[angelkisses0102]

Can anyone share their experiences with this....

Very early but a situation may be presenting itself to us...I have zero background right now other than she is in state care (and DH is at the aquarium with her right now. ) She would be aged between our two...closer to DD and leaving the AD child (Alex) as the youngest.

I would expect AD/RAD in this situation, just based on what I know about where she is currently residing. I know that AD/RAD child should be the youngest....but what about in a situation where one child already is in the home and struggling?

Oh boy...this is why DH shouldn't be doing volunteer work with kids... Well at least this would solve our question of what country to adopt from next...somehow I knew once he got involved in this organization this was gonna happen!

[mjkkbbr]

I don't know about the AD stuff but my youngest needed to stay the youngest so we did adopt out of birth order. I think there are positives to adopting into the middle. Our kids have all done great with the new addition.


Our kids are 11, 9, 8 (Anna Home 5/5), 6, 4 & 3.

[momto4boys]

Same with us, our youngest needed to stay the youngest. I think it would have hurt them more if we had adopted younger than our twins. No matter in what order you adopt, you will be "disrupting" the family dynamics and then have to find your new normal.

[HollyB]

I'm certainly no expert, but it seems in your particular situation, adopting out of birth order would work. Alex would maintain his "youngest" status. Our daughter was happy to continue to be the "baby" when we put three children ahead of her in birth order.
I didn't know this was something you'd been considering. (adoption through our foster care system) We continue to throw the idea around, but not until a few of ours are out of the house. Right now we have six children and I've hung the "no vacancy".
It sounds like you would be a wonderful mother for this girl. You certainly know what you're in store for. My goodness, you could write your own manual.
Holly

[angelkisses0102]

Thanks guys...I thought a few of you were out there that did this...Alex needs to be the baby and probably it would be best if he were the only boy...at least at this point.

We talked about adopting thru foster care originally but let's just say the state was a mess...not that it's great now but...it's better and with DH volunteering with the kids and our being experienced in adoption now...it may just work out. It's way too early to tell is she is the 'one' but it looks like we may be on the road to #3 sooner rather than later.

[Abdulina]

Karen,

Great news! We've adopted out of birth order and are doing so again. Didn't matter w/ our little RADish even though he is currently still the youngest. -- that may change though. You'll know when your kids are ready. Shoot, mine weren't quite ready when we jumped into Bojan but it did work out in the end. Just make sure you have the time to deal w/ some of Alex's issues. You shouldn't have any trouble though b/c it sounds as though Alex has made great strides. By the way though, my boys love having their brothers to play with. Made a huge difference in the house when Max and Irina had another girl and boy to play with. They form a closeness that is hard for a brother and sister to share as they get older. Same interests. Boys like boy things and girls like girl things. Overall though, you have nothing to worry about adopting out of birth order. And most others I've talked to who have done it, will tell you the same thing. Keep us posted.

take care,

[SingleMama2B]

Congrats (hopefully) Karen!! I of course cannot offer any experience or sage advice, but I know you can handle it! I'm sure with keeping Alex the youngest, it would be fine!!!

I think it is wonderful, and that little girl would be soooo blessed to have you and your family as hers!!!

Blessings..................

[mikeintexas]

I don't have any advice either, but I'm awfully happy to read this. Mike

[GCS]

Karen - I would say that bringing a middle, girl child home would likely be easier for Alex than bringing home a small child or another boy.

I think this could work really well for you!

Let us know!

Christina

[lovestruck]

I'll be anxiously waiting to see what happens. May God be your guide.

[charles2004]

Sorry no advice for you Karen, as adopting out of birth order is not allowed here in Ontario Canada!
This is actually a road block we are facing right now too!
Best wishes!

Tami