[leeinmemphis]

Hello all!

Our oldest child Tim has always been very difficult as far as listening, etc. and finally my DH took him to the pediatrician today (who is also Russian and has been the boys doctor since they came home June 2004) because he was just at the end of his rope as I've been in NJ all week. She has mentioned to me at many visits that we might want to examine that possibility but I guess I've been in denial and thought that as he matured and we changed his behavior over time that it would get better.

He is much better behaved now than he was but still we have many times every day that he shows signs and symptoms of ADHD. He is difficult at soccer (which he loves but doesnt listen to the coach, is off in his own little world turning cartwheels at the end of the field etc), at home, when staying overnight with my parents every friday night etc. The only place he is well behaved is with his kindergarten class (I've always said if he's going to act up I'd rather it be anywhere but school! )

So, he's going to try a small dose of adderall for a week and see how he does with that.. in the meantime is there any advice that anyone has in dealing with this new thing in our lives??

Thanks in advance!

alli

[lakimnafite]

I think our son would have had that diagnosis eventually if we had not identified some food allergies. Once the allergens were removed from his diet, he was able to focus and concentrate. I would highly encourage you to look at allergies!

Good luck, Kim

[kretzklan]

The whole ADHD discussion is a very heated one. So, I'll start by saying this is only my life experience. Our oldest son was diagnosed at age 4.5 with ADHD. Much the same symptoms you mentioned; wiggly all the time, short attention span...so we did what the docs told us and medicated him. For us, it was a terrible decision. The meds were a nightmare and allowed him to be labeled by everyone at school (they all had to know he was on meds...due to med consent forms)...therefore any negative behavior seemed to just become "oh he's an ADHD kid". We ended up with horrible side-effects that were worse than the original symptoms. After 2.5 years of different meds and many tears (from us and him) - we just got off the train. We decided that we would take care of his issues through structure and quite honestly, understanding. Now, 3.5 years later, he is the most outstanding young person. He is focused, calm and very bright. He excels at the sports he loves and is at the top of his abilities in all areas.
I guess this is all to say that for us, ADHD seemed to be a catch all label for kids that don't "fit" into another mold. He was frustrating to us as well during that time but I wish with all my heart that we hadn't medicated.
Again, that is just my life experience. I hope that you find the answers that work for your family!

[mycodybear]

Kretz is right- this is a very heated discussion. From my understanding ADD/ADHD cannot even be properly diagnosed in any child under the age of 6 (as was Kretz's son). How old is Tim? What kinds of tests did your pediatrician run to make this diagnosis? I would strongly recommend researching ADD and finding out what tests really need to be done to determine if this is indeed what Tim has. So many physicians will just write a child off as ADD and put them on medication, when there really needs to be further evaluation done to properly make that diagnosis. Also, you said that he behaves well in his kindergarten class- this makes me suspicious of the ADD diagnosis. ADD is NOT situational- children who have it can't turn it off and on in different situations. I am very sorry that you are having a hard time with him, and I'm sure it's very hard on Tim, too. I would just urge you to make sure the proper tests are done before you start giving him medication that "could" be unneccesary. Good luck!

[angelkisses0102]

You may want to look into PTSD as well...we were thinking Alex was probably going to eventually be diagnosed as ADHD but now...after looking at the PTSD symptom list...with hypervigilance being as one of the symptoms...we are going to get him to a therapist to have him evaluated. A4everFamily.org - HOME and Attach-China are great resources. Diagnosis of ADHD is common...

I really do not want to have to medicate for ADHD or anything at such a young age...I know your little guy is older but the whole ADHD diagnosis is so controversial.

Good luck.

***ETA~ Some professionals feel that simply being seperated from their birth mother is all it takes in some kids to cause PTSD. Mike in Texas is a good resource. I have also heard much about allergies being the cause of ADHD symptoms.****

[LilyMoon]

Look into this website. It has a non-drug approach to dealing with ADHD.

Untitled1

If it gets edited out for any reason, PM me and I will give it to you.

I have a cousin who was put on ADHD meds when he was younger and it really had a very bad effect on him. He is still not right from it many years later.
On a side note, the military will not take recruits who have been on ADHD meds...they must know something that is not being told to us!

[arlenes]

Originally Posted by kretzklan

The whole ADHD discussion is a very heated one. So, I'll start by saying this is only my life experience. Our oldest son was diagnosed at age 4.5 with ADHD. Much the same symptoms you mentioned; wiggly all the time, short attention span...so we did what the docs told us and medicated him. For us, it was a terrible decision. The meds were a nightmare and allowed him to be labeled by everyone at school (they all had to know he was on meds...due to med consent forms)...therefore any negative behavior seemed to just become "oh he's an ADHD kid". We ended up with horrible side-effects that were worse than the original symptoms. After 2.5 years of different meds and many tears (from us and him) - we just got off the train. We decided that we would take care of his issues through structure and quite honestly, understanding. Now, 3.5 years later, he is the most outstanding young person. He is focused, calm and very bright. He excels at the sports he loves and is at the top of his abilities in all areas.
I guess this is all to say that for us, ADHD seemed to be a catch all label for kids that don't "fit" into another mold. He was frustrating to us as well during that time but I wish with all my heart that we hadn't medicated.
Again, that is just my life experience. I hope that you find the answers that work for your family!

I agree to the fact, I wish I hadn't medicated my daughter when she was younger. my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD/OCD when she was in 1st grade. The school system forced me to put her on meds for it. I tried alot of different meds and none of them seemed to work for my family. I was giving meds to her to wake up in the morning and meds to help her sleep. I didn't like to see her like a zombie, So I just quit giving them to her. She has been off meds for two years now, and she is in 7th Grade. ADHD and other disorders seems to me to be a scapegoat for the teachers. I recently went to a IEP (Indivialized Education Plan) Meeting at her school and they have been seeing alot of areas where my daughter is still hyper and they have seemed to lost all of her records pertaining to her ADHD. My daughter still has these disorders and meds never calmed her down, but seemed to make them worse.
It seems to me that kids that had these areas of concern were never medicated back in, "The Little House on the Prairie!" Days like they are now.

[mikeintexas]

I'm going to put a vote in for the medication IF you are comfortable with it, you feel like you have worked out other alternatives, and you have ruled out all other issues (as Karen mentions, PTSD, ODD, RAD, OCD, etc). We happened to be blessed with multiple issues.

We did not used medication in Julia's kindergarten year (last year) but we did decide to do so this year. It has made a phenomenal difference. I understand it's controversial, and we were very anti-medication for a long time. We tried all the non-medical routes including the one listed above by LilyMoon (which I'd highly recommend). Sometimes, however, it's worth a shot to just try something and see how it goes. For us, we gain far more from it than we lose... and it benefits Julia tremendously.

But I agree that it's a personal decision. I happened to be one in the non-medication camp prior to having a child who benefitted from it.

Mike

[Aphi86]

WOO HOO! Do I have a book for you! My bio dd was just diagnosed ADHD. Her issue is social and impulsiveness as well as talking to us like she is 25 (she is 8 1/2) and I was at my WITS end with her after this summer. We went to the dr. and got a script for Ritalin. On Ritalin she is great. It was unbelievable. She seemed mature and in control and less anxious. WELLLLL after a month on it she lost nearly 3 pounds, and she is a skinny minney with not a pound to spare. Her eating did not change at all, but Ritalin can stunt growth. So the dr said, no evenings or weekends or holidays. That was not going to work for me at all. I want to be able to enjoy her too. And, I think it needs to be a 24/7 type of thing so that it can't be "I'm not medicated now" and therefore can't control myself. I am looking for more of a consistent thing. I know when they are older the stunting is less a concern. I have found a program by a gal who had ADHD kids and it is vitamin based, not diet based (no way could I do the whole gluten free stuff) In addition I am reading the book "Transforming The Difficult Child, The Nurtured Heart Approach" and it is EXCELLENT. (Don't be turned off by the subtitle) The gist is you reward good behavior, and there is consequences for negative behavior. But, even when transgressions occur, you can still be earning points. It is compared to a sport. When a player breaks a rule, the ref without emotion, blows the whistle, throws the flag, etc. says the transgression, and gives the penalty, and the game goes on. I talked with a gal who is a parenting coach and mother of an ADHD child (who is now 16) and swears by this program. I am just starting this book and understanding the program, and will let you know how it goes. But, if you want more info, email me and I will give you the address for the Vitamin program C3 Kids and give you details.

[leeinmemphis]

I've always been very anti meds... either me or Lee will hardly take any medication even when we have had surgery or anything... just dont feel right about it but we have tried so many behavioral based things -- talking, consequences, spanking, taking away things, giving rewards... they work short term but then within a few minutes its back to hollering his name three or four times until he "hears" what you are asking him.

I am willing to try the meds at this point and see what happens for us. I am scared though and hate to medicate a child but i guess sometimes you have to trust doctors and others.

I am also scared of the "label"....i pray for good results for our family. If you are the praying type we should sure use a little knee mail.

alli

[Sally26]

Medication often is very helpful. Just watch for loss of appetite. Some parents only give meds during the week and have their child off it weekends, holidays and summers.

It concerns me as a teacher that it hasn't showed up in school. This is usually a problem area with having to sit still for long periods of time, follow lots of directions and work independently. Do you think his teacher was afraid to say anything? As educators this is an area we have to tap dance around. We can make the school responsible for medication and doctors bills if we say we think your child has ADHD. Plus we're not medical professionals and it is a medical diagnosis.

If you do fine that he has trouble at school ask his teacher if she is familiar with anticeptic bouncing. It's a technque I loved to use. When a child just can't sit still a minute longer and needs to burn off some energy, I send them on an errand with a note to a recipient that I know will be receptive. The note reads something like "___ needed to burn off some energy, so I sent him/her to you. Please say something positive to them, sign the note and send ___ back." Everyone likes this one the child feels important, gets a compliment, stays out of trouble and the recipient gets a smile and I feel good that trouble was adverted and have given two people a little moment of happiness.

How did your guys do other wise while you were gone?

Good luck,

[Aphi86]

Sally, what a great teacher you are!

My daughter did NOT have trouble in school. She is rather gift-tarded. She is very bright, but cannot follow social cues if they jump up and bite her you know where. She struggles very much with making friends. Not all children with ADHD are bouncing off the walls at school. Some just save that treat for their loving moms! : )

[Butabzig]

We live it EVERY day! My almost 11 year old bio daughter is ADD. We don't have to deal with the hyper. We medicate! I was SOOO against it in the beginning. DH convinced me. She was suspended in kindergarten because she just couldn't control herself and was becoming a threat to herself and others. DH told me if we didn't get it under control she would fall behind in school and we couldn't allow for that. She is SOOO ADD! We've been through the testing and all. She is now on Straterra which we love. It maintains a constant control 24 hours a day without the ups and downs. It also effects the body differently than the other meds. We've done them all.

I would NEVER put a child on a med until you have them professionally tested. Our daughter is not labeled at school. The teacher knows but she doesn't take any medication at school. Even when she did I went to the school at lunch every day to give it to her so it wasn't a school issue. I stay in constant communication with her teachers and work with them to help her. We've considered the IEP but haven't gone that route. We've been able to just talk with her teachers and work through things.

With her ADD she struggles to get her work done. She is easily distracted so she now has ear plugs to wear in the classroom. That seems to help some and one of her friends graciously wears a pair so she doesn't feel so "stupid". She sits at a desk by the teacher so he can quietly reminder to come out of "la-la land". Our life is super structured. We have schedules posted around for everything. If I send her upstairs to do something she gets a post-it with everything she is to do on the post-it. (ie: take your bag to your room, lay out your clothes for tomorrow, put your dance clothes in the bag for tomorrow, come see Mama.) If I don't send her with a post-it she will be upstairs for thirty minutes doing who knows what.

She has to study right by my side. When she starts playing with something I redirect. When she starts talking I ask her if it pertains to her homework. It's a struggle but she's getting better. They tell me that around 8th grade she will start to learn to control herself better.

I too would question that your son is doing fine at school. My daughter can't control herself anywhere. She HATES herself when she doesn't get her medicine. She has a good spirit about it. It is very rare for her to forget to take her meds but when she does her friends are right on her.

From everyone I have talked to, medications will either work or they don't. It doesn't take long to figure out if they are helping your child. Even in the early stages when we were adjusting dosages a little would help but didn't quite get it. But even with a little we could tell a difference.

Do your research and don't just jump at what one doctor tells you. Schedule a conference with the teacher. Find out if he can sit in his seat for extended periods of time. Our daughter was rolling in the floor under her desk. Ask if he stare off into "la-la land"? If he's not having trouble at school I would REALLY question the diagnosis. Good luck with it and remember to take deep breaths. It will get better!

[LilyMoon]

Have you read "Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control"? When you mentioned that you tried "talking, consequences, spanking, taking away things, giving rewards." it set off a red light in my mind. I think all of these methods are counterproductive to what you are trying to achieve and may be partically to blame for your child's negative behaviors.

Honestly, before you try meds. I think there are many approaches you have not tried. From a change in parenting strategy to nutriton, supplements, etc.

I think it would be a mistake to go the med route at this point.

ADD is not a disease to cure...it is a diagnosis a DR. chose based on behaviors. These behaviors have a cause. The medication does not do anything to get at the cause and solve the problem.

[pequele]

Originally Posted by mycodybear

From my understanding ADD/ADHD cannot even be properly diagnosed in any child under the age of 6 (as was Kretz's son).

The symptoms are supposed to be present before age 6 however a REAL diagnosis isn't supposed to be done until after the age of 6yrs old! The American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines recommend evaluation after the age of 6 and using more than 1 visit!

The situational comment also is correct. If he was truly ADHD, it wouldn't shut off for school (or other situation). However, the "imparment" only has to be seen in 2 aspects of his daily life...ie home and soccer. Another but...like someone else posted, it could merely be him not bouncing off the walls at school but staring into space, HOWEVER, I highly doubt he'd be on the other end of the spectrum at school than he is at home and soccer. If hanging out in LaLa Land is the norm at school, I think you'd seem him visiting there in his other aspects of life as well. Maybe you could see if the principal could look into the classroom to give you another opinion on the situation, maybe your child's teacher is more tolerant (hic. well experienced) of kids who don't "sit still" and to her he IS perfectly normal. Just an idea.

Treating ADHD isn't just about shoving pills down a child's throat and hoping they "calm down and pay attention" but behavioral therapy also plays a part...behavioral therapy for the child, parents, educators, coaches etc. It is easy for a medication therapy to fail if behavior of all parts involved isn't modified.

You don't mention what side effects occur in you child, but if the medication ramps him up worse than when he is on it, then the likelyhood of the ADHD dx being wrong is HUGE. If the medication causes little or no change, the dose may be off, but it certainly shouldn't send him further through the roof.

MOST medicated children should be given a vacation period from their meds, a good time being summer break as MOST kids grow out of ADHD. Research has also shown that the typical meds used for tx of ADHD will stunt their growth, and only when the kids are taken off of the meds will they be able to catch back up to their growth potential.

Personally I'd have your son evaluated further by someone other than a primary care physician/pediatrician.

Have you asked your son if he likes soccer? Maybe he's bored and cartwheels are more exciting to him At home, is it more of a defiant issue/ button pushing?

Just some thoughts, but my guess is he wasn't accurately dx!