[DET62]

I am a part-time writer, but I have not had much time to write lately. I want to write a children's book [or books] that might be helpful to older children coming into a family. I am adopting a 10 year old boy from Kazakhstan later this year, and there are so many things he will need to learn about being part of a family.

I have spent so much time teaching my daughter [adopted at 13] what it's like to be in a family. We had to teach her things like putting your napkin in your lap when you eat, to not punching all the buttons on the security keypad, to how it's OK to say you're angry - just so many, many things, large and small. I was thinking if I had had a book to show her, with good illustrations and in Russian as well as English, it might have helped her understand better what a famly is like.

I was thinking ideally it should be a colorful book aimed at kids 5-12. Is that too big an age range? I was also thinking it would be effective if it were a story that is personal, something like "Anya and Her New Family" - showing the journey of one child and how she copes.

Anyone else think this is a good idea? I am not looking to make a lot of money, just to help families adjust to adopting older kids.

Any thoughts or ideas you have on this would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Dee

[Abdulina]

Awesome Dee!!! I had wanted to do that for awhile and never had the chance. Glad to hear you might be able to make it happen. There is a need for a book like that. Most adoption books I've seen are geared to a younger crowd so this would be ideal. Best wishes. Still contemplating what you wrote me about. (send you a pm later). Got to run. Meeting w/ the principal.

take care and this is a fabulous idea. I'll buy one!--signed by the author of course.

[beckyww]

Sounds like a great idea! We've had to work with Julia, age 6, on turning on and off light and other switches repeatedly; trying one bite (just one!) of new foods; not having to ask permission to use the bathroom; shutting the front door; riding in a carseat; shaking hands; and sharing.

Becky
www.woodworthfamily.blogdrive.com

[DET62]

Thanks, Becky, those are all good ideas. Maybe I should've entitled this thread "please give me ideas!" because I've forgotten some of the things Alesia did when she first came home. She was afraid of the car, didn't want to use a seatbelt, didn't want to wear a coat - just so many things.

Keep the ideas coming, those who have adopted older kids!

[BTW, I love reading your blog, Becky!]

Thanks,
Dee

[LisArno]

Great idea!

I'm "visiting" from the Polish forum, so here's my two cents. How about a series of books, with each book featuring a child from a different country and dealing with a different issue?

[angelkisses0102]

Great idea...no ideas...but I think it is wonderful!!

[nancyral]

Everyone else has such great ideas - I will add just one. If you can get across the idea that when mama and papa are angry about behavior it doesn't mean they don't still love the child, it would help.

[LilyMoon]

Great idea! I would love a book like that. There is so much that our daughter, adopted at age 4, needed to learn upon coming home. We had attachment struggles, language struggles, learning how to live in a family, she didn't even know how to use toilet paper! We did regression and attachment work...gave her a bottle, rocking, feeding, baby games, co-sleeping, etc. Maybe you could include how a new child needs to be babied when they come home to make up for any babying they missed earlier and to give their new family a chance to baby them too? Just an idea.

Also, how they need to come to Mama and Papa for help with things instead of doing things themselves and for comfort too when they get hurt or have hurt feelings. That is another thing many adopted kids need to learn and understand.

Good luck and keep us posted about it.

[Abdulina]

Alot of issues have been touched on that kids do. One I remember is mine used to eat as much as they could. --orphanage mentality of you didn't know what or when your next meal was. My older daughter's orphanage was so poor that sometimes they only got one meal a day. So, something in the book about not hoarding food would be great. And that toilet paper is essential for hygiene! That's a biggie that we still struggle w/ to this day. And the toothbrush--you should use it. Being terrified of dogs when they first get home. That's anohter issue. I'll try to think of more. More errand running today.

Take care,

[LilyMoon]

Yes, Abdulina - good suggestions with the toothbrush and the stuffing themselves at mealtime! We dealt with both.