[GCS]

Sam was 3 when he came home. I called his privates by their proper name. DH uses the word pee-pee. Sam gets that these are the same thing and he choses to use DH's word over mine. (and tends to say peanuts instead of the proper word usually )

Now, Sophia is getting old enough to understand and we are working on potty training. I want to use proper words with my children so they know them and understand them. DH is completely outraged that I would use such a word with our little girl. Really, over the top "absolutely not". Honestly, I dont think he is even comfortable saying it. So, I have been just saying "private parts" to her.

I know this is a crazy question, but what do most other parents do? It seems like my friends are all on one side or the other. I dont think she is too young to learn to properly identify her own body parts.

Thoughts?
Christina

[lakimnafite]

I'm with you, my husband is with yours... Are men afraid to use these words....?!?!

I always used the proper word with my son, and DH calls it his peetie...

With our daughter, I plan to once again use proper words.. Who knows what word my husband will come up with....? I'm not sure he has a word for female parts - well, none that he'd use with his children..

[Mandy4President]

My son calls his a bumblebee. He came up with it himself. It works fine, I guess (the name I mean!) but the only time we had a problem with it was one time my MIL was trying to make the kids smile for a picture and she acted like she was going to tickle them and said, "Here comes the bumblebee!" They all looked at her funny and I told her that she probably just scared them to death!

[kakuehl]

Before we had children, my husband and I took a course on human sexuality. The teachers recommended that children be taught the proper terms and that's what we did with ours. The only difficulty came when my daughter was somewhere around the age of 2 and became aware that she and her brother were different. I explained that he had a penis and she had a vagina. That was sufficient explanation for her, except that she then wanted to catagorize everyone she met. Luckily my mother couldn't understand her when she asked her if she had a 'gina. Ah, well!

Blessings to you!
Kathy

[calikismet]

This is an interesting topic for me, as we are also starting through this. From the beginning, I used the proper terminology with our son. My husband, on the other hand, feels that all men should have nicknames for their penises, and has aptly given our son one for his own use (which my son uses proudly, with a sly smile).. Yes, I groan in irritation, but as long as our son also knows the proper names, I am fine with it (altho he insists that he has "tenticles" which gets very confusing when he sees an octopus!

Our daughter is another story. I am having a hard time figuring out what words to teach her. Men are easy -- they have one major organ. But girls have a genital area, with several different structures, and I am not sure if generalizing it into one word is okay...

Ah, isn't parenting fun!!??

[mikiment]

Personally, I'm a "use the proper terminology" type myself. Just think kids should grow up being comfortable with all their body parts and their proper names, so I don't want to act like certain parts are "dirty" or something we are freaked out about or don't talk about. However, I DO emphasize that certain parts are "your private parts, and nobody else should touch your private parts except the doctor or when Mama or Daddy help clean your body." (Sad that we have to start those conversations so soon, eh.)

This whole discussion reminds me of that play, The Vagina Monologues. A lot of folks are just plain uncomfortable with proper terminology. Of course, I'd also heard one time that exhibiting "too much knowledge" about body parts could be a sign of a child having been sexually abused, but I don't think using proper terminology should be construed that way. We're just pretty matter-of-fact about it.

[mycodybear]

We haven't crossed this bridge just yet, so I'm not sure what we'll do. I just thought I'd add what my husband says- he usually gives Viktor a bath and he will name all the parts while he cleans them, "let's wash your arms, your legs, feet, etc. Then he tells him to stand up and he says "let's wash your jimmy johnson". He is a Dallas Cowboys fan, so I guess that's what DH has decided to go with for him. Men are funny- I know my husband would have a problem calling them by their proper names- ESPECIALLY if we ever had a daughter!!

[lovestruck]

We have used the correct terminology with our boys. But I do have to admit, the female terminology makes me cringe too, but we have pretty much decided we will also use the correct terminology for her too.

[votemom]

we called them what they are. for my daughter when she was little i said "your private area" and then as she got older i said "vaginal opening" since the outside really isn't the vagina.

when they get older, everybody knows the words so it doesn't matter a whole lot.

although it's possible a young child could get teased by calling something by a cutesy name.

i guess i think the best reason for calling parts by their real names is just another example to your child that you can be counted on for accurate info and that nothing regarding sexuality is too embarssing to talk about. that comes in handy when they get older.

[LibbyHawkins]

Never really thought about it, but my fs calls her "front" her heiny, which drives me crazy, I always tell the baby , let's wash your "hoo hoo" now. I just think "hoo hoo" is fun to say, always makes her smile!

I agree with one of the posters above, girls don't just have one part, so hard for me to tell her it's her vagina. IYKWIM

[Vicki H]

I always taught Alex the proper term for his private parts. He calls it his peeny, close enough for now...LOL.

I was always a firm believer in teaching children the proper term for private parts. My dh feels a bit differently and always tries to use some cute little name and I correct him, which he hates.

[Jim_in_PA]

I believe in real names, although I, like many of my generation, didn't "grow up" using them and in some cases, even knowing them. And for the girls, up until things need to get more specific, "vulva" seems to work just nicely for the entire area, at least in our experience.

[KiraLin]

I to had planned to use the proper terms if/when I had kids. I am fine with them. Working with kids who had been abused for so long I am well over the the cringe factor. That said...I must admit I changed my mind for two reasons. The first is that my dd repeats EVERYTHING and LOUDLY. For example if any of you are familiar with "The potty book for girls" she has recited much of it very loudly on a recent shopping trip. Also I walked into her daycare to witness one of the older girls (4 not 3) pulling her pants down and saying to all around, "This is my vagina". Since those two events I go with "private parts". So much for practice what you preach...

[lippylulu]

We use the proper words when discussing hygiene, privacy, serious things, which my daughter pronoused as gina nad pingus. If for some reason we are joking around, we use silly made up words that evolved when our daughter was first learning English...they have various meanings in our family but when used in a certain context they clearly refer to body parts. I geus every parent and every family hastheir own way with tis. Its probably not a bad thing for kids to know the real words as well as whatever people are comfortable with.

[jkkclinton]

This is a great thread!! I am seriously impressed with the amount of people that have chosen to use the proper terms. Although...someone who is confident enough to post about it would usually have the confidence for the right name...(that wasn't meant to offend...ugh..hope you got what I was trying to say!).

Anyways, we also use the proper terms. Kaylee, who has a hearing problem, heard me say penis to James one of the first few times I changed him and what she heard was "peanuts" so that was it for a while. She has since learned the correct terminology.

I have to admit, it was uncomfortable once Kaylee and James started to learn eachother's parts. It was also at that point that Kaylee started bathing by herself. I figured I would go by there cues and if they are starting to check out eachother's bodies then that is probably the cue to separate them into gender specific baths!

We also had the issue of Kaylee walking into daddy getting out of the shower a few weeks ago. Where it had always been who cares this time she kind of giggled...and that was the cue for no longer walking into mommy and daddy's bathroom without knocking!! hahaha

I remember taking a Psych of Sexual Behavior course and as a class we listed all of the possible names for body parts...it's amazing what people come up with just to get out of saying penis and vagina!!

Fun thread!
Krista