[pequele]

ok as many of you know I am trying to decide if I can do this as a single parnet. so far haven't done anything other than look into programs.

last night I had a little panic attack...especially knowing this will come up in the homestudy whenever I get to it. My work hours are irregular. I either work 8-4 or 2-10 on a set rotation every 2 weeks. I am an only child and my parents live an hour and half away. Obviously day care and school can cover the 8-4 shifts, but what is someone to do who works a swing shift...and by the way I have no option for this to change for at least a year or 2.

Obviously if I got pregnant and had a biological kid, this wouldn't be an issue to actually HAVE the child (just after it was born), but this can be a stumbling block getting through the process of IA.

Is it seriously possible to say I'd get a babysitter for those shifts? I mean I know I'd be able to count on my parents on occassion, but with the distance I think it would be more for like extended stays...ugh this is looking even more impossible than before when I thought I'd just have to worry about the costs!
thanks!
Stephanie

[mcanvasback]

I know it's scary - I am a single Realtor and I worry about being "on call" to my clients and making a living!!


But I am flying to meet my daughter on Saturday and I know I will work it out. So will you. Don't give up!!

[britfish]

I work shift work so I can somewhat understand (although fortuantely DH works a regular schedule so we are lucky in that aspect). I think it would be tough to find a daycare open that late and w/ a rotating schedule you would end up paying for a "slot" at a daycare center and the child wouldn't be there a lot. I think it is possible, but you would probably do better w/ a sitter who came to your house (that way your child could be put to bed in their own bed) or an in home day care that would have flexible hours that you could change when necessary. What age range are you considering?

[Kasey]

I would also look into a nanny or private sitter or even au pair. While in college, I worked for single mom who worked 1-9, so she had a regular sitter until 5 and then I came in. It seemed to work well.
Check out nanny services, local colleges (especially education or early childhood majors).
Best wishes!!

[pequele]

didn't think of the nanny thing...

I am hoping for a little girl in the range of 3-5 yrs old...definitely not old enough to stay home alone

[momm2be]

If you have the space -- look into getting an Au Pair. Apparently less expensive than nannies.

[lakimnafite]

DH was a single dad before he and I got together. He had terrible hours! He managed a gym and had to work 8-12 and then 4-8. Often, he didn't really get a break in the middle of the day. So DS was in day care for 12-14 hours a day (poor little guy)! DH actually talked with a woman who had a baby girl and worked in the gym's day care. Her hours were also odd, since the day care hours at the gym are varied, and she was often on call. She really wanted to be SAHM. So, they agreed to a price that was better than what she was making at the gym, and she stayed home with her baby and then had DS for most of the day.

So, a SAHM with a similar age child who would love some extra income is often a good option. If you lived in Oregon, we could talk!!

[LilyMoon]

I think a nanny is a good option, however, be sure that you can take off time when bringing your child home. You need time for her to adjust and to develop a bond with you before bringing another person into the situation.

I adopted my daughter at age 4, if you have any questions about adopting at that age, feel free to PM me.

[SingleMama2B]

Hi Stephanie.... I would seriously look into an "AuPaire" situation!!! I know of several people/families that did this, and couldn't be happier!! When I started thinking about adoption, I thought about this situation, and the only way I would do it, was with an AuPaire (Sp???). I am a single Mom, but with regular work hours, and DD is school age. If I where to adopt a younger child... this is what I would do!!!

Blessings...........

[pequele]

wow thanks for all the input! unfortunately I live in New Hampshire so getting to Oregon is a little further than my parents to drive

I do plan on staying home for the 8-12 weeks after we came home, that is a given! I'm just worried about the after that time what will happen...of course it will be closer to when I can look for a new job with better hours too, but I know I will still be stuck for a bit at first....ugh!

Thanks!
Stephanie

[cathvash]

Are you in an urnban or suburban area near a hospital or healthcare center? The reason I ask is because many healthcare staff work rotating or "off" hours, and are predominately female with children. A hospital, especially a larger one, may have an employee resource office that maintains a listing of local childcare providers available for all hours. A call to Human Resources should steer you in the right direction.

[nancyral]

If there is a local pre-school I'd bet a teacher's aide would like the part-time work to supplement his.her income and would be very good. Right now I have a Russian girl watching my daughter part-time and she has an hourly wage job that is somewhat flexible. Just a thought.

[qs mom]

We have 2 daycares here that are open til midnight. So, there may be one in your area.

How about a roomate? I have a friend w/ 2 little ones. A close friend lives with them and takes care of the kids in the odd hours that mom works.

The nanny seems to be a good idea. Maybe a neighborhood granny looking for some extra money, could keep an eye on your child for those night shifts.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

[pequele]

g's mom: where do you live?? I don't think there are any day cares open til midnight but that would be fantastic!

We do have a large medical facility down the road from us (Ivy League med school center) so there just amy be some options with them in the area....so many good ideas to think about before I get into the topic with the home study!

Thanks everyone you are awsome!!!!
Steph

[KimOH]

There are a few parents at our daycare who work later than the daycare is open (ours closes at 6pm). I know that one of DD's teachers babysits one of the kids "after hours" until the parents get home.

The teacher has "pick up permission" for the child, so when the teacher clocks out at the daycare, she picks the child up and takes the girl to her (teacher's) home and continues to watch her there.

I don't know that the school would "find" you a teacher who would do that, but our daycare (and the previous one we attended) maintain a list of teachers who are available to babysit after hours. Perhaps you could contact your favorite center and see if you could work something out with one of their teachers.