[trnews71]

Our Biological daughter is 3 and we are looking forward into bringing our 5 yes old from Estonia soon (I hope)

[KatieIC]

You may be in overload by now on the messages but I am feeling chatty tonight...

I have a bio son, 5, and now have unexplained secondary infertility. Been trying to get pg again since E was 1. Started the adoption process when he was 3, and by the time he had turned five, he had a 2 year old sister and three year old brother, both from Russia, unrelated. Now, E is disappointed that he is not from Russia. He LOVES being a big brother and has been waiting for these playmates FOREVER!!! Our adoption(s) are recent, and I am already getting full reports from people who see E when I don't (swimming practice, VBS teacher, etc) who tell me how he just goes on and on about F and J....

HOWEVER - I must give you a very serious warning. When I started the adoption process 2 years ago, I was under the impression that THIS time I would not have to gain weight. Does anyone care to EXPLAIN my 20 lb gain? Isn't it amazing how you will rationalize NEEDING Dairy Queen to celebrate your I171H coming in?

[tbristow]

See the signature. I had secondary infertility as well and then after a miracle baby and a divorce, dh #2 and I tried and it happened again.

[swmphoto]

We have two Bio daughters 11 months apart and
then wanted to expand our family with another bio
baby but that was not someones will so we looked
into adoptions and could not be in more love with our
new little brother. My girls think this little guy is thier
live doll. He looks so much like them it crazy.

Go for it.

[awaitingagirl]

Doozer-I have to say that I am in the same boat as you! I have 2 bio boys and we just adopted a little girl about a yr ago. we are adopting again, however there are times that I feel my bond with my boys is much stronger than it is with her. It is my feelings that it is because we carried the children for 9 months and have all that time to bond with them, then when they are born its even more special. When our daughter was born, I was so excited, I even cried but as time went on.... well maybe it was even in the hospital, I knew ** could change her mind so I detatched there possibly. It stayed that way I think for a good while after that. I still feel that way, probably think about it every other day, when I think about the letters/pics I need to send it reminds me that Im not her birth mom and its hard for me. I dont think it matters if you got the child from birth or from a toddler stage. I think its hard no matter what.
Good luck on with the Attachement Therapist. I dont think I need it yet, but you never know what the future may hold
dont get me wrong I love that little girly more than anything, I just have my days as well. She has been nothing but a blessing to this family and I hope our next child, should God give one to us, will be just as a delight as her!
That would make us 4!

[intladoptionblog]

I'm one of those "two family' situations. My bio kids are 37 and 35. My adopted kids are 3.75 and 15 months.
Fun, fun, fun!

[awaitingagirl]

WOW! And you still have it in you to raise children! Thats great!

[intladoptionblog]

My husband and I often wonder out loud what we smiled about before these little ones came home.
My granddaughter is a year older than Sam, our 3.75 year old, but it makes no difference at all.
I suppose that's why they have me write on the Older Parent blog!

[awaitingagirl]

Oh Im sure. I can see my DH now, "what are you crazy?" ha ha ha
Something did occure to me, do your children (older ones) or did they, get upset thinking that you wouldnt give your grandchildren the attention that grandparents should give them??

[scassady]

We are in the process of adopting and have a 3 1/2 year old bio. son who is wonderful! I had two miscarriages (at 9 and then 7 weeks) last year which was quite a surprise for us as my son was my first pregnancy with absolutely no problems conceiving or during pregnancy or delivery. However, I am 36 and while I know many women have perfect pregnancies well into their 40's, I feel uncomfortable trying to conceive again.
My aunt and uncle adopted 2 sisters from Ukraine 2 years ago, and they are our inspiration for adopting.
We feel that there are so many children who need a loving home, and this just feels like the right decision all around for us!
Stephanie

[awaitingagirl]

Very cool stephanie. I hope we can all go thru this together. Now are you doing domestic or intl?

[intladoptionblog]

Originally Posted by awaitingagirl

Oh Im sure. I can see my DH now, "what are you crazy?" ha ha ha
Something did occure to me, do your children (older ones) or did they, get upset thinking that you wouldnt give your grandchildren the attention that grandparents should give them??

Good question, and an issue often in families like mine. (Thanks for the blog fodder! I'll write about this today.)

My oldest did mention that she'd hoped her daughter would be my whole focus, but since we're on opposited sides of the planet (geographically, not philosophically...I live on an island in the Indian Ocean and she lives in North Carolina), my opportunities to spoil my granddaughter are few and far between. Her other grandma gets most of the granny goodies, as she lives only an hour away.

It's certainly true, though, that my little ones get the bulk of my efforts, attention, etc, just as my bio kids did when they were small.

[awaitingagirl]

Well you welcome. We live in NC too. Well sounds like you guys know what your doing. Atleast their "other" Grandma is around for her. I know how that can be.

[intladoptionblog]

Here's the link for the blog about bio kids reactions to adoption:

http://older-parent.adoptionblogs.co...ns-to-adoption

[awaitingagirl]

Cool, thanks. I looked at it a bit this morning. I'm really dreading the wait again. We arent even up on our agencies webiste yet, patience is not one of my virtues