of baby signs. He adapted to signing so quickly that he was signinng or food, milk and more before we left Moscow.
Good luck with your decision.

[ddahl]

We adopted an 18 month old. Language and food were the least of our worries. When you are generally starving you eat anything. If he does not like American food... you could order take out....In all seriousness, our 18 month old said nothing and understood no Russian. I speak it and he had no idea what I was saying. Within 6 months he is speaking in sentences. I also champion the idea of baby signs. He adapted to signing so quickly that he was signinng or food, milk and more before we left Moscow.
Good luck with your decision.

[Amysue1112]

Hannah came home at 11 months and she was saying a few English words within a few weeks. We also taught her sign language (which she picked up almost immediately BTW) to make it easier for her to communicate. She is now 15 months old, home 4 months and says 8 words..not bad for her age.

As far as eating...HA! That was an easy one for us. In Russia we fed her baby food till we got her home. She would eat anything. Then when we got home, she would eat ANYTHING...no kidding, even spinach! So for us, there was not "transition" time at all..Hannah new a good thiing when she tasted it!
Good luck!

[Annabell]

Hi!

We strongly recommend that age. DD was 2 years 3 months. She was already VERY verbal in Russian, and was sorely dissapointed that we were not fluent (we'd memorized our word and phrase lists, but still...)

Although we took her to a Russian speaker a couple of times a week, she rather rebelled (we think she associated the Russian language with the orphanage, and wanted nothing to do with it). Once she realized that WE weren't fluent, she sort of "shut down" -- very little language, English or Russian -- then, after 6 months, she suddenly began speaking in complete English sentences: "Mommy, I need some more milk, please." (This about 2 years 10 months). Clearly, she spent those 6 months just absorbing the English language. And being a bit of a perfectionist, we think she was unwilling to make mistakes -- had to wait until she knew she had it down pat.

As to food, I would not worry too much. Yes, we fed DD lots of cooked cabbage, pickled beets, raw cucumbers, and kielbasa at first. It was what she was used to. But she also ate toddler foods like cheerios and baby carrots and little slices of apple.

As to food issues, the only thing I'd counsel on is to NOT be rigid about table meals. (We found out, after a month or so, that DD, as she apparently had had to do in orphanage, was hiding/hoarding small bits of food in the house). In the orphanages, meals are very rigid -- if you do not eat immediately, your bowl is taken away (or, worse, someone else reaches over and snitches your food). Our answer was to put toddler food out on every flat surface that she could reach while cruising -- yes, it was messy for a bit, and yes, we had to later re-train her on table manners, but she quickly (2 weeks?) got to the point where she was no longer hiding food, and, more important, she TRUSTED us to always give her enough to eat. (We even sent her to bed with a really, really stale bagel -- so stale that she could not do more than suck/gum it, and it made a HUGE difference in her sleep patterns)-- before, she'd sob for hours, after, she'd grip that poor old stale bagel and fall asleep instantly -- it was a huge "safety" issue for her.

When we were first waiting to adopt, we put in a request for the youngest child possible. I began subbing at the local schools (which are very good) to get an inside view. I spent one day with a child with serious, serious autism (my sole job was to chase him and keep him clothed). He had an unusual name and I asked about him. "Oh, didn't you know? His parents adopted him from Russia when he was a tiny baby."

I cried all night, and then called the agency in the morning to change our request to a slightly older child. I have never, ever, regretted it. DD just got to middle school, a demanding curriculum -- just got first report card tonight -- As in math, science, social studies, and computer science, Bs in language arts and Spanish. Is 5' 2", weighs about 92 lbs, and is a featured soloist in the local (but highly thought of -- kids go on to ABT and Royal Ballet in London) dance ensemble.

We are blessed. There's no such thing as a "terrible" two. It's all how you take/accept/handle it.

Hope this helps!

[Chris3148]

We adopted a 22 month old little girl this March and her 3 and 1/2 year old bio sister.

As far as the language goes, her receptive language was amazing and by week two home she was understanding all the basic stuff. By two months home she seemed to understand just about everything we said. She was not fluent in Russian, actually knew how to say only three words, "Da, Nyet, and Elena". She could immitate animal sounds though. But she was understanding fluent Russian. Actually the first month to two months home her older sister always talked Russian to her and she was still understanding it as well as learning English. We did get her into Speech Therapy after a month home because she was already delayed in Russian. Now seven months later...she understands some Russian, speaks no Russian, her receptive language is AMAZING, and she is starting to put two and three words together to make sentences. Her latest favorite, "Stop it Daddy!"

As for the food, we never had an issue with her. We actually gave her some American food in Russia: NY Pizza (yes they have this in Siberia!), TGIF Fridays, and Hard Rock. Once home she ate anything...um...BESIDES VEGGIES-unless it was a potato! She still won't touch veggies and now avoids all food that remind her of the baby home. (yogurt, mashed potatoes, soup, hard bread, etc.) We went to a Russian festival this weekend and we asked the girls what they wanted to eat after reading an extensive menu with many Russian foods on it and they both answered, "A hotdog!". LOL I asked my little one if she wanted to have borsch and she said, "No way Mommy!" LOL

BTW: I love the age both of my girls are and they are both older than I ever envisioned adopting. But terrible twos can be trying on some days!

[crispex]

We recently adopted a 3 1/2 yr old. We've been home for just over 2 weeks (we've had custody of her since Sept 21, home Oct 8th).

Language isn't an issue. Our little girl understands a lot of what we tell her, but as mentioned she doesn't verbalize as well. For example I can mention most body parts and she will point to them accurately, but when I ask her what a body part is called, she ususally uses the Russian word.

I would say that our little girl (in barely 1 month) can verbalize 50 words accurately without prompting. It is truely amazing how quickly they pick up languages.

As far as adopting an older child, the nice thing is that they are typically potty trained by 18 months. Our little girl has regressed to wetting her pull-up at night (rarely during nap time) but this was expected.

As far as American foods are concerned, we haven't noticed any problems here. Stools are still firm. In fact, she is the cleanest pooper I have ever heard about, rarely anything to wipe off her bottom! Then again, our little girl was diagnosed with food allergies so her diet is quite restricted (until we can figure out what she is actually allergic to).

Don't be afraid to get an older child, I couldn't be happier to have this little girl home.

[russia06]

Thank you to everyone who responded to my question. We are reviewing our referral and have our phone conference with our Doc tonight. So we'll see what happens next. Thanks again I really appreciate your sharing. RB

[his,mine&ours]

Good luck Russia06. We just accepted the referral of a 24 mo old boy, and talking with the doctors was a big help!

[mschweber]

We had no major problems in either area.

Rebecca seemed to understand us almost immediately. It is amazing that our chatterbox daughter did not say a word to us in the baby home but we did see her saying words to the staff. However, once we got her out of the baby home she started speaking and picked up English words very quickly. After 3 months home she was tested and did not qualify for early intervention. We had a bit of a set back around her 3rd birthday when water behind her eardrums affected her pronunciation but when tested in August (age 40 months) she tested out at over age 4 in all catagories.

As to food, Rebecca never was interested in baby foods or juice. She immediately took to fruit and cheese. She started off eating yogurt but got away form that and is not hot and cold on it. Poultry was (and is) the only meat product she eats. She was and is definitely a picky eater but clearly eat enough since she had a major growth spurt in her first 3 months home. Basically it is a process of trial and error. The buffet at the hotel we were at in Moscow was great since we were able to try a bit of everything.

[k8c]

Annabell, I'm tucking that stale bagel into my bag of tricks.