[tigger44]

Our daughter (almost 26 months old, and home 14 months now) has had the same type of nightmare on an ongoing basis, that mommy has gone away. These are scary for her, and often she is crying in her sleep, saying "Where did mommy go?", or "Mommy's gone." Many times she comes to get in bed with me, and her nightmares will continue. If I hear her crying (and sometimes she's reaching over to feel that I am still there) and asking about mommy I always say "Mommy is right here." Usually, it is enough to help her settle down and sleep peacefully. The other night, while we were rocking in her room before bed, she told me that she had a scary dream about a big man coming to her window and speaking to her.

I talk to her about her dreams the day after and reassure her that mommy will never leave. I know these nightmares are a result of living in the orphanage for her first year of life, and are also related to her attachment with me and Dh. But, it breaks my heart that her dreams are so fearful. I think she has these types of dreams a few nights a week.

I stay home full time with her, and we have not used a sitter, ever. Either me or Dh have always cared for her. Her attachment seems better and better (although not 100% yet).

Does anyone else have experience to share? How long did these dreams linger for your child? Was there anything you found to help alleviate them?

[fugie]

As you know, Michael has been home exactly as long as your daughter and they are about the same age. He has been waking up crying at night for about a month now. Not every night, but at least 3 times a week. He never did this before. We have been just letting him come in our room when this happens which makes him happy and he goes right back to sleep. I wonder if this is just normal for this age?????

Lisa

[beckyww]

Bio DD Hannah, now age 10, had night terrors during ages 3 - 8. We took her to a pulminary cardiologist sleep specialist at age 4 (you know that was cheap) and were told we were doing all the wrong things. What we should have been doing - and what we now do during the rare one - is to not wake her up. We speak soothingly to her, and we keep her safe, keep her from hurting herself. We also keep her on a short leash - bedtime at a specific time, insist on proper rest.

Are your child's night terrors related to a year of abandonment? Maybe. But recognize that even kids that haven't been abandoned have them. That doesn't make them less worrisome.

Becky
The Woodworth Family in Beautiful San Antonio TX

[tigger44]

I know DD's nightmares will change, and remain, as she grows older. I remember my first bad dream from around age five. But, she's had this recurring dream for months now.

Yes, I have read recently that a child having night terrors (or sleep walking) should not be awakened. I think what our DD is experiencing is nightmares, and I don't wake her, but only offer a gentle "Mommy's right here".

I just want her to feel secure and not have fears of abandonment in her sleep.

[lippylulu]

If the child is remembering the nightmare, it is not likely a night terror. Repetitive recurrent nightmares are a VERY strong indicator of trauma. The fact that your daughter shares it all with you and is comforted by you is a positive sign for her developing trust and attachment. Some people might advocate therapy for PTSD in such a young child, but I suspect the sense of love and safety you offer is what she needs right now.