[maddensmom]

OK... so child psych has finally decided that her limited experience with ad children is holding ds's progress up and that we should see an attachment specialist. His speech therapist mentioned the same today as it continues to be a problem that ds does not engage with people when they are speaking and thus misses so much, words, sounds, lip movements, etc. So everyone, we need someone here in good old New Orleans. Anyone have any ideas because after a day full of searching and calling and being referred to people who just refer me, I am stumped.
I am in major melt down mode about this right now as things seem to be getting harder as they get easier. doe sthat make sense? DS's behavior is somewhat easier to deal with lately, except for bed time which is horrific. But the control issues and lack of eye contact are still huge problems. I am not the best mentor for this but I am making huge efforts to do what is uncomfortable to me and just unnatural to me at times, but the child still will not look me in tee eys during real interaction. Now, when he wants something that is a different story. And these control issues are getting better regaridng meals right now too. I am excited about that. But, you all know what I am talking about right? This kid still makes every effort NOT to connect at times.
So, anyway, any ideas would be great.

[Pinkie]

Bumping this up to the top! Good Luck maddan's.mom I hope you find a therapist soon.

[Kasey]

Wish I had someone to offer, but I don't, just wanted to wish you the best, I am sure other's here will have some great input for you.
Is there any chance you could travel if there is not one local to you?

[karenjoe]

Have you tried the rad zebra website? I believe they have lists by state.

[DET62]

The lack of eye contact is a fear-based reaction. Try to be calm, pitch your voice calmly, sit quietly, try to not force it. The more you try to force eye contact the more fearful the child is, and the worse the results.

A book I have read and I recommend strongly is "Beyond Consequences..." [long title] by Bryan Post and Heather Forbes. It's all about a new approach to attachment problems. My daughter is much better since I've started using their strategies.

I also recommend you read Dr. Ronald Federici's book "Help for the Hopeless Child" - he's a wonderful Neuropsychologist, and himself has 7 older Russian and Romanian children. I am flying to Washington to have him evaluate my daughter in a few weeks, because he worked miracles for a friend of mine whose daughter was out of control.

PM me if you'd like more ideas. I know it's very frustrating. Hang in there.

Dee

[maddensmom]

Thank you so much for the info everyone. We are definately willing to travel for this purpose. And, though I am a bit overwhelmed with all of the info derived from attachment sites, it is very useful.
Thanks so much again. I really appreciate the help.

[angelkisses0102]

www.radzebra.org (Also, check your other post on this.)

[mikeintexas]

T - I am truly sorry you are facing these issues, but I also know that you are doing the right thing in finding an attachment therapist. The link from Karen above is the one we used to find somebody.

Keep your spirits up and communicate with people who know how you are feeling. I might also recommend you join the listserv at the rad zebra site. PM me if you need more details, but it has been by far the best help I've found to date.

Hang in there!!!

Mike

[maddensmom]

Thanks again. I have contacted RADzebra. They just do not have anyone listed here, that is why I was asking. I just thought someone might know something not listed there by some chance. Like I said, I am willing to travel but I want all the info first.
Appreciate the help.

[mikeintexas]

Hi T - yes, I saw the e-mail come across the rad zebra listserv from Kelly asking about someone there. I don't know how far you are wanting to travel. But there is someone in Houston and we are seeing one in Austin this Friday. Mike

[maddensmom]

Thanks Mike. I am checking into it. Houston is not too far at all if that is what helps. I really appreciate your advice.

[ddahl]

I really feel for you as it is a trying road to walk. Somedays its all I can do to not sit and weep. Many days DS is like a typical toddler and other days he is suffering through attachment. It is very trying. On the worst days, I feel that I should be at my best but generally on those days I reflect that I could have done better. The nights are the worst here too. DH gets him readu in the morning so on top of everything else, I have him in the evening while DH is working. I call it the witching hours. He is difficult at best most nights unless Its my day off. Then he is wonderful. Good luck in your search. You are not alone. Hugs!