[misshawna]

Sometimes I am perfectly content with having my one incredible little boy and am sure that our family is complete and I'd be crazy to think I could handle more. But then, someone else announces they are pregnant (my sister is on her third right now) and I think "oh, I'd love to have a baby." I don't even think I mean "have a baby" but be able to have another child and be able to start with it as a baby, since we didn't get to bring Jaxon home until he was 14 months old. I get sad when I think of how much time we lost with him, but in the same thought, I am so thankful that we have him now when so many others are still waiting.

Do you see-saw back and forth like this? My dh says he is perfectly content with one child so it isn't even a possibility right now anyway, but I can't help the deep inner feelings I have. I feel ungrateful when I wish for more, when I know God has blessed us with soooo much already.

Any others who could share your thoughts/feelings on this?

Shawna

[StorkWatcher]

Our son is only going to be one year old tomorrow, and I already want another. I don't want him to be an only child, and I already miss those sweet little baby things.

(It may be a good thing that we couldn't conceive - as much as I loved having a baby to mother, I might have been on my 8th or 9th child right now, if we hadn't had to adopt and started so late!!!)

My husband thinks one is enough right now, and we're getting too old to consider another (PSHAW!). If I seriously thought he were vetoing a second, I think i would have serious panic attacks. But I'm praying he'll change his mind next year so we can start on #2......

[Hoov]

Yes I have the same feelings. We have said if we find out that our DS has a sibling we would consider adopting again, or if we win the lottery. Neither look very favorable.

On the days that I think I'm going crazy with one, I look at our neighbors that have four and think holy cow, she's a superwoman! I don't know if I could handle any more!

I consider myself very very blessed with the child that we have and I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to bring him into our lives, although there is always room for more . . .

[mschweber]

As noted elsewhere today is exactly 2 years from the time we first met Rebecca. I certainly feel awful about the fact that she will never have a picture of herself younger than 18 months (and those first ones are very sad) and that she spent all that time without parents. However, while we originally wanted to adopt and infant and started out trying domestic adoption for that reason, I can say that I really do not miss not having an infant. I have a cousin who just turned 1. Now he is a fun kind but even his grandmother says that for the first nine months or so he did not do anything and it was mostly boring to be around him.

We are awaiting new accreditations to return to Russia and everytime I look at a picture of my daughter and see how she doesn't look like a toddler any more and when I go into a store and (mostly) pass the toddler department to go to the "big girl" department I do feel very sad about how fast that phase passed by and want it back.

Of course when I think back to the stress of our trips to Russia and the first few months back I panic about doing it all again...

[Teri M]

I too am in the baby mode - I don't want to navigate Russian waters again so we are going the route of Donor Embryos - we are still "adopting" but hopefully God willing I will carry our adopted child and Alex will have a sibling to grow up with and be with once we are gone. They can take care of each other.

Hubby says he is content with one (why does that seem to be the same sentiment from all the hubbies???) But he knows that I want another one and we want Alex to have a sibling (because our house isn't noisy enough now with just one ya know...)

We hope we have a very HAPPY Christmas this year with good news from the Dr's. who knows....

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

I am sooooo feeling that right now! I just brought home my second DD from Bulgaria in June. BUT, since Bulgaria was so messed up, while I was waiting for her, I did a dossier for Kaz, and actually have my LOI! (Which means I am approved to travel and bring home a child!) And, I have paid 1/2 of the Kaz fees already, so I do not need THAT much money! All I need is a new I-600A (OK, in Michigan that is not an easy task!) BUT, I so want a 3rd, and I never had a baby, and my agency says there are babies in Kaz right now, and OH HOW I WANT ONE TONIGHT!

But, I still owe ALOT on my home equity for my second DD, and I could not afford the bills for a third child in day care (single mom here) and 5 weeks in Kaz with a 5.5 year old and a 4 year old does not sound fun....... But, I feel like I am SO close.

Oh, I hope tomorrow I come to my senses!

[karenmarq]

I am feeling some of those feelings, too.

We got our daughter at 17 months and she will turn 2 this month. As the season changes, I am looking at all her cute summer dresses (hardly worn) that will be too small next year.

It was ok to get her at that age, but it sure wasn't much time before she moved into this new more independent stage.

All in all, a newborn would have been hard for us, but I am sad she couldn't have come to us at 9 months when we first visited or even at 1 year.

Every once in a while I get a thought about another child, but mostly I am content with one.

All the best to you, Shawna.

Karen

[lippylulu]

We started off trying to adopt as young an infant as possible after years of infertilty treatment. Life took some surprising twists, and we ended up adopting an 8 year old girl. I can honestly say I have no more baby cravings whatsoever. It started on the plane ride home when other parents were juggling poopy diapers in the tiny bathroom stall and our daughter was pushing the drink cart and serving up snacks with the flight attendants. During infertility treatment we never once discussed or even considered adoption. I did a lot of grieving when we finally gave up on fertility treatment and took some time before deciding to adopt which I think helped. Now when I see pregnant women I think "Thank Goodness Its Not Me" and when I see tiny babies I think "How cute!" But I don't need a baby. If we were to adopt again, I would adopt a school age child again in a heartbeat.

[jimpol]

I'm right there with you guys! We adopted our son back in 2003 and he is 4 now. I would love to have another child. As a matter of fact I didn't think I could ever be pregnant, but amazingly I got pregnant in April of this year, but unfortunately had a miscarriage. It took me a long time to mentally heal after that. Now, I'm ready to try again or get the next adoption started.

It is so hard watching all of my friends and family have no trouble planning families and getting pregnant. I really do desire an infant this time. I think adopting our son at 17 months was great, but I want a baby this time.

[erickk]

I wanted to adopt another child with in 3 months of being home with our now 5 year old son (so that was 4 years ago). We knew we wanted two kids (at least) and decided not to adopted 2 at the same time for attachment purposes. DH wanted to wait 2 years to start the next adoption so we did--and it took 2 years to complete.

Last night, partially in jest, I told DH and older DS that I did not know if I could survive an entire household of boys and men (they were doing that guy body noises sound thing ) and that I thought we needed to adopt a little girl. DH's response was "I guess Mama does not think she is crazy enough yet with just the 3 of us." Although it was said in jest--both DH and I sort of gave each other one of those looks....OK maybe when our younger DS is in school we will pursue the adoption of an older girl...we shall see how we feel in 3 or 4 years (and also see what is going on in Russia at the time--who knows).

[Max'sMommy]

I have no advice to offer but wanted to let you know I am totally with you. See-Sawing every day. My husband is extremely content with one but no one knows what to do but yourself. That is what is soooooo hard about making this life changing decision.

[misshawna]

I am glad to know it isn't just me. I guess it kinda bugs me b/c I don't really feel like it is even an option or a choice I have right now. Unless God surprises us and blesses us with an unexpectant pregnancy (possible but not likely after 5 years without bc) I will have my one child. It just feels so final. My dh won't even consider adopting again, and in some ways, I don't blame him at all. I knew if I posted the topic there would be others who understand, and I guess that is what I needed. Not hearing how my Fertile Myrtle friends are on baby # 3 and still long for more babies b/c they love being pregnant, etc.

Shawna

[Ktates]

[quote=misshawna]I guess it kinda bugs me b/c I don't really feel like it is even an option or a choice I have right now. /QUOTE]

That line pretty much sums up how I feel right now = but I would replace "bug" with really really pisses me off and makes me sad. I totally want to have another child (actually I would like 3). It really makes me mad/sad that I have to go through the expense and part of the process of adoption again to do so. I don't mind going through the waiting or doing stuff but having to prove we are good parents first. Aislng came home at 14 months and while I"m bummed I didn't get to spend time with her prior - I'm not that bummed about not having a baby. My sister is due with her first in January and I guess sometimes I wish we would have a little one in the house - but mostly I just want another experience and child like what we had before.

[Sally26]

I hear you Shawna. I was very fortunate to get Emily at 6 1/2 months, but even then I still wanted more baby time. I have just now gotten rid of her tub, carrier, pack-n-play...because there was hope for another in the back of my mind. I would want a baby again even though I am old and it would probably make more sense to adopt an older child. I, too feel blessed to have Emily, but I don't like the idea of her being an only child.
I also swing the other way and think of how much harder life would be with two and that I just have enough energy for one. I completely understand the going back and forth.
It really stinks that the process is so complicated and expensive.